I really am going now.
'This is goodbye loves!'
Bye fer a week.
July 25, 2004
July 24, 2004
I rather wish that this blog allowed emoticons. If it did, I'd be there with the ":'(" one held high, no matter what Lynne Truss may say about them being an evil of society.
-
For why is this my dear readers? If you don't know you either haven't talked to me recently, or read my blog or JAJ and Chris's.
I am orf. Like cheese left in the back of the refrigerator, I am going orf. Eventually to come back in a new form (like a fresh block of cheese) in a week. I am orf to London, where the streets are paved with gold (or the next best thing; 'bling') and a man can make his fortune, so long as he has a black cat, and he's in a fairy story.
I've just looked at the last sentence again. OXFORD COMMA!!! I feel so unclean.
So, for a week, adieu and a Christian good readers!
I am taking along a note-book and a pen, with the aim of : keeping myself from going blogger cold turkey and so that when I return I can blog as to my exploits, without having to resort to my failing memory.
See y'all in a week.
Me
PS :
-
For why is this my dear readers? If you don't know you either haven't talked to me recently, or read my blog or JAJ and Chris's.
I am orf. Like cheese left in the back of the refrigerator, I am going orf. Eventually to come back in a new form (like a fresh block of cheese) in a week. I am orf to London, where the streets are paved with gold (or the next best thing; 'bling') and a man can make his fortune, so long as he has a black cat, and he's in a fairy story.
I've just looked at the last sentence again. OXFORD COMMA!!! I feel so unclean.
So, for a week, adieu and a Christian good readers!
I am taking along a note-book and a pen, with the aim of : keeping myself from going blogger cold turkey and so that when I return I can blog as to my exploits, without having to resort to my failing memory.
See y'all in a week.
Me
PS :
July 23, 2004
Hoorah! The bountiful joys of mild food poisoning are lacking! I've eaten my own cooking, and I'm fine!
And this being the technological age it is, I even took a few snaps of the process!
If you see any obvious breaches of basic health and safety, let me know so I at least know what it is I'm dying of.
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0423.jpg
Ok, that ones the ingredients, as the very cheap book I bought yesterday described them :
1 small onion, finely chopped/hacked (I opted for the hacking method for most of this dish)
1 garlic clove, finely chopped/hacked (like the Matrix, very professionally hacked)
2 rashers of streaky bacon, finely chopped/hacked (Like a PC without a firewall. Sans fat of course)
125g of mushrooms, sliced (didn't do so badly here. Though i did buy more when we had some in the fridge...)
150ml can of cream of mushroom soup (had to get 250g. What's that in ml?)
Parsley (too much, not well chopped...)
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0425.jpg
Most of the above, frying gently in 1tbsp of Olive Oil, without soup...
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0426.jpg
...with soup.
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0427.jpg
Soup and frying things simmering gently, parsley added, beside a pan of boilingwater which was supposed to be cooking the tagliatelle.
All this came together to form food fit for a DickyBod:
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0428.jpg
(bad Rolf Harris impression) Can ye tell what it is yet? (/bad Rolf Harris impression)
-
Now to clean up the kitchen. Back in a bit.
Chares
'Cheerd
No wait...
Cheers,
'Chard
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: Eats, Shoots and Leaves
Listening to: Pulp - Disco 2000
Watching: Michelle and Stu in BB having sex... notice they didnt bleep Shell's first ****.
Annoyed with: Being unable to walk to Clock House, only to walk to New Beckenham
Confused about: Not much
Mood: No longer hungry.
And this being the technological age it is, I even took a few snaps of the process!
If you see any obvious breaches of basic health and safety, let me know so I at least know what it is I'm dying of.
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0423.jpg
Ok, that ones the ingredients, as the very cheap book I bought yesterday described them :
1 small onion, finely chopped/hacked (I opted for the hacking method for most of this dish)
1 garlic clove, finely chopped/hacked (like the Matrix, very professionally hacked)
2 rashers of streaky bacon, finely chopped/hacked (Like a PC without a firewall. Sans fat of course)
125g of mushrooms, sliced (didn't do so badly here. Though i did buy more when we had some in the fridge...)
150ml can of cream of mushroom soup (had to get 250g. What's that in ml?)
Parsley (too much, not well chopped...)
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0425.jpg
Most of the above, frying gently in 1tbsp of Olive Oil, without soup...
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0426.jpg
...with soup.
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0427.jpg
Soup and frying things simmering gently, parsley added, beside a pan of boilingwater which was supposed to be cooking the tagliatelle.
All this came together to form food fit for a DickyBod:
http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Valmar/DSCF0428.jpg
(bad Rolf Harris impression) Can ye tell what it is yet? (/bad Rolf Harris impression)
-
Now to clean up the kitchen. Back in a bit.
Chares
'Cheerd
No wait...
Cheers,
'Chard
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: Eats, Shoots and Leaves
Listening to: Pulp - Disco 2000
Watching: Michelle and Stu in BB having sex... notice they didnt bleep Shell's first ****.
Annoyed with: Being unable to walk to Clock House, only to walk to New Beckenham
Confused about: Not much
Mood: No longer hungry.
July 21, 2004
Post 101. And what have i just realised? I've never told you of how this blog came into being!
-
So, we cast our minds back, back through the dark recesses of time. Back to a time when, this blog, and the blogs to which it links, were but a glimmer in the minds of one person. His one MSN conversation, would change life forever.
Let us go back to that conversation. Two people sit hunched over their keyboards. One, Megatrobe. The other, Dickybod...
(For legal reasons, the following dialog is typed by actors)
Jon : Hey, have you seen this site? www.blogger.com
Richard : No, what's this?
Jon : It's sort of like an online diary.
Richard : Hmm, i'll check it out.
A day later, the one named Richard had made his account. Previously dismissing it as a pointless waste of time, he writes his first post on Monday the 16th of February, 2004.
Here follows the original post of the then titled : "The Incredibly Dull Life of Dickybod"
"Well, here is my life. As the name implies it is incredibly dull. I was reccommended to this site by a friend of mine, who would be described in CS circles as l337. Aaaaanyway. Well, me. DickyBod is what most people call me, since that is a derivative of the name Richard and a word apparantly meaning "intelligent." Either way, thats me. Well, i have no idea whats meant to go in this box, so as you can probably tell im just waffling. Hopefully il work out exactly what i should be doing in due course, so my later musings will be more interesting."
While a crude post, it showed the informal style of writing and lack of correct spelling that would come to be trademark of the blog. We drafted in a blog expert to give his interpretations.
"Yes, well as you can see, the author clearly shows his characteristic lack of self esteem, straight from the word go. He refers vaguely to Megatrobe, whom directed him to his blog, using a very crude acknowledgement. He goes on to explain the origins of his name, which i find rather interesting."
And why is that?
"Well, we know from later blogs that, while his original readers where simply his schoolfriends, we are now aware of the huge amount of people that have read the blog since. The fact that he seems to feel the need to explain his nickname to his audience shows that he was well aware of the massive fanbase that the blog had the potential of knowing."
But it was his tenth post, on the 21st of February that truly began to show the beginnings of the current format of the blog, and also showed the first major use of Richard's primary skill: Humour. His over the top writing and surreal post was only a taste of the wit that was to come.
-
While the Dickybod took shape over the weeks, other blogs were simultaneously growing alongside it. The same day as the DickyBlog's first post, TeraDud posted for the first time, with the original blogger Megatrobe posting the previous day. Thursday, February the 19th saw Nonnesuch begin his rantings On the 21st of February, Deutsches Dave posted the first of his many posts focusing on anger, and hatred toward the world. With each new blog, a new link appeared on the growing sidebar of the blog. Currently, 16 blogs hold a place in the links section of the sidebar, a number expected to grow as time continues.
With blog posts becoming more sophisticated and lengthy, the blog began to really make it's mark. The posts of February 22nd showing not only a brief stint into the rant culture the blogs had taken, but also marked one of the longest posts in the blog's history, only to be beaten 3 days later with a recitation of Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Raven'.
The next major addition to the blog's sidebar was the counter, currently at just over 2500 hits, and a MIDI file, both added on March 10th. March however showed signs that the author was eakening in the demand for more posts. gaps of almost a week between posts, these long gaps rocked the blogging world with the possibility that the blog could dwindle into nothingness.
"I was worried. The blog had been an entertaining read from it's first day. Every day i would see no new post, and, yeh i panicked. I cried some nights, I'm not ashamed to admit it" - Taken from Bloggers Monthly April
Posts were seemingly becoming nothing but a few sentences or a meaningless list, and the blog began to lose some of it's fanbase.
"I just thought he woz gettin' lay zee, innit, cos like e wernet postin at all and it was all crap really"
This trend however did not seem to be confined to the DickyBlog however. On March the 28th he posted his frustration at his friends for not posting on their blogs:
"OK, a short post now. GUYS BLOG!! The best maintained blog i have seen is Stompp's, who has posted every day of his blog! Come on guys, he already overtaken Nonnesuch!!These people MUST post in the next 48 hours, or they shall be brutally bished:
Megatrobe
Teradud (who must also shut that bloodt cantina up, before i send ETA there)
Nonnesuch
Wendy
GO GO GO!!!"
When it was pointed out to him that he had himself been neglecting his blog, it shocked him:
(Speaking in April)
"Yeh, it really did open my eyes to my failings. I re read my entire blog, and saw how hypocritical i had been. I knew i needed a post. A LONG post"
The next day he posted one of the longest posts of the blog. It reestablished his original wit, and showed the first use of spontaneity in a post. This trend would continue over the months.
-
By this time more and more blogs had been added to the sidebar: Stompp's on the 17th of March, Electricity's on the 8th of April, and Wendy's on the 10th of March. We managed to secure an interview with Stompp (author of one helluva good blog!) regarding the DickyBlog:
When did you first hear of the DickyBlog?
I first heard of the DickyBlog whilst riding through the vast expanses of haunted beauty that is the online world. As I stared out of the cybernetic window, I cought a brief glimpse of a fair haired lad calling to me. Waving. Smiling. Blood gushing from my partners wounds I saw no other choice but to abandon ship, and I decided to brave the depths of blog land and actually read the damn thing.
Why were you so drawn to reading it?
I was so drawn to reading it because I have been hypnotised. I must be quick folks, for the hypnotics will kick back in soon, but don't read it, it's all a conspiracy, and ... and... and really the fact that it's so well written, with such superb quips and witicisms that it caught my eye. There are few blogs written with such fine and loving attention to miniscule detail as the DickyBlog.
Why did you eventually make your own?
I eventually made my own because I was planning to do it sooner and forgot. I made the damn thing because I believe there are things that just have to be said. Are you one of the many members of society ill-informed as to the various forms of spuds? Then take a gander at my blog, and listen to my music while you're at it dammit..[Mutley-esque growls and muffles of evil plans followed by Copyrighted (TM) laugh...]
(Many thanks to Stompp)
-
Thus, we come to the end of our exploration of one of the most remarkable blogs in the history of the site. At 101 posts, 2661 hits, 25 exterior links, 82 comments, 4 average posts a week, 95 profile views, 33630 words, and two fiction blogs, the DickyBlog will be around for a while.
-
Why do I feel like crying? Thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Thanks to TeraDud who consistently bugged me to blog, thanks to fpoole for being the only one behind Da Croo, thanks to Megatrobe for introducing me to the blogging world and help with the HTML, thanks to mum for spreading it like a virus around her workplace, thanks to Sarah for plagerising my name and reading my blog when she should have been revising, thanks to Electricity for letting me screw up her other blog with my crap fiction, thanks to Wendy for that Beckham joke, thanks to Chris and JAJ for being the critical people they are, while still being sheep and blogging too, thanks to mum and dad for combining their chromosomes and making me what i am, thanks to my mind for thinking up half of these posts and making me the wierd person i am, thanks to Microsoft for Windows Media Player, MSN and Internet Explorer, without which this would be impossible to write, thanks to Stompp for waiting for over an hour and a half for this post, thanks also to him for the track he's sending me and the interview above, thanks to uk.playstation.com's Shadow for the signature idea and thanks to blogger.com for providing one hell of a service and not shutting me down, and thanks to all the insane people who have commented.
Whoever you are, if you're reading this, thank you, God bless, dont stop reading this! I'm doing this for you guys! Thanks for giving me something to do with myself!!
THANK YOU!!!
DickyBod/'Chard/Richard
1st off, this is my 100th post. All hail the me.
-
2nd off, new blog, to the right. Not strictly new, it's been aound for a while, but I never got around to linking it. I really should read it, i'm a bit behind on it. Anyway, to the right. Some will know him becuase they commented on their blogs, so welcome to the DickyBlog fpoole.
-
3rd off, Beep
-
4th off, Welcome back Electricity. Don't hurt me too much.
-
5th off, profile will soon be sorted for the benefit of my mother.
-
6th off, i may take a while to think of a point to this post.
-
7th off, just recieved an email! Oooh that could be my muse!
-
8th off, the post :
Spam Emails.
Aren't these things great?
Stupidly Personal Annoying Messages
Silly People Asking for Money
Slightly Presumptious Advertising Methods
Sole Ploy At Marketing
Whatever you call them, they always seem to infest my inbox. At the moment I have 5, from these people:
From - : :beH:ung4Girls
Subject - : : WI:SHYO:UCOU:LD: : :F:IL:LH:ER:UP: : ...
Seemingly offering capital punishment in a martriarchal state. I'm not even going to begin interpreting the subject...
From - Dong Kathi
Subject - hi
Well, hello Dong! You don't know anyone called Ding by any chance do you?
From - Ed Jeffers
Subject - Gtn.PhJ1m
At least this one has a reasonable name. Not too sure what the subject is meant to be though...
From - Jeanene Sarai
Subject - hi
Same subject as Dongy boy! Hello :D
From - Professional C:onsol...
Subject - Single Payment
Ah, the obligatory insurance broker Spam Email. Love them :D
Ok, now lets check my deleted files! Lets see what else I have that can be related to a pink meaty foodstuff.
Aaron
won't be long and this RX will be gone..
Eliminator
Cancel all Card Payments Now
Humberto Winston
improve yourself
Jammie Macaluso
Shopping for mortgages made easy
Joan Bowman
Re: it be? . ..'
Jolene Macias
GMn. Ph9Im
Juliana Mcfarland
GBZn. PhTNm
Margarito Babcock
incremase your sizee today topochemical
Normand Street
Why is Paracodin better aaxef than vic0di...
Rhoda Newsome
GLn. PhWm
Tommy Frye
chargeable
*sigh* All utter rubbish really.
Though, what was quite strange was that last night I was conversing wit' one o' meh homies who was rather doon in the dumps. anyway, after some really unhelpful attempts at comfort from the me, the therapeutic value of insulting me was discovered.This calls for some spam emails!
DickyBod's Therapy!
For only $29.99 a month, you can be the proud owner of my email address! With the easy to use service, all that needs to be done is to insult me via the messaging service, and the feeling of hitting downwards will alleviate all your worries! So pay noW!
So anyway, with the other person moderatly cheered up,
-
STOP PRESS!! I just recieved an email from Stacy Lupiani!!! SPAM!
-
Sorry about that. With the other person cheered up, i then recieved an email from : 'better.mood'
How apt :D
-
Well, random witterences over. Thank you for putting up with 100 posts of inane drivel!
-
Oh, in other news, KH Sephiroth done and dusted. If you don't know what that means, it doesn't apply.
G'night
'Chard
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: The History of the Executioner
Listening to: John Williams - The Battle of Yavin
Watching: Spaceballs
Annoyed with: Very little
Confused about: Why i havent put on any socks today...
Mood: Rather hot. Darn humidity
-
2nd off, new blog, to the right. Not strictly new, it's been aound for a while, but I never got around to linking it. I really should read it, i'm a bit behind on it. Anyway, to the right. Some will know him becuase they commented on their blogs, so welcome to the DickyBlog fpoole.
-
3rd off, Beep
-
4th off, Welcome back Electricity. Don't hurt me too much.
-
5th off, profile will soon be sorted for the benefit of my mother.
-
6th off, i may take a while to think of a point to this post.
-
7th off, just recieved an email! Oooh that could be my muse!
-
8th off, the post :
Spam Emails.
Aren't these things great?
Stupidly Personal Annoying Messages
Silly People Asking for Money
Slightly Presumptious Advertising Methods
Sole Ploy At Marketing
Whatever you call them, they always seem to infest my inbox. At the moment I have 5, from these people:
From - : :beH:ung4Girls
Subject - : : WI:SHYO:UCOU:LD: : :F:IL:LH:ER:UP: : ...
Seemingly offering capital punishment in a martriarchal state. I'm not even going to begin interpreting the subject...
From - Dong Kathi
Subject - hi
Well, hello Dong! You don't know anyone called Ding by any chance do you?
From - Ed Jeffers
Subject - Gtn.PhJ1m
At least this one has a reasonable name. Not too sure what the subject is meant to be though...
From - Jeanene Sarai
Subject - hi
Same subject as Dongy boy! Hello :D
From - Professional C:onsol...
Subject - Single Payment
Ah, the obligatory insurance broker Spam Email. Love them :D
Ok, now lets check my deleted files! Lets see what else I have that can be related to a pink meaty foodstuff.
Aaron
won't be long and this RX will be gone..
Eliminator
Cancel all Card Payments Now
Humberto Winston
improve yourself
Jammie Macaluso
Shopping for mortgages made easy
Joan Bowman
Re: it be? . ..'
Jolene Macias
GMn. Ph9Im
Juliana Mcfarland
GBZn. PhTNm
Margarito Babcock
incremase your sizee today topochemical
Normand Street
Why is Paracodin better aaxef than vic0di...
Rhoda Newsome
GLn. PhWm
Tommy Frye
chargeable
*sigh* All utter rubbish really.
Though, what was quite strange was that last night I was conversing wit' one o' meh homies who was rather doon in the dumps. anyway, after some really unhelpful attempts at comfort from the me, the therapeutic value of insulting me was discovered.This calls for some spam emails!
DickyBod's Therapy!
For only $29.99 a month, you can be the proud owner of my email address! With the easy to use service, all that needs to be done is to insult me via the messaging service, and the feeling of hitting downwards will alleviate all your worries! So pay noW!
So anyway, with the other person moderatly cheered up,
-
STOP PRESS!! I just recieved an email from Stacy Lupiani!!! SPAM!
-
Sorry about that. With the other person cheered up, i then recieved an email from : 'better.mood'
How apt :D
-
Well, random witterences over. Thank you for putting up with 100 posts of inane drivel!
-
Oh, in other news, KH Sephiroth done and dusted. If you don't know what that means, it doesn't apply.
G'night
'Chard
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: The History of the Executioner
Listening to: John Williams - The Battle of Yavin
Watching: Spaceballs
Annoyed with: Very little
Confused about: Why i havent put on any socks today...
Mood: Rather hot. Darn humidity
July 19, 2004
Why is everyone in this little blog community suddenly so morbid/cynical/pissed off?
Believe it or not that includes the non-duds. Come on people lighten up a little? I've got one more week in front of this PC, before i leave for a week, and I'd rather like to see some sunshine (in a metaphorical sense. In a meteoralogical sense i'd much rather have rain.).
-
I suppose i can't type, i've had very little utmost joy for a while, and cynism reigns supreme at the moment. Boredom is another thing. I don't know why, but i seem to be rather bored. I'm really qute longing to be amongst the violent street gangs, if just for a little excitement. Hopefully there'll be some fences to paint so I can watch it dry. That would be quite fun. (see; cynism.)
-
So what is next week? It's moderatly hinted at in my brothers blog and the Blog of the JAJ. Soul in the City. Nope. Not just any old city, THE city. Old london town. the place most odf us inhabit. You know, the cesspool that contains the deeper cesspool of british government. The hive of Capital radio. the place immortalised in that rather optimistic song "London Bridge is falling down due to a terrorist action that probably will be nothing to do with Al-Qaeda, but we'll say it does so we can invade another country." London. And why am I spending a week there? No idea.
I think it runs along the loins of going into these various areas in london, camping there amongst the sirens and smog and going out in groups on various projects and cleaning up the community in the name of Jesus. Yup, religious theme here guys.
-
Well, once thats done and dusted I'm home for a week. A week in which you can expect to see a blog or two, before i'm off for two weeks to... (brace yourself) SOMERSET!!! The haven of the best regional accent in the country. ONce again, in the name of religion. Fun...fun...fun...
-
So, cheer up people, and i might too.
G'twenty seven minutes past 6 in the afternoon/evening of the 19th of July 2004
'chard
Believe it or not that includes the non-duds. Come on people lighten up a little? I've got one more week in front of this PC, before i leave for a week, and I'd rather like to see some sunshine (in a metaphorical sense. In a meteoralogical sense i'd much rather have rain.).
-
I suppose i can't type, i've had very little utmost joy for a while, and cynism reigns supreme at the moment. Boredom is another thing. I don't know why, but i seem to be rather bored. I'm really qute longing to be amongst the violent street gangs, if just for a little excitement. Hopefully there'll be some fences to paint so I can watch it dry. That would be quite fun. (see; cynism.)
-
So what is next week? It's moderatly hinted at in my brothers blog and the Blog of the JAJ. Soul in the City. Nope. Not just any old city, THE city. Old london town. the place most odf us inhabit. You know, the cesspool that contains the deeper cesspool of british government. The hive of Capital radio. the place immortalised in that rather optimistic song "London Bridge is falling down due to a terrorist action that probably will be nothing to do with Al-Qaeda, but we'll say it does so we can invade another country." London. And why am I spending a week there? No idea.
I think it runs along the loins of going into these various areas in london, camping there amongst the sirens and smog and going out in groups on various projects and cleaning up the community in the name of Jesus. Yup, religious theme here guys.
-
Well, once thats done and dusted I'm home for a week. A week in which you can expect to see a blog or two, before i'm off for two weeks to... (brace yourself) SOMERSET!!! The haven of the best regional accent in the country. ONce again, in the name of religion. Fun...fun...fun...
-
So, cheer up people, and i might too.
G'twenty seven minutes past 6 in the afternoon/evening of the 19th of July 2004
'chard
July 16, 2004
Whoa!!! What on earth has happened to this page? For those of you that don't have a blog, get one. No, seriously... this box in which I write my various thoughts, muses and general witty comments seems to have gone on a bit of a moosey moment and added some nice pretty buttons. OOH!! Text colour! Must...resist...fiddling...with...colour...
-
Well, that initial shock over, I can now continue in a dignified manner. Ooh look! Green!! Hehehehehee!!! Madnes!!! Webgins!!! ('Madness, Webdings')
I am so blooming sad. Oops, what font was I using? See, it's usually arial, but it seems not to be... Courier? Georgia? Ooh yes, Georgia. Ok, stop fiddling now...
-
-
Well, that initial shock over, I can now continue in a dignified manner. Ooh look! Green!! Hehehehehee!!! Madnes!!! Webgins!!! ('Madness, Webdings')
I am so blooming sad. Oops, what font was I using? See, it's usually arial, but it seems not to be... Courier? Georgia? Ooh yes, Georgia. Ok, stop fiddling now...
-
- BULLET POINTS!!! Wow! How damn cool is this!!!
- Rock
- on
- people.
- Mum,
- I'll
- sort
- that
- pic
- out!
-
Right, seriousness now.
...sorry, couldnt resist :D
-
For the past two days, I have had two different songs stuck in my head, which are:
- Utada Hikaru - "Simple and Clean"
- Blondie - "Maria" (And ye that played this to me: It's your fault! You know who you are!)
Now, I have hypothesised the only cure for a song that is stuck in one's head (other than inflicting it on others) is to get and even more annoying song in there. So, there's me watching some wierd program about 1998's music on ITV, and they play only 10 seconds of that drearie Spice Girls song "Viva Forever", (which has the freakiest video...) and IMMEDIATLY it's in my head. So I'm repeatedly playing the above 2 songs, in order to try and cram them back in. It seems my remedy works too well...
-
I went down the road today, to one of West Wickham's many corner shops that aren't actually on a corner, in order to buy myself the new PS2 magazine. Here's how it went. Bullet point style!! I do love these :D
- I pick up the money
- I put money in pocket
- I open front door
- I pick up my house keys
- I walk out of the door
- I close front door.
All good. All except for one small detail. Highlight that blank bullet point and you'll see what it was I forgot to do.
Yes, I forgot to pick up my keys. And, like all instances when this has occured to anyone in the world, when did I realise this? The exact moment the door closed. Oh life...
So anyway, I went down to the shop, bought my magazine, had a good old laugh with the shopkeeper regarding my predicament and strolled home, thinking wildly as to how I was going to get in, save waiting 5 hours for mum to get home (possibly more since she needs to pick up her car today). So, i knock on the neighbours door, smile sweetly (yet grotesquely) and ask if I could use their garden for a moment. A quick leap over the fence, and I'm over the fence. In my own garden. Now the moment of truth: is the back door unlocked?
No. Not even a electronic sausage.
Luckily, seemingly prepared for every eventuality, I have reading material! After reading the magazine and realising that there is a long wait ahead, I decide to try and get in. Luckily, I don't go hungry due to a free packet of Peanut Eminems with the magazine, which I manage to eat one of before I remember how much I hate them. So, utilising a bamboo cane and the catflap, and under the bemused gazes of two of my cats that had come to have a watch, I set about trying to get the back door key from on top of the fridge. And, since I am currently blogging, you can probably guess that I managed to do it. Ah joy!
That was my fun for the morning, and provided a nice little muse to blog. Which I'm sure you're all grateful for.
-
14 minutes and 57 seconds after having got into the house (possibly a bit more, but that's how long the Killzone trailer was) i remembered what it was I was going to blog about. So i was locked in a struggle of the brain trying to decide which to blog about. Being locked out or Yellow Car? Simple answer: Both. Have fun on the next paragraph!
-
Yellow Car. A game that seems to have spread to an extraordinary degree since it was first introduced to me by a dimunitive little imp being named Edward. A game which has steadily grown more and more violent and frequent in happening with the emergence of more and more yellow cars on the road. So how does it work? Simple. Here I have faithfully reproduced a segment from my soon to be released book, which discusses the game. Have fun.
-
"'chard's Yellow Car Guide for Unintelligent Cretins"
A fun little game to be played whenever you are travelling, be it on foot, by car or by sea (though by sea this game becomes harder, due to lack of main roads on the open sea.)
The rules are simple, and will be explained with the help of my good friend, Ted. Hello Ted!
o/ Hello Richard! Gee, it's swell to be here!
/
/\
Shut up Ted. ASCII art doesn't talk like a 1930's spoiled brat.
0 Is it 'coz I is QWERTY?
<>
/\
Get on with the damn rules Ted... or i'll go backspace on your pipeshift be-hind
(This goes on for a while. Eventually Ted gets a bit-part in an upcoming flash animation, leaving me on my own. Lets continue with the book extract.)
The game can be played between any number of players. Whenever a yellow CAR is seen, the players must be the first to cry out "YELLOW CAR" and whack one of his compatriots on the arm. It cannot be stressed that it must be a CAR. Not a van, not a bike, not even a indicator light. the car must be undisputedly yellow.
-
A fun game I'm sure you'll agree. If playing in a car, don't punch the driver. I cannot be held responsible for your stupidity.
"'chard's Yellow Car Guide for Unintelligent Cretins" is out on August 5th, priced £59.99, from all obscure bookstores.
-
Well, thats that. Have fun people!
G'Mid afternoon
'Chard
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: OPS2M #49
Listening to: Utada Hikaru - Simple and Clean
Watching: Derren Brown's Russian Roulette Reloaded
Annoyed with: My stupidity earlier
Confused about: Why the hell I put ASCII in my blog...
Mood: Rather giggly
July 12, 2004
Was shown this by 'trobe. Faithfully reproduced here :D
F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng
[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"
Bilbo has left the server
Frodo: "***!?"
[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
Bilbo: "ok"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire
**Later
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
Frodo: "***?"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire
[At Isengard]
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
Gandalf: "***?!"
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
Saruman: "Pwned!"
[on the road to Bree]
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
Frodo: "Ph34r!"
Sam: "Shrooms!"
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"
[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"
[at Weathertop]
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"
**the black riders attack
Merry: "OMG!!!"
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
Pippin: "***"
Frodo has left the server
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "***... hax!"
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "
[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?"
Sam: "teh leet Hax0r "
Arwen: "Firewall?"
**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"
[at the Council of Elrond]
Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"
Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"
Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"
Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
Elrond: "**sigh, noob"
[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"
Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"
Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"
Frodo: "sif!"
Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"
[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!"
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"
**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"
Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"
Gimli votes to change map to Moria
Votes 4 of 4 required
Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"
[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"
Boromir: "GL HF"
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
Legolas [arrow] guardian
Gandalf: "gg"
[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"
**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
Gandalf: "teh bookz0r has some clues!"
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"
Merry: "d'oh"
**The fellowship hears the ork drums
Boromir: "***?"
Aragorn: "***?"
Frodo: "..."
Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"
**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come
Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
ork: "OMG! h4x!"
Gimli: "pwned"!
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas: "lol!!"
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli: "Foos!" Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "ffs, wallhax!"
**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors
Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"
Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"
Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"
**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo
Sam: "OMG!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"
**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head
Legolas [arrow] cavetroll
Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"
Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"
**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks
Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!"
**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw
Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.
Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "AIMBOT!"
ork: "turn it off!"
Legolas: "lolol!"
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "***?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, noob"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass
Gandalf has left the server
Balrog has disconnected
[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]
**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel
Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"
Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"
Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"
[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]
Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"
uruk hai: "leet!"
[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!"
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
Frodo: "STFU noob"
Frodo has left the server
Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"
**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Boromir: "****ing campers"
**Aragorn comes across the battle
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!"
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
**Aragorn goes to Boromir
Boromir: "Damn lag!"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Boromir has disconnected
Aragorn: "FFS!"
[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]
Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!"
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"
Sam: "Sif!"
Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!"
3Nd!!!!11
F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng
[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"
Bilbo has left the server
Frodo: "***!?"
[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
Bilbo: "ok"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire
**Later
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
Frodo: "***?"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire
[At Isengard]
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
Gandalf: "***?!"
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
Saruman: "Pwned!"
[on the road to Bree]
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
Frodo: "Ph34r!"
Sam: "Shrooms!"
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"
[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"
[at Weathertop]
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"
**the black riders attack
Merry: "OMG!!!"
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
Pippin: "***"
Frodo has left the server
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "***... hax!"
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "
[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?"
Sam: "teh leet Hax0r "
Arwen: "Firewall?"
**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"
[at the Council of Elrond]
Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"
Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"
Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"
Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
Elrond: "**sigh, noob"
[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"
Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"
Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"
Frodo: "sif!"
Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"
[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!"
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"
**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"
Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"
Gimli votes to change map to Moria
Votes 4 of 4 required
Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"
[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"
Boromir: "GL HF"
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
Legolas [arrow] guardian
Gandalf: "gg"
[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"
**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
Gandalf: "teh bookz0r has some clues!"
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"
Merry: "d'oh"
**The fellowship hears the ork drums
Boromir: "***?"
Aragorn: "***?"
Frodo: "..."
Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"
**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come
Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
ork: "OMG! h4x!"
Gimli: "pwned"!
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas: "lol!!"
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli: "Foos!" Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "ffs, wallhax!"
**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors
Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"
Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"
Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"
**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo
Sam: "OMG!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"
**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head
Legolas [arrow] cavetroll
Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"
Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"
**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks
Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!"
**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw
Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.
Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "AIMBOT!"
ork: "turn it off!"
Legolas: "lolol!"
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "***?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, noob"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass
Gandalf has left the server
Balrog has disconnected
[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]
**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel
Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"
Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"
Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"
[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]
Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"
uruk hai: "leet!"
[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!"
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
Frodo: "STFU noob"
Frodo has left the server
Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"
**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Boromir: "****ing campers"
**Aragorn comes across the battle
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!"
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
**Aragorn goes to Boromir
Boromir: "Damn lag!"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Boromir has disconnected
Aragorn: "FFS!"
[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]
Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!"
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"
Sam: "Sif!"
Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!"
3Nd!!!!11
July 10, 2004
Ok, 95th post. I draw rapdly closer to another benchmark! When i learn to speel proberly and make my i's capitalised automatically i will have reached two more. Ooh fun fun fun!
-
I'm being told that i looked very nice in the shop and could be taken home for a mere £25. You dont get that value in Soho.
-
So anyway, what has happened recently? Last night I went to see the Langley Park production of West Side Story staring Ashley Watson as Tony, Doug Matthews (stealing the show) as Juan and various other people i didnt know. Very swish though. Mum was cringing at every song. I may buy some and annoy her with them. Just like Milk and Cereal.
I feel pretteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Oh so pretteeeeeeeeeeeeeey!
-
Speaking of mum, she was in a HORRIFIC car accident on Wednesday. Her door buckled and she had a slight bump on her knee. Fun fun fun. I have the pictures if you want.
-
Erm, what else... Not much actually.
Fun fun fun :D
G'early evening
'chard
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: The Catcher in the Rye (remember that one Duds?)
Listening to: Nightwish - "Two for Tragedy"
Watching: Sarah giggling like a mad person
Annoyed with: The shortness of the rain
Confused about: God's toothpaste
Mood: Pretteeeeeeey! Oh so pretteeeeeeey!
-
I'm being told that i looked very nice in the shop and could be taken home for a mere £25. You dont get that value in Soho.
-
So anyway, what has happened recently? Last night I went to see the Langley Park production of West Side Story staring Ashley Watson as Tony, Doug Matthews (stealing the show) as Juan and various other people i didnt know. Very swish though. Mum was cringing at every song. I may buy some and annoy her with them. Just like Milk and Cereal.
I feel pretteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Oh so pretteeeeeeeeeeeeeey!
-
Speaking of mum, she was in a HORRIFIC car accident on Wednesday. Her door buckled and she had a slight bump on her knee. Fun fun fun. I have the pictures if you want.
-
Erm, what else... Not much actually.
Fun fun fun :D
G'early evening
'chard
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: The Catcher in the Rye (remember that one Duds?)
Listening to: Nightwish - "Two for Tragedy"
Watching: Sarah giggling like a mad person
Annoyed with: The shortness of the rain
Confused about: God's toothpaste
Mood: Pretteeeeeeey! Oh so pretteeeeeeey!
July 06, 2004
If unemployment is this boring I need a job and fast. Even though in three weeks I'm not here to be able to do it, but you catch my drift.
-
Not very many blogs of late, but that's simply because since last Thursday only one thing of interest happened (to me at least. Everyone else seems to be having a good time). And I suppose I had best talk about that first.
-
So, Shrek 2. A fairytale too far. The Brothers Grimm Strike Back. Return of the Muffin Man.
Since I get read by those who will have seen this film and those that will not have, I must hold stoically to my pledge not to give away any important details in the plot, you know, in that non-n00bish way that looks out for fellow internet users and observes common courtesy. So, no spoilers.
After Shrek and Fiona are married, Shrek begins receiving strange messages from an unknown sender. Finally, he is brought before Morpheus, a man well known to Shrek, who tells him that the real world is nothing but an extravagant prison constructed to siphon energy from sleeping humans in a nightmarish machine controlled future. Shrek then must fight to free mankind from this prison: "The Matrix", for he is the prophesised chosen one, "The One" who will bring about the end of the war between Zion and the Machine City, 01.
Aided by Fiona, the wise-cracking Donkey and Puss-In-Boots, Shrek sets forth to learn the truth about himself and to answer the question, "What is the Matrix?".
'A masterpiece! The Wachowski Brothers...make a...good...film!' Cynical Monthly - 9/10
'8/10' Stupidity Weekly - 9/10
'Better than a game of Paper-Rock-Saddam' - Saddam Hussien, exleader of Iraqi Regime - 8/10
'Idiotic tripe. I've vomited better material than this, and it is not worthy to be called a film!' - Alternative Opinion Magazine - 34%
'Meh' - MTV Generation Weekly - 5/10
-
Well I hope that helps everyone. In truth the film has very little to do with the Matrix, though actor Mike Myers insisted that it was his idea originally to do a Matrix Parody with Shrek:
"It was my idea originally to do a Matrix Parody with Shrek" - Mike Myers
Or maybe not.
-
The film essentially crosses the characters and animation of the original film with 'Meet the Parents'. Shrek and Fiona are summoned by Fiona's parents in celebration of her marriage, unaware that she has married an ogre, as opposed to the dashing Farquaad lookalike Prince Charming.
While this serves for the first 30 minutes, I didn't see how they could stretch this film very much further along the same vein and still keep it as entertaining. Thankfully some very unexpected moments appear to keep the plot going along to a fantastic finish (stick around after the credits start!). There are enough laughs along the way, and a lot of notable cameo's to look out for (Jonathan Ross being a very easy one) and plenty of film references to keep the adults laughing along with the kids.
What was quite surprising was the amount of adult humour in the film! Most of the film references wouldn't have been so obvious to the younger viewers, but some of the innuendo went right over their little moppety heads. Rather risque, but having read a few fairy tales again, I have to admit they can be a little X rated themselves...
Once again though, the entire film was stolen by the supporting character. In the first film it was Donkey. In this it was Puss-In-Boots, who doesn't even have to try to steal the show, he just does. 1 single camera shot does it, and when you see it you'll know what I mean. Cuteness overload!
-
Well there ya go; Shrek 2.
'Better than the original!' - Dickybod
Thats one review that won't be on the DVD case.
-
Hang on, if 'was not' is 'wasn't', and 'does not' is 'doesn't', shouldn't 'will not' be 'willn't', not 'won't'? Meh, random thought.
-
As for the weekend, nothing really happened, though we did go out for dinner with my grandmother, because it was her birthday this week, so that was nice. Got a good photo of my dad in silly glasses! Think Mrs. Doyle.
-
Who was Mrs. Doyle married to?
-
Well, thats about me. While my friends have had interesting things going on (trips to London, balls, MSN conversations) I have had boredom and lack of fun.
Maybe I should take March 17th's blog's advice.
"also dude get a girlfriend its more fun than any ps2 game if you like each other enough."
G'night
DickyBod
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: The McAtrix Derided
Listening to: G.Love and the Special Sauce - "Milk And Cereal"
Watching: MTV Movie Awards 2003 Matrix - 'But please, call me Larry'
Annoyed with: My Neighbour :P
Confused about: Milk and Cereal or Toast?
Mood: Happy, surrrrrrrreal!
-
Not very many blogs of late, but that's simply because since last Thursday only one thing of interest happened (to me at least. Everyone else seems to be having a good time). And I suppose I had best talk about that first.
-
So, Shrek 2. A fairytale too far. The Brothers Grimm Strike Back. Return of the Muffin Man.
Since I get read by those who will have seen this film and those that will not have, I must hold stoically to my pledge not to give away any important details in the plot, you know, in that non-n00bish way that looks out for fellow internet users and observes common courtesy. So, no spoilers.
After Shrek and Fiona are married, Shrek begins receiving strange messages from an unknown sender. Finally, he is brought before Morpheus, a man well known to Shrek, who tells him that the real world is nothing but an extravagant prison constructed to siphon energy from sleeping humans in a nightmarish machine controlled future. Shrek then must fight to free mankind from this prison: "The Matrix", for he is the prophesised chosen one, "The One" who will bring about the end of the war between Zion and the Machine City, 01.
Aided by Fiona, the wise-cracking Donkey and Puss-In-Boots, Shrek sets forth to learn the truth about himself and to answer the question, "What is the Matrix?".
'A masterpiece! The Wachowski Brothers...make a...good...film!' Cynical Monthly - 9/10
'8/10' Stupidity Weekly - 9/10
'Better than a game of Paper-Rock-Saddam' - Saddam Hussien, exleader of Iraqi Regime - 8/10
'Idiotic tripe. I've vomited better material than this, and it is not worthy to be called a film!' - Alternative Opinion Magazine - 34%
'Meh' - MTV Generation Weekly - 5/10
-
Well I hope that helps everyone. In truth the film has very little to do with the Matrix, though actor Mike Myers insisted that it was his idea originally to do a Matrix Parody with Shrek:
"It was my idea originally to do a Matrix Parody with Shrek" - Mike Myers
Or maybe not.
-
The film essentially crosses the characters and animation of the original film with 'Meet the Parents'. Shrek and Fiona are summoned by Fiona's parents in celebration of her marriage, unaware that she has married an ogre, as opposed to the dashing Farquaad lookalike Prince Charming.
While this serves for the first 30 minutes, I didn't see how they could stretch this film very much further along the same vein and still keep it as entertaining. Thankfully some very unexpected moments appear to keep the plot going along to a fantastic finish (stick around after the credits start!). There are enough laughs along the way, and a lot of notable cameo's to look out for (Jonathan Ross being a very easy one) and plenty of film references to keep the adults laughing along with the kids.
What was quite surprising was the amount of adult humour in the film! Most of the film references wouldn't have been so obvious to the younger viewers, but some of the innuendo went right over their little moppety heads. Rather risque, but having read a few fairy tales again, I have to admit they can be a little X rated themselves...
Once again though, the entire film was stolen by the supporting character. In the first film it was Donkey. In this it was Puss-In-Boots, who doesn't even have to try to steal the show, he just does. 1 single camera shot does it, and when you see it you'll know what I mean. Cuteness overload!
-
Well there ya go; Shrek 2.
'Better than the original!' - Dickybod
Thats one review that won't be on the DVD case.
-
Hang on, if 'was not' is 'wasn't', and 'does not' is 'doesn't', shouldn't 'will not' be 'willn't', not 'won't'? Meh, random thought.
-
As for the weekend, nothing really happened, though we did go out for dinner with my grandmother, because it was her birthday this week, so that was nice. Got a good photo of my dad in silly glasses! Think Mrs. Doyle.
-
Who was Mrs. Doyle married to?
-
Well, thats about me. While my friends have had interesting things going on (trips to London, balls, MSN conversations) I have had boredom and lack of fun.
Maybe I should take March 17th's blog's advice.
"also dude get a girlfriend its more fun than any ps2 game if you like each other enough."
G'night
DickyBod
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: The McAtrix Derided
Listening to: G.Love and the Special Sauce - "Milk And Cereal"
Watching: MTV Movie Awards 2003 Matrix - 'But please, call me Larry'
Annoyed with: My Neighbour :P
Confused about: Milk and Cereal or Toast?
Mood: Happy, surrrrrrrreal!
July 01, 2004
Soooooo what goes down in the land of the DickyBod? (no dirty answers than you very much... you people..)
-
Been an eventful day. Not only have I beaten TeraDud in his reading of the Harry Potter books, finally bought Stupid White Men, BUT i also had to have blu-tac stuck to my teeth for a while today. God i want that dentist shot...
-
Went to Bromley today. Not only could I not find the Piggyback Strategy Guide to Kingdom Hearts anywhere, but I couldnt even find Eats(,) Shoots and Leaves! In retrospect I should have looked in Waterstones...
Though I did buy 3 very good anime DVD's, Patlabor: Mobile Police Force, Patlabor 2: The Movie and Zone of the Enders: Dolores, i, of which i have watched an hour of the first item and all five episodes of the last. All very good so far.
WEll i must go, dinner and a night of sporting activities await. Oh joy...
-
Oh thats a point. Duds, what goes down tomorrow? Email or comment where i have to be when, just so i know. Danke Schon!
-
G'dinner time around most of the UK
'chard
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: Stupid White Men
Listening to: That annoying sound when someone talks on MSN
Watching: ZOE Dolores, i
Annoyed with: Dentistry
Confused about: .......no idea
Mood: Hungry
-
Been an eventful day. Not only have I beaten TeraDud in his reading of the Harry Potter books, finally bought Stupid White Men, BUT i also had to have blu-tac stuck to my teeth for a while today. God i want that dentist shot...
-
Went to Bromley today. Not only could I not find the Piggyback Strategy Guide to Kingdom Hearts anywhere, but I couldnt even find Eats(,) Shoots and Leaves! In retrospect I should have looked in Waterstones...
Though I did buy 3 very good anime DVD's, Patlabor: Mobile Police Force, Patlabor 2: The Movie and Zone of the Enders: Dolores, i, of which i have watched an hour of the first item and all five episodes of the last. All very good so far.
WEll i must go, dinner and a night of sporting activities await. Oh joy...
-
Oh thats a point. Duds, what goes down tomorrow? Email or comment where i have to be when, just so i know. Danke Schon!
-
G'dinner time around most of the UK
'chard
Playing: Kingdom Hearts
Reading: Stupid White Men
Listening to: That annoying sound when someone talks on MSN
Watching: ZOE Dolores, i
Annoyed with: Dentistry
Confused about: .......no idea
Mood: Hungry
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