Only Jesus Had A Busier Easter

Good Lord! Max Cannon of Red Meat re-uses his past strips and passes them off as new!

So yes, easter. The holiday's are now over, and I feel 'tis time to reflect, before the amount of stuff that could go into this blog becomes too overwhelming for there to be much effort on my part for there actually to BE a blog *INHALE*

Thursday

Last day of term. Period 1 was spent in the library hurredly finishing my drama coursework in the library during the period that I was supposed to HAVE drama. Got it done though, so all was coagulant. I then went home period 2 to try and get some of my media essay done with Rob Guest doing his maths. We returned to school, in time to see everyone else leaving school. After handing in my work, we went and talked to Andrew on his Prefect duty, and had lunch. Then, for some stupidity on my part, I waited with Rob in Mr Williams's room for an hour and a half until he arrived, at which point I left, and toddled off homeward bound (where my love life's waiting silently for me). Generally lazed for a while and watched Trainspotting, until:

Friday

A day of solid nothing, so I do recall. Well, that was until about 7, when off I did set sail and haul anchor (though not in that order) to the humble abode of the Dave of the Khazi Hills. Uponst arrival, we set off further up said Khazi Hill (well, the version more local to us) to the location of Matt, where our twosome was added to a foursome, made up of Matt, Fiona, Dave and I. Finally, at the top of the hill our numbers were bolstered still further by Chris Champion and Chapman (hereafter referred to as Chadwick) and only a few metres up the road, by Nick Staines and Rob. From there, we, we happy few, we band of brothers set forth on foot to the Staines Domain, whereupon we proceeded to do all the things that led to and were written about in:

Saturday (the Lou Reed day)

Sunday

Did the grand total of nothing this day, so far as i recall... might have though, anyone wish to correct me?

Monday

Again, nothing was done. Until that is at about 10.45 pm when Sa showed her face on the doorstep. Here she stayed until:

Tuesday

6.... 6 in the sodding morning.... 6 in the GOD DAMN MOTHER FORNICATING AM....

I woke up at 6, and did all the usual things of a morning (this was also the only day ALL YEAR when I've had breakfast) until about 9.15, when I phoned my dramatic compatriot Nick to confirm today's plans for our drama rehearsal. I was then greeted with a sleepy "It's next week...". So, very pissed off, I went back upstairs, remembered Sa was there, went back DOWNstairs, went on the internet, then lounged the rest of the day with her. Then got NO sleep at all in preperation for:

Wednesday

A day of more thrills than was anticipated. After a hasty upwaking and a money scrounge, out the door I went, and to the station, whereupon I rendezvoused with not only Rama, but Dave and Dan also. A quick moment of discussion over chavs while the train was delayed for another 10 minutes ended as the train arrived (10 minutes later) and we got on. I was treated to a rare spectacle of Jon's head peering out of the door of his carriage further down (checking we weren't being followed by no less than Otis...). Once safely on the train, Dan decided to have a crafty smoke, not realising that the camera's were rolling. Your secret is safe with me and all the millions of people on the net Dan. He was however struck down by the most terrible sideeffect of a nicotine addcition. No, not cancer, not asthma, but the terrible affliction whereby your face is turned into an Olympus camera. I was affected by the second hand smoke, my tongue turning into a piece of MAOAM. Altogether now, M-A-O-A-M, MAOAM! It seems Dave C was too affected, becoming a graffitied rendition of the love child of Matt Cook (year 8!!!) and Shrek.

Anyway, further down the line we saw a marvellous site (sorry for the pun), the spectacle of a building site, with WORKMEN ACTUALLY WORKING! Oh frabjous day! This day was made less frabjous with Dan's Haribo also feeling the effects of his 'death-sticks-of-smokey-pleasure', by having a mutated loveheart, WITH NO RED HALF!!! that boy should quit, before he does more damage to others...

We saw our destination, the Eye of London . After a quick walk from the station, we came across the armed guard, no doubt under orders from Otis (you'll hear his name a lot in this post, worry not...) who was making his attempt to storm Buckingham Palace. In defence, I became my super crime fighting alter ego "uberchard with 1 eye!" and defeated him... for now.

Anyway, so we reached Green Park, deciding it to be the best possible location for the video of the highly anticipated follow up release to MCDaveMcC's debut single; 'The Bloggin' Rap'. With directorial work by Dave and Myself, and choreography for the intro AND the intermissional freestyle improv rap from myself, it looks to be a sure fire hit! (even though I do look a prize watermelon in the opening, grinning like Michael Jackson browsing through the latest edition of 'FeckUpYerFace' Monthly) With filming underway, there was some tension in the group as Dan warmed up for his verse and the two Dave's discussed choreography together in preperation for this monumentous occasion. However, the tension was unnessecary, as Dan pulled his rap off with much aplomb, showing true ferocity in his round in the rap battle against MCMcC. Jon then took the helm for the filming of the final 'stanza', and all was finished with muchos flair and campness, and after some really hideously acted outtakes (>_<) off we did set to the Manger of Prets. Jon was a little confused as o how to open his Coke, while Dan perused the Underground Map (from above ground) in order to decide our course of action.

So, COA decided, we walked to the nearest underground station, where i sighted a most heinous spealing mistale. Anyway, a quick escalator descent later, we sat and waited for the Tube. Jon looked a little beat up and drunk, Dave played with his (snigger) 'lightsaber' (snigger), which Dan then tried to steal. Dave looked not too concerned about the trials of the others, instead looking the handsomest devil captured in pixels.

On the tube at last, there was an addition to the shenanigans of earlier. Thought provoking stuff I'm sure you'll agree. Dave unfortunately was also afflicted by Dan's smoking, himself turning into a visage of his camera, shocking Jon. Jon, however, decided not to be outdone.

A quick stop for lunch was made

Then, realising that the mist was NOT going to clear up, we decided that the time was right for a 'flight' (so it is called) on the Eye of London. Braving the possibility of Auton's running wild through London, we approached the Eye, past the walkway that was apparantly a bit shocked. A bit of a walk later, and we came to the London Eye, apparantly the largest sightseeing vehicle vertical seeing thingum in London. Well, so they said, it didn't look that big to me. After buying our tickets, we joined the queue (great word to type) and made ready to board. Dan was STILL afflicted by his camera (JUST SAY NO!), but it seemed to clear up as the armed guards of the Eye (Sauron) locked us into the Pod of the Eye (or, indeed, the iPod). Once at the top however, the mist was such that the view was muchos obscured . Still, at least we were able to see the more interesting sights of Central London, including the Arena, which no doubt houses violent death sports for the amusement of the aristocracy, and the large container that holds the imprisoned human souls, no doubt for transplant into robotic shells that will then move to conquer the world.

With the view so disrupted, my photogrphic attnetions then turned to inside the iPod, including a photo of the possé, and after much searching, the bomb cunningly hidden by Otis to silence us. Luckily, like us, it turned out to be a dud (snigger). Dan was finally cured of his cameraitis, in time for the Agent of Otis to unlock our cell, and allow us passage into the outside world. As innocent as her facade may have been, look at the pure EVIL of her!

Loose once more upon the world, we now knew the location of the AOO's. Dave and Dave rushed to a secret arms store, grabbed 2 shotguns and fought long and hard. However, Dave was hit (see the pain on his face?) and Dave was forced to rush into heated close combat to thwart his foe. Well, that, or they were playing House of the Dead III in the arcade. With the zombies defeated, Dave foolishly challenged me to a game of that heated bloodsport with a death toll in the thousands, airhockey. the challenge was foolish, as I was eventually proclaimed the victor. However, things were still not well. Jon wsa forced to use all his strength to combat a raging bovine (no, not Becca). Suddenly, amidst a hail of gunfire the steer dropped dead. All head whipped around to see who had vanquished such a terrible foe and there stood the two heroes. It was now all too evident that there were enemies all around, so I too armed myself. I then realised that the camera was responsible (it was hot in there ok?) so I attacked. However, it seemed that Jon had taken leave of his senses, engaging ME in a pitched firefight. Despite all my efforts, I was slain, and Jon took over the attack against my camera.

Going away from that strange little tangent, we left the arcade of amusement and walked along past The Houses of Parliament. For some reason, the little elf that sits on Dave's right shoulder decided to manifest itself, so I took a photo just to prove that I'm not going mad....i'm not.....honest... Anyway, after being attacked by a rampaging chariot, we made our way to Covent Garden, where Jon was found to be in a state of rapture withthe presence of a carousel, not realising it was only for the enjoyment of one called 'Tommy'.

After a quick coffee, it was decided that we should go, so a quick journey to Charing Cross later, we were homeward bound, free to look over today's filming. And yes, I do look the lemon...

BUT WAIT!!!

Wednesday was not over! As though in an attempt to ake this blog post yet MORE saturated with outbound links, the evening was also the happening of a social event at the dwelling of the Champion of Chris's. Upon arrival I was witness to possibly the greatest video collection I have seen. The evening I was aware was going to be random, but I was not aware HOW random it would be until, after only 15 minutes, there was a rather strange special guest. Nick hastily tried to explain why it was there, but I cared not. As long as the perpetrator was on film i could rest my vigilante alter ego.

Since the rest of the evening had no real narrative, and that some details will not be disclosed the rest of the evening will be presented in the style of a comic strip.

"The Tale of Two Roberts"

Robert was a normal boy

Until he turned into Evil Robert by freak chance

While Rob was very perturbed by his transmogrification, Evil Rob settled in comfortably.

The higher being, Fiona looked upon this event with a slight amusement, as she formulated a plan. Using her cosmic powers she turned Evil Rob back into normal Rob. However, as Rob clicked his fingers he changed AGAIN! Rob's spirit got a little ticked off at this...

The Clone Warriors, deciding enough was enough, used thier psychic powers on Doug, who used his powers of street cool to pluck Robert's spirit from the ceiling into a physical form. Evil Rob became very angry at this, momentarily changing into a Bassist Daemon From The Deep. In an attempt to regain power, he confered with Fiona on how to become powerful again. However, sensing his evil, she destroyed him, and became best friends with Rob again.

However, One of the clone warriors used her power to manipulate Matt into attacking Rob Rob beat him though, and used the bus stop to mark the grave of Evil Rob.

-FIN-

Thursday

Nothing

Friday

Not much

Saturday

Can't think of anything

Sunday

Notice the pattern?

Monday

Finally! Something happened! I woke up, and went to Rob's house. After watching lots of really BAD BAD BAD japanese films adn playing random PS2 games, we left and walked towards Bromley. However, we were called into Tom's house along the way, where He had laid a fiendish trap! the spirit of Evil Rob returned, and stabbed Rob!!!. After a bit of bussage later, I ended up at the dwelling of the Stomppmeister. After a bit of intro and Reasoning, off we did set sail to an alley of bowling. After a spectacular defeat at Airhockey to the Stompp, I pushed my dignity off the shelf and played Dance Stage Euromix. Embarrasment was never so toetappingly fun! But yes. On the actual bowling itself, i suffered miserably at the hands of all but one, until the final ball, when i inexplicably managed to win by 1 point! 1!! Amazing! T'was not repeated in the second round though, eventually losing to the Mondo Magic. Uponst return, we played Darkstalkers for a bit (Ell will be glad to hear I got my ass kicked), and after some fun fun Halo 2 pwnage home I was taken.

Tuesday

At last, after a whole week, the drama rehearsal could take place. I arrived at school at 10, as promised, only to find that Doug was the only one there, along with Claire (!Claire!) and Mehreen. After a long wait for Nick, he eventually arrived... dog in tow... Still, despite Doug's broken arm and Danielle's illness, the group had arrived, even with a stand-in for Danielle. We went through all we could. The Wolf followed Little Red Cap with much dedication to the role, the King made fun of Rumpelstiltskin's height, flowers were collected. Well, until the wolf had to eat Red Cap and Grandmother. Eventually we got bored, and went inside lost for muse. Nick spent some time hiding from Sheba, eventually flummoxing her totally by sitting on her. Doug was cool as the proverbial cucumber at all times, and the day ended with much doggy affection between canines (no, not THAT doggy, you sick minded individuals).

Tuesday evening was spent in the company of Sa, who now sports a head of raven locks (dark brown? Whatever...), which when coupled with her sister creates a rather strange look . Still, fun was had, mostly. Sa spent a lot of the time fluttering her now ebony hair, until I left.

Wednesday

II awoke at 7 with a rather long box appearing in my room. Intrigued, opened it was... And containe was my brand new Lightsaber. Pretty glad, since my old one was getting a little too encrusted with Jedi blood. The only downside to it is Sa looks more evil with it than I do. Time for some action shots!

Kssch!!! SCHWING Vmksch...

But yes. LIGHTSABER!!! WOO! I'll see if I can get the vids up.

Thursday

Not even an electronic sausage. Just cleaned me room.

Friday

A day of more sweet nothings, until at about 8 I left my house bound for the Khazi Hills once more. The company this time was the Dave of said hill, the Champion of Chris's, Matt and Evil Rob. Here is the crew themselves, Matt looking a little disgusted at Rob's trick of inserting a beer bottle into his eye. While the others discussed musicality, Dave sat back looking sexy. Evil Rob fought off my accusation of his evilness with some Evil Air Piano, as discussions of pizza were conducted. Matt seems to have stolen Chris's wallet, but when Chris confronted him and questioned him, Matt pleaded innocence. That fiend...

As the night progressed, Chris became so drunk that he confused the Pringles for beer, much to the consternation of Rob. Eventually the food arrived, and tucked in did all, Matt showing his affection for the italian dish in a rather....flexible manner. Dave watched this with great confusion, not least since Evil Rob's head was growing out of his knee. I looked a little tired at this point, so I went to sleep, as Rob and Matt shared a tender moment.

DISCLAIMER : Actually, i dont think much of that actually happened. That's just what the pictures show. The camera never lies.

Saturday

Nothing, until I went to Alpha and missed Doctor Who.

Sunday

Wrote this. My arms hurt...


Hope that was worth the wait y'all.

Playing: Metal Gear Solids 1,2 and 3
Reading: Not much
Listening to: 'New Born' - Muse
Watching: Nothing
Annoyed with: Shoolwork
Confused about: Everything
Mood: Muggy
Song currently stuck in head: 'Moondance' - Nightwish
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'The Pharoah Sails To Orion' - Nightwish

According to Word - 3070 words.