Wierd Wednesday

And indeed it has been that my faithful chinamen. Weird wonderful wacky zany crazy freaky funky and gigglesome. Yet still I feel a little shit. Meh, I'll work on it.

So, as that crazy cat MCMcC chronicles so well, today was a wednesday, and a pretty damn good one at that. I got in late due to... ahem, well lets just say i was in late. I went to sign in, seeing Dave Olli Lewis and Dan heading toward the maths block. Making a mental note to follow them later, I headed to the reception to sign in. But what a bitch that woman was! Just becuase she couldn't bloody well hear me when I quite clearly stated that Stewart was my surname and not me first name she gives me an ugly look when I say I just overslept and writes with a certain maliciousosity (its a word damn it) 'No excuse'. She even snorted with derision beforehand! BITCH! You're a secretary not the damn Head Of Sixth Form, just 'cos you hold some power you dense woman...

Ahem, anyway. So I went off to try and find everyone, running into Tom on the way. After a cursory search of the Teaching block which was like an empty fruitbowl (fruitless) I caught up with them going to the Atkins Centre and I joined them. After a rather uneventful period of chitchat and Snap I went upstairs to Media, which was possibly the most interesting lesson we've had in a while.

First task was to translate this into standard english:

'My smmr hols wr CWOT. B4, we used 2 go 2 NY 2C my bro, his GF & 3 :-@ kds FTF. ILNY, its gr8. Bt my Ps wr so {:-/ BC o 9/11 tht thay dcdd 2 stay in SCO & spnd 2 wks up N. Up N, WUCIWUG -- 0. I ws vvv brd in MON. 0 bt baas and moos'

Have a go! After that we were asked to get our phones out (the girls shivered with orgasmic symbiotic delight) and put them on the desk. Now, the humour of the situation for me may be lost on some, so I'll provide a picture of my phone:



The 7110. Came out in about 2002 I'm led to believe, though it seems a lot longer. So, when people were getting out their slick and slinky clamshell bluetoothed cameraphones I was sitting proudly with my brick. Indeed, as Father Jack once said:

I LOVE MY BRICK!

We were then asked to list all the features of our phones. Simple one here:

'Paperweight'

About all it does. Next question, 'how well could you cope without your phone for a week?'. Answer: "TAKE IT! PLEASE LET ME BE RID OF IT!" No really, I go upto chavs and ASK them to mug me for my phone. One look and they scarper though.

After that rather jubilant exercise, we were put into to groups of four to come up with our own phone. Since Louis and I were sitting in our own little two, we were matched with Syd and Mandy. Oh...fun! /sarcasm. Still proved to be pretty good. After a little introductory hostility between Syd and myself we got down to work. As usual, me and Louis came up with the important stuff like the design, one feature and the slogan (punned up) while Syd and Mandy came up with the aesthetic stuff. Women...

And so that was media. After break was the rollicking delights of Film, and after watching the rest of Goldfinger we moved onto the end of Billy Elliot, which was of course always a barrel of laughing monkeys. Then English, and MAN can Herbert talk for England?! Mad as the proverbial hatter.

Lunch wasn't overly interesting, which perhaps marked the steady decline of the quality of the day. Form period was close to ritual torture. I wanted to get up there early to read some exam notes, but came into Tyler's room to the rampant sound of Sophie Ellis-Bextor. A little confused, considering Tyler's usual taste in music being smooth jazz (a fact I and Andrew find a great deal of fun in) the shrill female pop tangent he'd taken wasn't something I was expecting. I espied the CD case on the desk, and went to investigate, only to recoil in horror at this sight:



Then, possibly as a serious mistake, I did not turn it off but browsed the track listing:

1. Beyoncé Feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love
2. Girls Aloud - Jump
3. Rachel Stevens - Some Girls
4. Jo Jo - Baby It's U
5. Danni Minogue V Flower Power - Don't You Forget About Me
6. Pink - Get The Party Started (Radio Version)
7. Christina Aguilera - Genie In A Bottle
8. Emma - Maybe
9. Sugababes - Round Round
10. Christina Milian - Am To Pm
11. Lolly - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
12. Las Ketchup - Aserje (The Ketchup Song)
13. Lumidee - Uh Oh Oh
14. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Murder On The Dancefloor
15. Samantha Mumba - Always Come Back To Your Love
16. Daphne & Celeste - U.G.L.Y
17. Jennifer Ellison - Bye Bye Boy
18. I Dream - Dreaming
19. Louise - No Matter What
20. Lmc Vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above

25 minutes of this... Ashley kept himself sane by looking at naked people, most had thier own iPods. I had to resist the urge to paper cut my jugular open with a playing card.

And that was my wednesday. Fun fun fun?

Hm, getting worse...