I'll be the Roundabout

... the words willl make you out-and-out.

Short post today. Last day of term today, and my itinerary (see last post) was followed, with some minor additions:

1. Rain
2. Caberet in assembly
3. Hot Chocolate at Wendy's
4. Star Ocean: Till The End Of Time
5. Star Wars Episode IV

Lots of rain. Lots.

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I hate the Channel 4 line up tonight. Look at this schedule of classic programming:

21:00 The Simpsons
21:30 Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere
22:00 Peep Show
22:35 Father Ted Xmas Special

How you torment me so!!!

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I have a christmas gift for all of you! I will give you clues of it every time i post until christmas!

Clue 1

"FADE IN

We are on a dark cobbled street, a sign hanging limp in the wind tells us we are in FAVERSHAM HIGHSTREET, we PAN across the street to a bunch of FIVE CHAVS, they are adorned in baseball caps, goldy looking chains, and sports casual wear. They are pushing an OLD LADY and talking loudly:

CHAV 1 (To old lady): Innit Bruv, Why went ya give ma no moneee?
OLD LADY (Frightened): Please just leave me alone, I only have my pension!

A rustling is heard in the background, the chavs turn in fear, the rustling stops, and we PULLBACK to reveal CHAVHUNTER standing over the CHAVS he is wearing a black leather jacket and a silver hockey mask, the OLD LADY looks smug.

CHAVHUNTER: Will you chavs never learn!

CHAVHUNTER strikes out with a bullwhip, removing all of the CHAVS baseball caps which land neatly in the OLD LADY'S hand.

CHAVHUNTER: (To old lady) Go home! and if they come near you again, wear one of their hats, they will think your one of them.

OLD LADY: Thankyou Chavhunter! Godbless you!

The OLD LADY scurries off into the distance and OUT OF SHOT. RACK PAN to the face of CHAV 1, we see a look of TERROR and then a fist smashing into his face, he FALLS unconcious, OUT OF SHOT.

FADE TO BLACKFADE TO a PLAYGROUND some time later, we see the FIVE CHAVS hanging upside down by their feet, they are only wearing their underwear, a POLICEMAN is surveying the scene, investigating.

CHAV 2 (To policeman) Cam-on bruv, let us daawn?!
POLICEMAN (Laughing) Nope sorry, that would interupt the crime scene, we've got to leave you up there until forensics arrive.
CHAV 2 F*cking gavers! Haw lon is dat gonna tayke?!
POLICEMAN (looking at watch) Ohhh about three hours I reckon, if your lucky

The POLICEMAN walks off laughing to himself, we FAST PAN to a rooftop some distance away from the PLAYGROUND. CHAVHUNTER is crouched surveying the scene. He crunches a burberry baseball cap in his fist.

FADE TO CREDITS

Chavhunting, it's gotta start sometime?!"