Ever noticed ALL romantic comedies are basically the same film? Even Shakespeare knew this when he milked sources for R+J. So, I have here the definitive reference guide to all the codes conventions and clichés of this marvellous genre I am far too susceptible too.
1. Happily Ever After
The guy ALWAYS gets the girl. The girl ALWAYS gets the guy. NO exceptions.
1.1 Happily Ever After?
If it's not made completely clear that it happens, we are always allowed the implication that it does happen that it does happen.
2. The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth
At one point (commonly 2/3rds in) the love interest of the protagonist will be told/find out about the plotting/lies/mistakes of the protagonist. At this point the two will part ways, and the montage in which the two are shown with superb use of subtext and music thinking of each other will be shown. This will indicate a passage of time, at the end of which the protagonist will have come up with a way to win her heart all over again.
2.1 The Course of True Friendship Never Did Run Smooth
If the main character is seen with a man they have been friends with for many years (often since childhood) their differences over the pursuit of the love interest will come between them, and they will argue and spend some time apart, during which a similar montage will be employed.
3. "Leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you *Beep*"
There will always be an answer machine in one or the other's apartment/house. One or the other will always leave a message. One or the other will be listening to the message, watching the machine and will not pick up. Nor do they ever call back. (This coincides with the montage within 2 and 2.1)
4. "Where's My Steak Wench?!"
In the unfortunate event that the love interest is taken, the boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancée of the love interest will ALWAYS be a complete ass. They will sleep around, cheat, be abusive or act in other other similar fashion as to make him repulsive. This serves 2 purposes: 1) the audience will hate him and not mind the fact the main character is breaking up a lasting relationship and 2) the love interest has an excuse to leave him when something better (the main character) comes along.
4.1 Timing's a bitch.
The protaganist will not discover the love interest is taken until halfway through asking them out, at which point the rival will appear, say hi, and hug and kiss the love interest.
4.2 Life's a bitch and then you marry one
The love interest is never married. She is between marraiges, single, in a relationship, living with someone, engaged to someone, but NEVER married. How else is the protagonist going to get them?
5. Little privacy here?
The protagonist will ALWAYS have to declare his love for the love interest in front of an entrie room of people. Despite any effort on his part to get away from the people it must happen this way. Whether it's infront of the love interests work colleagues, friends, at a wedding, whatever. The amount of people who hear the confession of love increases the romantic feeling exponentially.
5.1 Mind shutting your ears for this bit?
This crowd will always include the love rival.
5.2 So dumped...
You KNOW that if you tried that in real life you'd be shot down or too tongue tied.
6. What is your parentage?
The love interest will invariably be of a higher social standing than the protagonist
6.1 Dangerous In-Law
The Father of the love interest, unless the main character, will always be a powerful figure, eg a senator, the president, in the CIA or a mobster
7. Bit of old typecasting what, what?
Applies to british films only. I need only say two words: Hugh Grant
8. In Russia, Roms come first, and com comes second...
The film is never funny. There will be 1 laugh out loud moment in the film, the rest mere giggles. You will always however have a sentimental feeling for about 4 days afterwards (depending on the film and susceptibility).
9. Kids say the darndest things...
Kids will always be smarter/funnier than the parent; they are also the key to the romance.
10. The Great Depression.
It never fucking works in real life...
'chard
Playing: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (KOTOR)
Reading: Nothing
Listening to: 'New Born' - Muse
Annoyed with: Love
Mood: Sentimental, crashing into shit
Song currently stuck in head: 'Tight Rope' - Lacuna Coil
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Infrared' - Placebo
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4 comments:
What tricksy romance.
What about the rival verus new-lover fight? Is that not a normal event?
Two more rules, probably too obvious to notice-
a) It's always a straight couple.
b)Both members of the couple are physically attractive, or are made so through the use of a makeover at some point in the film. Because ugly people don't fall in love.
Very observant, thank you. I now can save myself from having to watch all of them just to be sure! :)
And aren't there only 7 plots in the whole world anyway? Or something like that...
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