October 10, 2004

I apologise for the delay of this post, but PhotoBucket was being a moo.
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On friday Dave, Lewis, Baz, The True Dave and I went toodlepipski once again to the merry old captial of this country that is London Town. I got up at 8.45, and was at West Wickham station by 9. After waiting around for a while for the true Dave, I got on the train. After a quick walk around the train, I realised to my vague amusement that I had in fact got on the earlier train. Realising my error, i got off at Eden Park and waited for a quarter of an hour for the correct train to arrive. During this wait I talked to The True Dave on the mobular telephone system, and took a photo of the view from Eden Park station, which looked very nice at that time of morning. I then got on the train, and sat with The True Dave and Jon. As was familiar practise, Dave and Baz got on at Clock House, and we met Lewis at Charing Cross.

After leaving Charing Cross, we walked for a while down the Strand (it wasn't a beach or anything) until we came to Somerset House with it's many itty bitty fountains and Inland Revenue signs. At the back of a statue of some big-wig was Psalm 1v3, whih I thought was interesting even if noone else does.

A further distance along our walk we came to the Royal Courts of Justice. As we continue on our constitutional, we came across a variety of rather amusing things in the various shops and other places. These included the precursor to legal Mp3 downloads, an inexplicably amusing tavern name, Rumpole of the Bailey in mannequin form, some familiar names of publications, one heck of an old cheese, and finally a shop that was both the Nirvana of Jon and the bane of Baz.

We then came to the BBC shop, which had many a brilliant BBC DVD, including Noggin the Nog, The Very Best of Brum and Pogles Wood. NOSTALGIA AHOY! Eventually we came to St Paul's, which some smelly person had drawn on with pencil!!! Turning a corner we came to the wobbly Millenium Bridge. Very nice little bridge it is too. Lewis had a lot of fun slowly trundling down in the lift for disabled people, allowing this very ethereal like piccy to be taken.

This paragraph will make no sense if you aren't my girlfriend, so you might as well skip it. I then walked off from the duds, remembering where I was in relation to the Globe. Ahh, sweet memories, and at least I discovered that the man on the mobile had FINALLY moved his behind elsewhere!!!

Ok anyway. we then decided to cross the bridge, but Baz, Jon and Lewis had decided that going up the stairs to the bridge was far too troublesome, so they took the lift instead (look closely, you can see me with the camera!). As we crossed the bridge, we saw a rather amusing sight... a portaloo... in the middle of the Thames. Once the bridge had been crossed and we had laughed most jovially at the water-loo (thanks for that one Baz hehe!) we entered the Tate modern, in which I found the most ambitious modern art project I'd ever seen. Breathtaking no?

Who donates money to museums? The Tate modern seemed to have got their strategy very wrong. Their donating tin was designed in such a way that it made it look like they had more money than they actually did. Now surely they should have made it look as though they had very little money, so people would feel pity and donate? Pah, I know not. Though it must be said, the Donating tin not only had quite a bit of money in it, it was also much better to look at than the rest of the exhibits...

We then left, after Jon took a photo of some plaque or other. The decision was then made to go to lunch. On our way past the Globe we not only saw more hideous uniforms than my primary school had (I mean it Stompp), but we also say Rik Mayall! I unfortunately got a picture of neither, which was a bit of a moo. As we walked past some market or other, most of our party felt the urge to buy a VERY delicious chocolate brownie (except for Lewis, who bought 3). As we walked past the Clink i took a picture of the dead person (I'm sure he didn't mind) and we then carried on to Lon on Bridge (no kidding) where we got on the tube bound for Charing Cross, in which Dave looked very grumpy, before weilding a fake lightsaber in order to scare me. I was unfazed though. No padawan can go against such a master as I.

After lunch (which was very nice) we went to the science museum, where Mrs Future was being shown the elctric cooking machine while Mr Future came home from work in his helicopter machine. Highly laughable. I then beat the Baz at a game of the original Pong (nostalgia was a high point of this London trip) before we trundled off up the stairs, where I had a sex change from a doctor who obviously had no qualifications, since I ended up looking like a severe traffic accident victim.

7 photos left to go!

As we made to leave the genetics bit, I tripped over a baby that lay cowering on the floor, which thankfully turned out not to be real. Before we went up the stairs to the next bit, I took a photo of what could be should the duds descend to the hellspawn of teenage culture. Look, aren't they menacing? E-e-e-vell! Anyhoo, we then went up the stairs to were there was possibly the reson for the duds existence. Apparantly, the year 2020 (as we were continuously told, ironically since the projector was burning my eyes) is a place where:

  • Men can give birth to babies
  • Nanomachines can attack lung cancer
  • Cars can drive themselves
  • Extinct animals can be brought to life through modern cloning techniques
  • We can determine the sex of our unborn babies
  • Robots look after our children

All these scenarios were played out in the form of jovial games, which were almost educational. Not only did it highlight the pros of these technologies, but also the cons:

  • The men will most certainly die
  • The nanomachines will kill bloodcells as well
  • Cars, like the computers that drive them, crash
  • Most embryos go into oxen or a large wastebin
  • The game is far too confusing to win, unless you're Dave
  • The robots steal the babies' toys, bump them on the head, and break their ankles.

The last one is no joke. We ended up with 15 bumped heads and 11 broken ankles! ON BABIES!!! the robot's jovial smile was very similar to that of a clown's, sinister and almost certainly psychotic. Still, that robot was no better than the babies' parents. Shudder...

The duds had great fun shaping the future using this console, even if it was only to plot major worldwide domination. The future's bright. The future's very blue...

We then left said Science Museum, and went to the Natural History Museum, where we saw a large mass showing cleavage.

After a quick coffee from Starbuck's (darn Americans) and the brownie, we went back to Charing Cross, and for the first time I went home with the duds, as opposed to hanging around London for a time with Sarah. Sadness and depression... And she only gets Martin Layzell as a worship leader! Darn her!!

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In other news, I won me an award! Observerate and admire!

I will try to post all photo requests in the next week people.

G'nine o'clock nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnow!
Valmar

Playing: Killzone
Reading: Blogs
Listening to: "Planet Hell/The Siren" - Nightwish
Watching: Theo being dunked
Annoyed with: THAT tooth!!!
Confused about: MSN being a moose...
Mood: Slightly miserable
Song currently stuck in head: "Mai Ai Hii" - OZone
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'The Siren' - Nightwish

3 comments:

Lewis said...

Great post. Really, I mean it. Also, if you can read this, what the hell is wrong with your MSN?

Jon said...

"On friday Dave, Lewis, Baz, The True Dave and I"

I believe you're forgetting someone!!!!!

And that picture of Richard in the elevator is very good.

Dauve said...

You had a red, blue and green striped uniform?

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

sorry...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

ah, the joys of our former plain green jumper :D