Ooh, is that the new heat?!

It must be noted down that today was not exactly the most exhilerating day of my A2 career. While most of the day itself rested in the realms of mild mediocrity there were standout moments that gave this 24 hour period a definite degree of surrealism. Let's just say that a lot of it was to do with my own ineptitude and idiocy. In fact, if i were to be brutally honest with you, I have handled the day with the same flair for ingenuity as a decomposing mollusc.

Mistaken Belief 1
With the nonexistance of a first period, the subsequent lie-in would in fact benefit me no end, allowing my day to be more relaxed and alert, due to the extra time spent in blissful slumber.

The problem with this one is that I failed to remember that a lie in is only as good as the time spent asleep preceeding it. In short, getting up later doesn't work if you dont lay down earlier in the first place

Mistaken Belief 2
A classy outfit for the day would certainly be all black.

I'm still not quite sure what possessed me into this one. I was groping around for suitable clothes with which to cover my naked form, and picked up one of my black shirts. And a black tie. Now, it is an undeniable fact that I look kickass in black. In a very Maddox sense, in black I beleive that I indeed rule major amounts and look pretty damn spiffy at the same time, although unlike maddox I haven't irritated grandmothers, feminists or the human race; nor am I a pirate, which would rule intensely. Maybe it was me deluding myself that I wanted, nay, needed to look good on this particular Wednesday. Maybe I was still finding it difficult to actually open my eyes and see what I was doing. Or maybe I temporarily forgot all the physics lessons Tyler spent drilling the fact that black radiates heat into my head. Heck, he even said that wearing black clothes on a hot day makes you hotter, but did i care? So today, I wore black and payed insane amounts of hell for it in the comfort factor.
Though, in my own credible defence, I did at least wear light grey socks, so my ankles were kept very comfortable in comparison.

Mistaken Belief 3
A shower in the morning will wash off all grease and dirt from the body, cleansing it and keeping it fresh for the coming productive day.

This one is actually not quite as mindnumbingly stupid as the black suit thing, and may seem to you to not be a mistake, but a lesson in basic hygiene (something I know many of you would like to have words with me about as it is). The reasoning behind the shower was threefold:

1. Get clean
2. Get hair clean
3. Wake up

The second being the important one obviously. However, the problem arose when I remembered that the shower, once complete, leaves the body completely clean and devoid of dirt, and as such a paragon of cleanliness. As such, like Eden, the perfection can only be sullied by more dirt. Now, we have already established that the day was hot, and as such the body will invariably perspire in order to keep itself cool. What I end up with then is MORE grease to replace that which I have just cleaned off. Grease, left in the heat (such as the sun) boils VERY hot.
At least my hair looked good. Style over comfort.
Oh, and if you thought the graphic images of me naked and/or greasy were disturbing, then don't read the above paragraph.

Mistaken Belief 4
The opening sequence to Halloween is scarier when not watched alone

Another mistake. With the addition of nervous 17 year old females it becomes bloody funny.

Mistaken Belief 5
Talking about tennis during a lesson is more fun than talking about football, becuase I actually know some of the people, some of the rules and allows plenty of options to ridicule Henman

I forgot to take into account that tennis is a sport, thus not enjoyable, despite knowing the people, the rules, and how it cannot be, in ANY way "Tim's year"

Mistaken Belief 6
Hot food at midday provides nutrients

True. However, I forgot to remember that hot food is served hot. And on a hot day, in black clothing, it is akin to base jumping naked onto a pavement full of feminists while shouting at them to do the dishes. You ain't gonna live through it, at least not without severe burns.

Mistaken Belief 7
Sleeping in the afternoon will provide more rest, allowing a slight boost in alertness and mood for the day

I forgot the obvious merits of waking up drenched in your own sweat. Which there are none.

Yes, I think thats the heat alright. In other news there was a Channel 4 crew in school filming outside my film room. My corridors gonna be on Tv, maw! Bring on tomorrow...

Charred 'chard

NB: it actually took me three days to realise the above pun was suitable for this weather and could in fact be used without let or hindrance. What is happening to my brain?