What a grim tale...

First up, I blogged twice yesterday, so if you missed those be sure to read and enjoy.

So, yesterday was the second and last public performance of our AS level scripted piece 'Grimm Tales' which I plugged very shamelessly on this blog a few times.

After some hasty rehearsals, we retired to the drama studio where we met the examiner, who quite helpfully identified Danielle as a girl, me as having long hair, Nick as being tall and Doug as being Doug. Which was all fun. We then went out to set up the stage, noticing the growing amount of people filling the seats, who included special guest appearances from Jess and Helen, which was all fun. So, setup. The book, being an important prop was place in the centre. Nick handled the percussive side of the set, whilst Doug and I hid behind stage trying not to look conspicuous.

Since the audience had the camera, I wasn't sure exactly what was being taken, but it was nice to see some shots of the programme (drawn by Danielle) that clearly states the title of the play, a big bad wolf (natch) and 'hard Stewart' as performer. I iz well 'ard, innit.

And so, with the stage set, the lights lit, 'twas time for the show to go on.

Act 1 : Little Red-Cap

A traditional version of Little Red Riding Hood, though with the same basic plot, so not much exposition needed here. Needless to say it started well, and all the characters were present:

Evil Narrator - Danielle
Red-Cap - Nick
Wolf - Doug
Mother/Grandmother - 'chard Stewart
Huntsman - Nick

Kudos to Doug for looking great in both a wolf mask and a cardigan

Best Line: 'Narrator - There was once a delicious little girl who was loved by everyone who saw her'

Act 2 : Clever Hans

Like Hansel and Gretel, but without the second syllable, a brain, logic and a house made of various items of confection.

Hans' inner self - 'chard
Hans - Doug
Mother - Nick
Gretel - Danielle

Hans, a young lad of mixed cognitive ability (apparantly) faces the struggle all men face- being manipulated and generally f*cked around by females, which leads to a messy divorce, blind sheep, a bruised face and a slightly cut up vest.

Best Line: 'Hans - Hans goes to the stable, cuts out all the calves and sheeps eyes, and throws them in Gretel's face.'

Act 3 - The Hare and the Hedgehog

Here Messrs Grimm and Grimm seem to go off on an Aesop tangent.

Hare - Nick
Hedgehog - 'chard
Hedgehog's (beaten) Wife - Doug
Evil Narrator - Danielle

A sexist and wife beating hedgehog goes to see how well his turnips are growing when he runs into the Hare. After some well placed insults about my legs (?) we agree to a race to decide who has the better legs (?). However, the Hedgehog fools the Hare by making his wife stand at the end of the track and pretending to be him (?). The hare is convinced that the Wife is her husband (???) and so requests a rerun. The hare runs a total of 74 times before he dies, the hedghog nicks the prize and goes home to beat his wife around a little more.

Best Line : Hedgehog's wife (to Narrator) - Bitch...'

Act 4 - Rumplestiltzkin

A mafia metaphor

Rumplestiltzkin - Doug
Miller's Daughter - Danielle
King - 'chard
Messenger - 'chard
Miller - Nick
Queen - Nick

Again, a tale that is much different from the original. Those that know it know it, those that know it in german know it in german.

Best Line : 'Messenger - I haven't been able to find any new names - *SLAP*'

And, with a red light and a shutting of the book the story ended.

'Und wenn sie nicht gestorben sind, so leben sie noch heute'

-

also up that night were Alice in Wonderland, who were phenomenal in a very wierd way, but very enjoyable. Also was Blue Remembered Hills, to which I could still remember most of the lines to, and Brighton Beach Scumbags, a play about chavs that I had a bit part as a gay man in. Fun fun.

Tonight more lovely theatrical things, in the shape of Cloud 9, In Memory Of Lizzie, Fall Of The House Of Usher (hopefully with him inside), and Peter Pan. Shuld be good fun, the camera is charging.

'chard

Playing: Lego Star Wars
Reading: Soul Harvest
Listening to: 'Sacrament of Wilderness' - Nightwish
Watching: End of Innocence / Drama t'ings
Annoyed with: Not much
Confused about: Alice
Mood: Chipper
Song currently stuck in head: 'Butterflies and Hurricanes' - Muse
Favourite Song of the Minute: Toccata and Fugue in D Minor - Jean-Michael Jarre