Wow, lots to blog about. All very random, and none of it in anyway relevant to my life! So all is fun.

First, a few brief announcements.

1) Ell is on her way home! W00tage ahoy!
2) /fpoole also has a new blog. More w00tage
3) I am doing neither of these

Ok? Now to post. I shall start with the conclusion of the clip show! Won't that be fun? No.

1/7/04

"What goes down in the land of the DickyBod? (no dirty answers than you very much... you people..)"

6/7/04

While my friends have had interesting things going on (trips to London, balls, MSN conversations)...Maybe I should take March 17th's blog's advice."also dude get a girlfriend its more fun than any ps2 game if you like each other enough.""

"Who was Mrs. Doyle married to?"

"Hang on, if 'was not' is 'wasn't', and 'does not' is 'doesn't', shouldn't 'will not' be 'willn't', not 'won't'? Meh, random thought."

" Mike Myers insisted that it was his idea originally to do a Matrix Parody with Shrek:"It was my idea originally to do a Matrix Parody with Shrek" - Mike Myers"

"'A masterpiece! The Wachowski Brothers...make a...good...film!' Cynical Monthly - 9/10'
8/10' Stupidity Weekly - 9/10
'Better than a game of Paper-Rock-Saddam' - Saddam Hussien, exleader of Iraqi Regime - 8/10'
Idiotic tripe. I've vomited better material than this, and it is not worthy to be called a film!' - Alternative Opinion Magazine - 34%
'Meh' - MTV Generation Weekly - 5/10"

"After Shrek and Fiona are married, Shrek begins receiving strange messages from an unknown sender. Finally, he is brought before Morpheus, a man well known to Shrek, who tells him that the real world is nothing but an extravagant prison constructed to siphon energy from sleeping humans in a nightmarish machine controlled future. Shrek then must fight to free mankind from this prison: "The Matrix", for he is the prophesised chosen one, "The One" who will bring about the end of the war between Zion and the Machine City, 01.Aided by Fiona, the wise-cracking Donkey and Puss-In-Boots, Shrek sets forth to learn the truth about himself and to answer the question, "What is the Matrix?"."

"Shrek 2. A fairytale too far. The Brothers Grimm Strike Back. Return of the Muffin Man."

10/7/04

"Last night I went to see the Langley Park production of West Side Story" - Also starring the mysterious drive-by kisser. It'll make sense soon

12/7/04

Just read the post again :D

16/7/04

"The rules are simple, and will be explained with the help of my good friend, Ted. Hello Ted!
o/ Hello Richard! Gee, it's swell to be here!
/
/
Shut up Ted. ASCII art doesn't talk like a 1930's spoiled brat.
0 Is it 'coz I is QWERTY?
<>
/\Get on with the damn rules Ted... or i'll go backspace on your pipeshift be-hind

(This goes on for a while. Eventually Ted gets a bit-part in an upcoming flash animation, leaving me on my own. Lets continue with the book extract.)"

19/7/04

"You know, the cesspool that contains the deeper cesspool of british government. The hive of Capital radio. the place immortalised in that rather optimistic song "London Bridge is falling down due to a terrorist action that probably will be nothing to do with Al-Qaeda, but we'll say it does so we can invade another country." London."

21/7/04

"For legal reasons, the following dialog is typed by actors"

"these long gaps rocked the blogging world with the possibility that the blog could dwindle into nothingness. "I was worried. The blog had been an entertaining read from it's first day. Every day i would see no new post, and, yeh i panicked. I cried some nights, I'm not ashamed to admit it" - Taken from Bloggers Monthly April"

"Why do I feel like crying? Thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Thanks to TeraDud who consistently bugged me to blog, thanks to fpoole for being the only one behind Da Croo, thanks to Megatrobe for introducing me to the blogging world and help with the HTML, thanks to mum for spreading it like a virus around her workplace, thanks to Sarah for plagerising my name and reading my blog when she should have been revising, thanks to Electricity for letting me screw up her other blog with my crap fiction, thanks to Wendy for that Beckham joke, thanks to Chris and JAJ for being the critical people they are, while still being sheep and blogging too, thanks to mum and dad for combining their chromosomes and making me what i am, thanks to my mind for thinking up half of these posts and making me the wierd person i am, thanks to Microsoft for Windows Media Player, MSN and Internet Explorer, without which this would be impossible to write, thanks to Stompp for waiting for over an hour and a half for this post, thanks also to him for the track he's sending me and the interview above, thanks to uk.playstation.com's Shadow for the signature idea and thanks to blogger.com for providing one hell of a service and not shutting me down, and thanks to all the insane people who have commented.Whoever you are, if you're reading this, thank you, God bless, dont stop reading this! I'm doing this for you guys! Thanks for giving me something to do with myself!!THANK YOU!!!DickyBod/'Chard/Richard"

23/7/04

"If you see any obvious breaches of basic health and safety, let me know so I at least know what it is I'm dying of."

24/7/04

"I am orf to London, where the streets are paved with gold (or the next best thing; 'bling') and a man can make his fortune, so long as he has a black cat, and he's in a fairy story."

3/8/04

"In other news, i've been killing myself in the effort and sheer willpower it is taking to be awake at 9.30 in the morning, just so i can talk to Sarah (who's in Spain, for those of ye who don't read her blog). "

22/8/04

"As above, until I get a phone call from Sarah. Then my battery went, so I tried again. Then my battery went again. Then I stole my mums phone. Then we broke up (relationship, not the phone line; that was rather good quality). Slept."

"Why does knicker elastic spontaneously melt on contact with a bad boy? You make nice guys wait until the third date, but a bad lad growls something provocative and before you know where you are, you're using your ankles as earrings."

29/8/04

"Ooh, looks like it might rain! Wait.. IT IS RAINING!!! 1 moment, I feel the need to go and run around in it..."

"I think AQA are used to catering for imbeciles by what they put at the bottom of the page :Number of Results 5 (Five)Like we don't know what the number five looks like..."What? How many is that? 5? How many is that""Oh, I'm sorry dear, I should have made it more clear, they mean V""You mean they don't use Roman Numerals? What incompetent cretins!"

1/9/04

"I finally realised what is wrong with hairdressers. You are sitting with your back to a stranger who is holding a very sharp object. At any moment they could lose all grip on life and lunge, stabbing you with the scissors, before hacking off your clothes, dragging you into the back room and rather clumsily trimming your bikini line."

23/9/04

"Yes, I know, I am not worthy to lick your boots, I have transgressed, forgive me for my sins! She was plying me with alcohol all night, and me, weak to pretty faces (unless they’re chavettes) was powerless to resist"

24/9/04

"Looked inactive, didn't I? Well I wasn't, but it wasn't for lack of trying, I can tell you. Actually Teradud's last post put me off blogging. A time I was to lie in for a week. When I woke up ...I went on what the popup advertisements refer to as a Roaring Rampage of Double Posting. I roared and I rampaged and I got some good posts in. In all, I've posted 253 posts to get to this point. I have only one more. The last one. The one I'm typing right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at the signoff... I am gonna POST SPAM!!"

26/9/04

"Horror of Catastrophes and eutrophies!"

28/9/04

"Then drama, where we talked about murder, rape and dead hamsters spinning around in dyson cylinders"

Finally, onto October!!!

3/10/04

"That's the number five, his name wasn't Henry Violetta or anything silly like that"

"a very amusing insight into the past of Sarah, somewhere I now have visual confirmation of"

5/10/04

"Then I got all numbed up in the gums, and lay back while Mr Dentist man drilled away merrily, hoping against hope he's never seen Marathon Man."

10/10/04

" We ended up with 15 bumped heads and 11 broken ankles! ON BABIES!!! the robot's jovial smile was very similar to that of a clown's, sinister and almost certainly psychotic. Still, that robot was no better than the babies' parents. Shudder..."

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And there we go! My Blogz Bezt Bitz!