They don't make 'em like they used to

A few weeks ago, while 'chillin'' at the Staines Domain i was treated to Matt playing us the theme to Fireman Sam, which was the best excuse to air guitar as a 5 year old. With this in my head for a few days, it was compounded by, on a trip towards Oxford, Matt's phone ringing to reveal his ringtone of current choice as the theme to Pokémon.

Suddenly, I sought out these tunes, in my search finding many other old TV themes that have not been heard for nigh on a decade. Here are my currently owned themes:

Pokémon
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Dragonball Z
Transformers
Doctor Who
The Avengers
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Fireman Sam
Inspector Gadget
Jimbo
SuperTed
Thomas the Tank Engine
The Herbs
Noggin the Nog
The Moomins
Bagpuss
Camberwick Green
Top Cat
Thunderbirds
Star Trek
Airwolf
Blackadder
Mary, Mungo and Midge
The Bill
Captain Scarlet
The Clangers
Fireball XL5
Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men
Stingray
Joe 90
UFO
Hector's House
AstroBoy
Rainbow
Fawlty Towers
Batman
Willo the Wisp
The Smurfs
Ghostbusters
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Mr Benn
The Raccoons
The Poddington Peas
Pogle's Wood
Penny Crayon
Grange Hill
Trumpton
Tales of the Riverbank
Ivor the Engine
The Magic Roundabout
Sharky and George
The Crystal Maze
Reboot
Animaniacs
Wacky Races
X-Men

If anyone wants any of them I am willing to help you relive your childhood the way only being a late teen will allow. Spectrum is Green :P

I'll let you know when I get anymore.


kthnksbi
reboot ;)

MONEY GRABBING SEXUAL WHORES!!!

You know its been a good exam when you manage to fit that phrase in there somewhere. Yup, that's all i knew of Chaucer; all the women are money grabbing sexual whores. English Lit went a lot better than I thought it might, despite being complacent. I, like the money grabbing sexual whore i am forgot to take the two books into the exam, after some twonk told me it was closed book. Yet, even without the respective book i managed to waffle on for 621 words about Tennessee Williams's psychological problems and for 402 about money grabbing sexual whores.

I like that phrase...

So, came home, came online and talked to only 1 money grabbing sexual whore until I started blogging. Though now Sarah is commiting an act of uber-pwnage, and Helen has gone onto a wet hair tangent.

So, I wondered today as I counted my words for this exam what ways people have for passing the time when they have the ten minutes or so left after they've finished the exam, but the exam isn't finished with the money grabbing sexual whores. I've developed a few ideas, use them and or ad to them. Any more can be commented, since i get bored easily:

1. Counting words
2. Drinking water
3. Doodling on the little sheet that has your name/candidate number on
4. Reading what others have scrawled on the desks
5. (for the truly adventurous) Add to the scrawl
6. Sing songs in your head (Ghost Love Score is a blessing. 10 minutes wasted!)
7. Count bricks (i made the calculated estimate that without doors or heaters the sports hall wall has 5508 bricks.
8. Make words with your name and canditate number. Unfortunately my candidate number is only a 5 away from being 'Free Otis'
9. Look around at everyone else trying not to fall asleep
10. Watch people fall asleep (I saw that, Messenger! Stay away from MY ink erasers...)
11. Look around for someone you don't know and learn their names
12. Read what questions others did
13. Look for the foolish people still working
14. Have a staring contest with one of the invigilators

Anymore?

Fallen'chard

Thursday

Seems to have been a good day all round for many.

For me, I have only this metaphor:

Woo! Englit tomorrow! I pity those with the retake as well...


How Comical

Saw episode III again today. Rocks. So hard.

The Odeon is catering to my fanboy whims somewhat. Go once, get a ticket. Go again with original ticket, get Yoda poster. Go with last 2 tickets, get Clone Trooper poster. Go with 3 of them, get yourself a shiny Anakin/Obi Wan poster. Go for a fifth time and nab the Vader one.

Alternatively, go to HMV and buy the posters for £3.99. Though.....then you dont get to see the younglings....MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sorry, infested with the soul of Nonnesuch there.

I saw 20 people I know in and around Bromley today! Madness!

1. Rob
2. Anna
3. Cara(?)
4. Mark
5. Richard
6. David
7. Steven
8. Elizabeth(?)
9. Sean
10. Rosti
11. Joe
12. Greg
13. Holly
14. Irritating Year 11 #1
15. Irritating Year 11 #2
16. Irritating Year 11 #3
17. Louis
18. John
19. Zach (n00b :P)
20. Anthony

A fair glut of people then! And almost all from LPBS, and almost all kick some level of ass. So all is well.

Webcomics. Arent they fun? With the exams underway, I have a little more free time when not revising to broaden my horizons. After succesful forays into the archives I have added Able and Baker and VGCats to the sidebar. After a VERY LONG foray that lasted for 2 evenings and nearly 7 years worth of strips I completed the Penny Arcade archives just now, and thus gains it's rightful place in the hallowed sidebars. So what is it about webcomics that so appeal?

My first real descent into webcomics was thanks to the Stomppster Of Darkness, who once upon a troubador gave me the link to White Ninja. After a quick fo'shizzle through the archives i was more than a little hooked. But, there was a random link on one of the pages that I clicked and was transformed into a wonderful wonderful world. And a WONDERFUL world it was.

And from there many many webcomic (most shown by stompp) have engaged my fancy. All have gained a link. What's rather fun to do is to compare the first with the last strips, just to see the differences. For instance:

Penny Arcade compared to Penny Arcade...
Ctrl+Alt+Del compared to Ctrl+Alt+Del
Angst Tech compared to Angst Tech
And for real laughs, Little Gamers compared to Little Gamers

Ok, four hours later i finish this post... i seem to have a lemur on me... dont ask...

Miss Hoover, the floor is shaking!

Though not due to a spurt of oil, but the bass line for Muse's Muscle Museum. Vibratey feet!


Ah, so study leave is now well and truly under that way. Which way? THE way. Hot damn I'm mad. Ooh, should change my MSN name, one momo...

...k changed. Nostalgia!

So 7 exams now done and dusted. English Literature, Drama Practical, General Studies x3, Film Studies x2. And now 2 days of respite before english literature (which i dont have to stay for the retake of!!! OH YEH!) and then 2 WEEKS of respite! Or an entire year, since i dont take my next exam until I'm 17! Wooo!


Have a lemur

I'm not obsessing. Really...

2 Gen Studs exams tomorrow. I only pity those poor sods who also have maths sandwiched in there.... no i don't really, i thought i'd say it >:D

Just some new 'saber shots. The fact it was pitch dark means all the shots have gone a rather nice red tint, as opposed to just the red of the saber and nothing else. Enjoy.

Yes, your Sithness...

Yes, I saw Episode III, who wasnt to touch me? I said who want's to.... ah whatever.

This post kinda has three themes, so bear with the crap and laugh at the good.

Episode III then. Uber is the only word that can describe. At some points worse than Episode I (shudder) and at others FAR greater than anything in the original trilogies (though not THAT moment Nonnesuch...). But I won't witter on, since everyone practically knows the story anyway. Just go and see it. With study leave ahead, I may wander into Bromley at random points and see it again. Anyone who wants to come it welcome, though I'm not taking the 'saber. No, don't even try and beg. No matter how deluded I may get, I'm sane enough to know that it won't be enough to cut down the droves of Chav Troopers. Nor deflect White Lightning bolts...

A good link for more embarrassing photos of me posing with the saber! Chris did a bit of coffufflement with the camera's settings, so the 'saber trails slightly better in dim light.

The Saga of Darth 'chard and the Invisible Foe

Darth 'chard sat bored at his computer. His lightsaber was polished, he'd destroyed all the insurrectionist worlds that one could possibly destroy for fun on a Tuesday, and night drew near.

"Ho hum..." he thought to himself. Suddenly, there was a large bang from outside. His innate Force/spidey sense abilities told him that something was going on outside.

"Something's going on outside", said Spiderman.

Quick as a flash, out ran Darth 'chard

And prepared himself for combat

He heard a rustle, and he struck!

Vwwwing!!! (x4)






With the evil now vanguished, he collected his report on what he'd attacked, and also what he'd accidentally swallowed during his feats of amazingly wicked cool Sith acrobatics:

"Ah heck..." he thought. Still, with no Form Tutor in the room, he was free to attack the Beast's lair, force pushing a window out of it's frame

Thus, with the day over, he left with his comrades Darth Dave and Sith Lord Matt. Along the way he found just how far the Force Push actually went:

But he did not trouble himself with this disturbance in the force, for he had unwittingly unearthed a rare Sith artifact:


And, on return to the Temple, he was given a plaque to honour his victorious campaign:

With this prestigious honour, he went on to become a very highly paid male model, beacuse of his uber sexilicious looks:


~Fin~

Well wasn't that fun?

Also, continiuing the trend of idiotic boromir:

Boromir's catapult at Rivendell
Boromir's catapult at Minas Tirith (crappy site, sorry)

Rise, Lord 'chard

Just a quickie, I've got a headache :P

Enjoy

General Studies

Yes, the tomorrow is the time of my SECOND summer AS exam (not counting the January lot, which aren't in summer...for obvious reasons). After the crazy creative zen touch that drama provided (geddit?) I have now the rampant hedonism of General Studies to regale me. Now, as some may not be aware, I haven't been to a GS lesson for the entire year. However, not once to pail at the thought of an insurmountable task (well, this one) I looked up General Studies on the Global Internationally Connected Netword of Computer Machinary Things. And, in case any be also in this state of limbo, here is what i found. I should ace the exam with this. Fo...shizzle.

Word.

General Studies: A Brief Overview



Matthew Studies was born July 4th 2005 in Madison, Wisconsin (USA). From a very early age he showed a very clear understanding of military tactics, when he directed his toy soldiers regularly in drilling exercises around his room. At the age of 3 he led his first battle - a game of chess with his father, which not only employed skilled use of 4 queens, a knight and an X-Wing piloted by a pawn, but also led to his father's 'imprisonment' in the basement of the house for 3 days upon capture. Such ruthlessness in combat situation was a trait he would later carry on in life.

He proved in his kindergarten days to be as adept in combat as he was out of it. An incident occurred in Fall '07 where another child pushed the young Studies as he play in the sandpit. The next day, Studies confronted the assailant and reclaimed the coveted tactical advantage the sandpit offered:



His militaristic tendencies remained under the surface until high school, when the Second Great War broke out in '16. A few days after the invasion of the Americas, Greater Hill High came under seige by a skirmish force. However, Studies managed to aid the American Army's counter attack using his skilled vantage point inside one of the school's computer labs. From this elevated position, he used a rifle given to him by one of the custodians to pick off some of the enemy forces.



It was at this point in his life that he met 'Jennifer', a girl who was at the time noted for a personality that leant towards being rather shy and reserved



In the summer of '30 they wed, and Matthew finally entered active military service, despite the pressures he faced raising his three sons:



So it was that over the years and in several battles, Matthew Studies grew to the rank of General, before his death in January 2089.

-

Revise? Pah!


Sex with a nun...

Mental note: Never attempt a hard difficulty mission while in a violent mood...

Wierd Wednesday

And indeed it has been that my faithful chinamen. Weird wonderful wacky zany crazy freaky funky and gigglesome. Yet still I feel a little shit. Meh, I'll work on it.

So, as that crazy cat MCMcC chronicles so well, today was a wednesday, and a pretty damn good one at that. I got in late due to... ahem, well lets just say i was in late. I went to sign in, seeing Dave Olli Lewis and Dan heading toward the maths block. Making a mental note to follow them later, I headed to the reception to sign in. But what a bitch that woman was! Just becuase she couldn't bloody well hear me when I quite clearly stated that Stewart was my surname and not me first name she gives me an ugly look when I say I just overslept and writes with a certain maliciousosity (its a word damn it) 'No excuse'. She even snorted with derision beforehand! BITCH! You're a secretary not the damn Head Of Sixth Form, just 'cos you hold some power you dense woman...

Ahem, anyway. So I went off to try and find everyone, running into Tom on the way. After a cursory search of the Teaching block which was like an empty fruitbowl (fruitless) I caught up with them going to the Atkins Centre and I joined them. After a rather uneventful period of chitchat and Snap I went upstairs to Media, which was possibly the most interesting lesson we've had in a while.

First task was to translate this into standard english:

'My smmr hols wr CWOT. B4, we used 2 go 2 NY 2C my bro, his GF & 3 :-@ kds FTF. ILNY, its gr8. Bt my Ps wr so {:-/ BC o 9/11 tht thay dcdd 2 stay in SCO & spnd 2 wks up N. Up N, WUCIWUG -- 0. I ws vvv brd in MON. 0 bt baas and moos'

Have a go! After that we were asked to get our phones out (the girls shivered with orgasmic symbiotic delight) and put them on the desk. Now, the humour of the situation for me may be lost on some, so I'll provide a picture of my phone:



The 7110. Came out in about 2002 I'm led to believe, though it seems a lot longer. So, when people were getting out their slick and slinky clamshell bluetoothed cameraphones I was sitting proudly with my brick. Indeed, as Father Jack once said:

I LOVE MY BRICK!

We were then asked to list all the features of our phones. Simple one here:

'Paperweight'

About all it does. Next question, 'how well could you cope without your phone for a week?'. Answer: "TAKE IT! PLEASE LET ME BE RID OF IT!" No really, I go upto chavs and ASK them to mug me for my phone. One look and they scarper though.

After that rather jubilant exercise, we were put into to groups of four to come up with our own phone. Since Louis and I were sitting in our own little two, we were matched with Syd and Mandy. Oh...fun! /sarcasm. Still proved to be pretty good. After a little introductory hostility between Syd and myself we got down to work. As usual, me and Louis came up with the important stuff like the design, one feature and the slogan (punned up) while Syd and Mandy came up with the aesthetic stuff. Women...

And so that was media. After break was the rollicking delights of Film, and after watching the rest of Goldfinger we moved onto the end of Billy Elliot, which was of course always a barrel of laughing monkeys. Then English, and MAN can Herbert talk for England?! Mad as the proverbial hatter.

Lunch wasn't overly interesting, which perhaps marked the steady decline of the quality of the day. Form period was close to ritual torture. I wanted to get up there early to read some exam notes, but came into Tyler's room to the rampant sound of Sophie Ellis-Bextor. A little confused, considering Tyler's usual taste in music being smooth jazz (a fact I and Andrew find a great deal of fun in) the shrill female pop tangent he'd taken wasn't something I was expecting. I espied the CD case on the desk, and went to investigate, only to recoil in horror at this sight:



Then, possibly as a serious mistake, I did not turn it off but browsed the track listing:

1. Beyoncé Feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love
2. Girls Aloud - Jump
3. Rachel Stevens - Some Girls
4. Jo Jo - Baby It's U
5. Danni Minogue V Flower Power - Don't You Forget About Me
6. Pink - Get The Party Started (Radio Version)
7. Christina Aguilera - Genie In A Bottle
8. Emma - Maybe
9. Sugababes - Round Round
10. Christina Milian - Am To Pm
11. Lolly - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
12. Las Ketchup - Aserje (The Ketchup Song)
13. Lumidee - Uh Oh Oh
14. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Murder On The Dancefloor
15. Samantha Mumba - Always Come Back To Your Love
16. Daphne & Celeste - U.G.L.Y
17. Jennifer Ellison - Bye Bye Boy
18. I Dream - Dreaming
19. Louise - No Matter What
20. Lmc Vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above

25 minutes of this... Ashley kept himself sane by looking at naked people, most had thier own iPods. I had to resist the urge to paper cut my jugular open with a playing card.

And that was my wednesday. Fun fun fun?

Hm, getting worse...

Little Joys of Life #2

Singing loudly and otherwise acting like a total imbecile (via airguitar/ dancing/ perfecting one's lightsaber form) secure in the knowledge noone can see or hear you!!!

#227

A title that has no relevance to anyone really, but it makes sense to me. (Apologies for discrepancies in font and font size)

On saturday I purchased a game that after only 2 days is very close to my heart, and is in serious contention with my MSN time (shock horror!). Remember this:

The Future's Bright... The Future's Perfect

Aye, Timesplitters Future Perfect is now in the sweet sweet custody of my PS2 game shelf. Time for a pros and cons list then :P

Story Mode
Pros
Free Radical have made the story mode a lot more indepth than was previously offered through the second game (certainly more so than the first) and the whole thing is a lot more fun to play.
Cons
Short. Very Short. 2 hours worth of play is a little shoddy.

Arcade League

Pros
The fights are still as fun as ever...
Cons
...pity there isn't as many or as difficult

Challenge

Pros
Racing a remote controlled cat. Need I say more?
Cons
Again, not many challenges

Weapons (Mwahahahaha)

Pros
Harpoon Gun - What could be more fun than 3 foot long CO2 propelled spikes? Only the sound it makes when it hits someone :P
All Pistols - Could have dual, but they sound so much better with attached suppressor
Injector - Inoculation the fun way
Temporal Uplink - Total rip off of HL2's gravity gun. But if it ain't broke...
Time Disruption Grenades - OMGOMGOMG nothing more fun than killing in slo-mo :P
Cons
Baseball Bat - Pointless really. Baseball bat vs 9mm? No contest.
Dispersion gun - Erm...what does it do?

But there is one aspect I have not touched upon. This game is GREAT for stress relief. One rather fun setup I found is here in this recipe:

1. Team Deathmatch
2. Vietnam
3. 30 minutes
4. 10 bots all on Team Red
5. Soviet Rifle and Machine Gun x2

Theres nothing special to be gained from 10 WWI uniformed men running at me with rifles in a group. There is a LOT to be had from holding R2 with the Machine Guns x2 pointed at them.

64 bullets later, and the muzzle flash clears to 10 very still and very dead bots.

Repeat for 30 minutes :P

I took some photos of the end game stats:









Apparantly, someone dies every 3 seconds as a result of worldwide poverty. According to the above, a bot dies every 3 seconds as a result of a crazed Insetick SD/18 called Valmar.

Oooh yeh >:D

Anyway. I have also recently become a womens fashion model. For those that wondered what my current MSN name is about, here it is:


'Whoao, the sweetest thing'


Come get me lads... rawr ;)


Bootéliscious, I'm sure you'll agree :D

Well, i've set myself up for ridicule. Go me and my lack of esteem or dignity!!! :D

'chard

Post number 3 for today

Little Joys of Life 2

ANYTHING THAT DOESNT INVOLVE ANY FUCKING FEMALES...

A bit of a week excuse... pt 2

Look down for sunday. No idea why im doing one post per day but cheese it.

MONDAY!!!!

And a holiday of the banking variety as well, so no school! r0xx0rs!

After a quick awakening, I tottled of to the station where I was amazed to discover that for the first time on one of these trips I was alone at the platform (well, apart from when i got the earlier train or missed it) . Still, i bought my travelcard, and waited on the platform for the somewhat later train than usual. With the long wait, i decided to find things to amuse meself with whatever I could find.

HAving spent some of firday in the company of the ever cool Dave J and guests, the advert for Nobby's Nuts is now quoteworthy playground chatter. So I was most amused to see this under me bench:


Aye, the salty nuts of Nobby. AH CRAP FONT CHANGE. Bugger it. So, the train then arrived and I boarded and found my rightful place next to Jon and Nick, and off the train trundled until we picked up Dave at Clock House. We then had to wait at Charing Cross for Dave and Helen, so I took a preliminary group photo to get in the mood



Bit small, sorry. Still getting used to not using links. So, after a short while Dave turned up to much cheer, which he looked only slightly perplexed at:


Helen then arrived, and off we set to the Square that is Trafalgar's own. Where, a miracle occured, as among the fetid and diseased pigeon, was a duck:


Madness. We decided to make our way to Leicester square so we could make preliminary arrangements for film watching, though on the way i did see this rather amusing shop sign: Large version, so you can actually see the joke. If you can't read it, the sign in the window says 'Indian Restaurant'. So its funny. LAUGH DAMMIT! Ah well. The cinema wasn't very active, so we decided to look for confection, so we walked past the Sex Shop, past this ghastly sight:



and found confection. To kill time we walked back to Leicester Square, browsed in Switzerland for a bit, where i resisted buying a tie and eventually flopped on the ground for a while, where Dave messed about with Jon's camera



Time was not suffiently dead though, so we stopped in starbucks for a spell and a coffee. Which gave rise to this jovial group photo:



The film was ok, but not great. Trillian was nice (mmm) but that song was unforgivable. UNFORGIVABLE ok ye that comment on helen's?

So, we set off home, where dave somehow found a spirit level on the train:


Good day really.

A bit of a week excuse...

...but I thought I'd wait for a whole week to go by before blogging again. Though don't expect it to be of concording length :P

So, let us begin where all weeks begin. At the end.

Sunday

Sunday was a funday (^_^) in that Sa was there for most of it, only to leave as I entered the engine assisted travelling pod, with Lightsaber in hand bound for the abode of the action made when the foot slams (or stomps, if you will) on the ground. After a pretty uneventful journey, which was only enhanced by playing a game with mum involving the tallying of BMW or Mercedes there were on the road, we arrived at the Fabled Music Den of Yore (mum. ooooh).

So after a short wait at the front door (which seemed not to want to have itself opened...hmm) I was allowed into the humble abode, where I was not only greeted by Stompp and his Humour Underlings (his parents, funny, but in a TOTALLY different way) but...

...but...

...BUT...

(belated drum roll)

...that Almighty and Powerful Diety herself, in the flesh, but 3 metres from my humble self. After some bowing, worship and general deference she stopped making a fool of herself and left me alone ;)

So, third time lucky. After some initial pleasantaries during which I sat and watched the gathered assembly masticate (careful helen...) teh Stompp, Ell and I retired to the Reason Room, where after some awkward moments where i think I actually managed to scare Ell just a teense, we left the house bound for the picturesque locales of the woods. And picturesque they indeed were, with me and Stompp talking our usual hobbit about slaying hordes of viscious reanimated dead, with Ell walking alongside quietly humming to herself. Surreal rather.

So, afters we retired to The Reason Room again and just generally chilled. I got me first taste of Cowboy Bebop, and any well done animé is enough to send me salivating so this was poifect.

So that was fun and cool. Especially since I was treated to Ell's rendition of Hysteria (the sing, not the condition, though i think i got that too), though it is rather sad to note we did not face each other at Halo -OR- Soul Calibur, something that shall have to wait for another time methinks.

Home and sleepsybyes

Little Joys of Life #1

Running around outside in the rain, flapping your arms and giggling insanely!!!