The Chav Post, innit?

'sup bruvs.

Today, I bring you a definite guide to the 4 most common type of Cheltenham Average. Pictures are of course provided. Please bear in mind I am a qualified (GCSE '04 , B grade) actor, and thus now what I am doing. Do not reacreate anything you see in this post, unless you are a braindead fool with less priority in the herd than the toilet ditch.

No animal were harmed in the making of this post.Other things were harmed. My dignity and self respect for one, but bluergh.

So, kick starting the festivities:

Harmless Chav

These are the easiest chav to deal with in a social capacity. While the face is slightly obscured, it is less so than most, and so will be easy to pick out of a police line up. Threats are nothing more than a dirty look in your direction.

Semi-Harmless Chav

A step up from the Harmless Chav in everything but appearance. They look the same, but there is an increased threat of verbal or physical profanity (see picture). While less easy to deal with, can still be mocked within a safe distance. Unfortunatly the most common chav you'll see. Look for the spawning dens in and around town centres.

Violent Chav (Nocturnal Variety)

The danger increases significantly for this outing. The face is now almost completely obscured by the hood and cap, the shadow increased by cover of darkness and street lamps in car parks. More likely to approach single targets while in groups, due to safety in numbers. Violence comes from physical mano-a-mano combat, or unsophisticated weaponary such as discarded fast food.

Chavus El Beelzebub (Nocturnal Variety)

Avoid avoid avoid. Safety can no longer be assured by a lack of a 'crew' or 'massive'. More dangerous weaponary ensures little resistance from any suspecting victim. Easier to identify at close proximity however.

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Peace out playas!