So another year comes to an end. Another pretty good year to be perfectly frank, and certainly my favourite year for quite a while. And, in the true written format, can only be reminisced upon using words. Isn't that a fun idea?
2004: A 'chard Oddysey
January, the month of Mocking
Ah, a rather nice month. Not only the beginning of the New Year (soon to be the old year) but also the signpost for me to run staight into the lovely things that were the GCSE mock exam results. Truth be told, I can't even remember taking them, but i know I must have at some point. I think I got a C in the maths mock. Oh how things were to change... *hem hem*. Also, the 10th marked Valmar's 10000th year of existance (or first, depending on what calender you're using) and the 11th was the IOM's first year. Fancy that for a bowl of fruit!
February, the month of blogging
February 16th! A day that without which, these words which you read would not be in existence. This blog has actually been a pretty big part of this year. I made the rough estimate that most of my internet time will include the use or reading of someone's blog. Most of my knowledge of my friend's out of school life comes from reading their blogs. If not for the blogs, I wouldn't have sporadically returned to Neopets, nor known of the existance of Moolb or Astrojaxx. But then, I wouldn't have spent far too much time than is healthy on the internet, had I not made this thing. Ah well, tis nice to have a hobby no?
March, the month of restrospective word eating and HTML
March started off well, with a nice email from Scott Adams (Dilbert author) in the inbox. Then much wierdness assued when I discovered the possibilities of HTML to very strange results. Annoying even me after a while, most of them went. then of course there was my lovely rant regarding alchohol. Ahem, well, I meant it at the time ok? then the trend of really pointless copied and pasted posts started, for which I apologise. Also was the month of my introduction to Ellen. Some madness in the air in march...
April, the month of Love, Actually
Well, not really. I watched the film and posted (for some reason, twice) on my attitudes to love. Yarg, what was I on? Hmm, I never did write that review of X-2 did I? Well, X-2 was crud. I expect I'll get back to it for Winter-Een-Mas. I also thought that 500 hits was a lot back then. Going on 10000 now. Freaky-deaky.
May, the Ukrainian Month
The month that contained that fateful Eurovision song contest evening. What did I get out of that evening? 2 chocolate oranges that I saw none of either, a catchy addition to the WMP playlist and (eventually) Sarah. Though she will no doubt contest she got me out of the evening first but meh.
And to think I could have gone to Stompp's instead... Oh, and I got .hack. Very nice game. Never got the sequels though. Should do at somepoint. Maybe if i can find them cheap in WHsmiths for W-E-M...
June, the month of Exams and 16 years
Arg, those exams. 16 hour to 2 hour long hells. Still, once they were done, I was FREE!!! FREE I TELLS YA!!!
July-September, the months of London, Somerset, Wales and Spain
SoulInTheCity, Soul Survivor, New Wine, London trips (of which 2 i missed), Sarah going away for countless days, ear infection, tonsillitus, then the return to 6th form... The summer was short...
October, the month of 6th form adjustments.
6th form really was rather different. It was nice to know that I had a spare 2 hours of a Friday morning, but was not nice realising I had Tyler as a form tutor. Foolish man...
There was the 3 trips to and from school for Malyszko's sake, Sarah left for Oxford, I won an award, and the clip post, which, as I predicted, has been a plagiarised format. Teradud... tut tut... adn of course my most geeky post to date, the 40k battle report. October was strange
November, The month of perversion
Well, what with Bush being re-elected, my take on not being able to eat a hoopoe and the great version of Song of Songs I have, Him With The Hair, me referring to myself as the Keeper of the Kerosine, and (god-forbid) a post title that said 'much normality reigns' November was a really, REALLY surreal month for this blog...
And that's not even mentioning Wedekind...
December, The Month Of Now
The final month! Christmas going off without a hitch, a wedding, another London trip, the end of the first of 6 sixth form terms, the confirmation, my christmas samurai.... what a nice month to end the year with.
Looking forward to those mocks...
December 31, 2004
December 30, 2004
The Road Goes Ever On...
And man, so do those films!
ALTERNATE TITLE : 'The One with the euphemisms for EVERYTHING'
On Tuesday I was abruptly awoken by mah mother at some ungodly hour in the morning. 9.30!!! I mean, who's up then??? But, she had brought me a cup of tea, and once downed I had calmed hugely. A quick dressing (Thousand Island) later, I was on the way to the House of Destroyed Technology, While Being A Very Nice Place, And All Broken Things Are Actually My Fault Anyway. Or, as it is more commonly known, Stompp's! (No offense mate! No, put down the chess board...)
-
To get myself into the general mood for the day, I took along the recently acquired soundtrack to Return of the King. Having found my now favourite track (6 if you must know. Or if you have a difficult numbering system, 'tis Minas Morgul) I listened to it with most enjoyment, until, a full 5 minutes before 10, I arrived at the doorway of the House Of Musical Delights. Early! There was a first! Having had this repeatedly told to me for the next five minutes, I settled back with Stompp, one of his friends (more height and less hair now than last time), his dad, his sister and The One Caught In A Time Displacement Field When He Eats.
And, for the next 11 hours and 30 minutes, i moved from my seat but 6 times. The reason?
A marathon of all three extended edition Lord of the Rings films! Do any of you need to even ask me what a huge occassion this was? Not only was it the first time I had watched a screen for that amount of time, it was also only the second time I had sen Return of The King, and the only time I had seen the new 48 minutes! I had refrained for so long simply for this showing, and oh, how it was a glorious venture! The Mouth of Sauron! BLISS!!
Though, still no Scouring of the Shire, more's the pity. Who doesn't want to see little hobbit sized people running around with swords? *Giggles*
Many thanks to the Stompp for that wonderful wonderful day!
-
But the movie marathon fun was not over! No, no, my friends! The next day was a day spent with that most lovely of peoples, Sarah. As per a previous arrangement, we skipped the ITV showing of Star Wars Episode IV and its many adverts for a more user friendly version, employing Darth Rob's copy of it on DVD. Huzzah! After much Yavinated fun, we then decided to watch the Empire Strikes back immediatly afterwards, and what wholesome fun that was! Once home, i was sorely tempted to attack Ye That Resides Opposite for his copy of Return of the Jedi, if only so I had 2 of my 3 favourite trilogies shown back to back in as many days. Of course, had I done, I could have also stolen his copy of The Matrix Revolutions and watched all three Matrices today. But alas, that though has only just occured to me, and so is lost forever. Sighness.
-
Movie Madness no? And, seeing as I am still in that spirit, a new link for ye! The best site for internet information of films, IMDb! Most of you know it anyway, but those that don't, it is a rather good site, and well worth a look.
New Years Eve tomorrow! The fun that the evening will purvey approaches in all it's vague amounts of sleeplessness. It also marks one other thing. As THIS will demonstrate, though without the accompanying snowflake.
Have a good one!
Playing: Final Fantasy X
Reading: Blogs
Listening to: 'Minas Morgul' - Howard Shore
Watching: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Annoyed with: Little
Confused about: How I Lasted 11.5 hours...
Mood: Happy, little hungry
Song currently stuck in head: 'Minas Morgul' - Howard Shore
Favourite Song of the Minute: And again, 'Minas Morgul' - Howard Shore
ALTERNATE TITLE : 'The One with the euphemisms for EVERYTHING'
On Tuesday I was abruptly awoken by mah mother at some ungodly hour in the morning. 9.30!!! I mean, who's up then??? But, she had brought me a cup of tea, and once downed I had calmed hugely. A quick dressing (Thousand Island) later, I was on the way to the House of Destroyed Technology, While Being A Very Nice Place, And All Broken Things Are Actually My Fault Anyway. Or, as it is more commonly known, Stompp's! (No offense mate! No, put down the chess board...)
-
To get myself into the general mood for the day, I took along the recently acquired soundtrack to Return of the King. Having found my now favourite track (6 if you must know. Or if you have a difficult numbering system, 'tis Minas Morgul) I listened to it with most enjoyment, until, a full 5 minutes before 10, I arrived at the doorway of the House Of Musical Delights. Early! There was a first! Having had this repeatedly told to me for the next five minutes, I settled back with Stompp, one of his friends (more height and less hair now than last time), his dad, his sister and The One Caught In A Time Displacement Field When He Eats.
And, for the next 11 hours and 30 minutes, i moved from my seat but 6 times. The reason?
A marathon of all three extended edition Lord of the Rings films! Do any of you need to even ask me what a huge occassion this was? Not only was it the first time I had watched a screen for that amount of time, it was also only the second time I had sen Return of The King, and the only time I had seen the new 48 minutes! I had refrained for so long simply for this showing, and oh, how it was a glorious venture! The Mouth of Sauron! BLISS!!
Though, still no Scouring of the Shire, more's the pity. Who doesn't want to see little hobbit sized people running around with swords? *Giggles*
Many thanks to the Stompp for that wonderful wonderful day!
-
But the movie marathon fun was not over! No, no, my friends! The next day was a day spent with that most lovely of peoples, Sarah. As per a previous arrangement, we skipped the ITV showing of Star Wars Episode IV and its many adverts for a more user friendly version, employing Darth Rob's copy of it on DVD. Huzzah! After much Yavinated fun, we then decided to watch the Empire Strikes back immediatly afterwards, and what wholesome fun that was! Once home, i was sorely tempted to attack Ye That Resides Opposite for his copy of Return of the Jedi, if only so I had 2 of my 3 favourite trilogies shown back to back in as many days. Of course, had I done, I could have also stolen his copy of The Matrix Revolutions and watched all three Matrices today. But alas, that though has only just occured to me, and so is lost forever. Sighness.
-
Movie Madness no? And, seeing as I am still in that spirit, a new link for ye! The best site for internet information of films, IMDb! Most of you know it anyway, but those that don't, it is a rather good site, and well worth a look.
New Years Eve tomorrow! The fun that the evening will purvey approaches in all it's vague amounts of sleeplessness. It also marks one other thing. As THIS will demonstrate, though without the accompanying snowflake.
Have a good one!
Playing: Final Fantasy X
Reading: Blogs
Listening to: 'Minas Morgul' - Howard Shore
Watching: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Annoyed with: Little
Confused about: How I Lasted 11.5 hours...
Mood: Happy, little hungry
Song currently stuck in head: 'Minas Morgul' - Howard Shore
Favourite Song of the Minute: And again, 'Minas Morgul' - Howard Shore
December 25, 2004
Humbug... HUMBUG
Anyone want a humbug?
Just a quickie here. I have to get Tera his pressie.
The Wedding
All was grand, nice and romantic, although all my photo's blurred. Well, almost all. Only 1 or didnt. But all was brilliant, special mention to a moment in the groom's speech where he mentioned about them gettign married at a relatively young age. Apparantly the bride was mantioned to ahve said "Book early to avoid disappointment". And yes, I got slightyl drunk. But there was wine, so bleurgh to you all.
Today
Christmas! Woo! Spent most of the morning (12.45 - 5.00) watching Gone with the Wind, which was pretty good. Bloody long though. Then after not very much sleep whatsoever, i woke up, to recieve:
LOTR sountracks x3
PS2 controller
Microphone/headphones headset dealie (Calm down Sarah)
Book on Chav linguistics
£10 WHSmiths tokens
128mb Xd cards for me camera x2
Erm, and I think that was it...
Merry Christmas!
Just a quickie here. I have to get Tera his pressie.
The Wedding
All was grand, nice and romantic, although all my photo's blurred. Well, almost all. Only 1 or didnt. But all was brilliant, special mention to a moment in the groom's speech where he mentioned about them gettign married at a relatively young age. Apparantly the bride was mantioned to ahve said "Book early to avoid disappointment". And yes, I got slightyl drunk. But there was wine, so bleurgh to you all.
Today
Christmas! Woo! Spent most of the morning (12.45 - 5.00) watching Gone with the Wind, which was pretty good. Bloody long though. Then after not very much sleep whatsoever, i woke up, to recieve:
LOTR sountracks x3
PS2 controller
Microphone/headphones headset dealie (Calm down Sarah)
Book on Chav linguistics
£10 WHSmiths tokens
128mb Xd cards for me camera x2
Erm, and I think that was it...
Merry Christmas!
December 23, 2004
Marry Chrishtmas Eve *hic* eve
First off; FUCKING BLOGGER. Right, lets try this again.
Now that the party is well underway adn we have inbibed almost lethal quantities of alcohol, i would like to rant. Not about Blogger, sorely tempted as I am to go to the google servers with a large blunt object, but about an advert I saw last night.
Róc Face Cream.
Woman : "I thought I could never fall in love. Im 45"
Anouner If you loo up to 10 years younger, nothing is impossible!
Wow, so if i looke like a ix year old I could have passed maths? Wish I'd known that earlier...
-
Now, the christmas festivities started early for the duds, with our last trip to london of 2004, or at least the last one of 2004 where the tube wont be chaotic. Whatever. As usuall, many (blurry) pictures for you to look at, which will more than make up for the spleeing mistlaes.
The day began with a walk to West Wickham Station, where I met with the Dan oakner, who helpfully informed me that the train had been delayed, for little to no reason. We then formulated a plan, and got on a train that eventually took us to London Bridge. Dave arrived at the station, and then Rob and Emily appeared from the platform. We got on the next train, and met Jon! Nice new train it was too. It allowed us to engage in polite conversation while Rob poledanced for Jon and Emily's evident amusement, though Dave questioned the amusement of it. One flaw of the new train was the lack of seats, causing us to stand all the way. I ruminated on this fact for a while. We were then joined by Andrew! Hot whizz and hoorah's ensued, but were stifled when we passed Clock House sans Dave and Steve, who had become a little discumbobulated by the trains ludicrous time keeping. Rob was not amused.
We then arrived at Charing Cross, after a little detour to London Bridge. I modelled a very stylish looking bag and scarf once Sarah had arrived. She then found the need to buy some hair ties from Boots, so I accompanied her there, in which time Dave and Baz found thier way to us. We then journeyed forth to Trafalgar Square once more, where we all (except for Lewis and Emily) face the mighty climb to the peak of Nelson. From our great height, Lewis looked very alone and pathetic. A lone soldier... We then journeyed forth to St James's Park, via Buckingham Palace. In every sense, we had gone to London and seen the Queen! I then saw a very interesting plaque, that would be a good cue card for a chav if he were ever asked the question 'What is the country that is spelt A F R _C A?'. ' s'Africaaaa innit?'
In the park however, arguments ensued between dave and Jon, that could only be sorted by Dragonball Z style fighting. T'was a fierce battle... But anyway... We then journeyed further into the park, where we engaged in that most frabjous of sporting activities, PDQ. The first game I looked on as a spectator, in order to learn the rules. A good match it was, the final going to Rob and Rowan. Mid Air Aerobatics were employed to great effect. The tension was fierce. Rob stayed heavily on the offensive. But, eventually, the battle was over, and the loser could not face defeat. Rob stood alone, vanquished, and called for a second round.
The second round was this time joined by the me, who went out in spectacular style when Rob pulled his foot out from under mine and I, in true comedy style, fell flat on me arse. This round came down to a fierce fight between Lewis, Jon and Steve. Steve hung back, while Jon and Lewis faced each other. Finally, Jon leapt to attack, barely missing his target. Then, with Lewis pushed back so, Steve lunged forward, putting Lewis out of the game. Lets see that...IN SLOW MOTION!
"N-O-O-O!!!"
2 more rounds were fought, but I won neither. We moved on. On the way I saw evidence of a bike that had been terrible killed in a road accident, the chalk outline still visible in the wet pavement. Much merriment was had a little further along the road. We found another horse button! How risible. Still further on, in a subway, I found evidence that suggested that the Chav was not native to our times, with a cave drawing of a 1800's Chav. there was also a rather disturbing picture that suggested much homosexuality in the armed forces of long past. What's going on here?
We came to Harrods, where we realised the full extent of how late the Tube service had become. 4 years late, they were moving into the 21st century... Anyhoo, we looked around Harrods for a while, then came out, and waited while Rowan bought himself a Doughnut. Meanwhile, i saw and advert for housing in Dubai. Is that to rent or 'dubai'?!
We then arrived at London Victoria, were we sat and ate. Eating. Dave, for some reason, was swallowed up by the fires of hell... We then went to the Apple Store, and messed about with the Macs. Me and sarah then went around Oxford Street looking for a saucepan, before getting a train to Bromley, where she found said saucepans, and we went home.
Must dash now, have to be ready to go to Dorset for a wedding tomorrow. Fun fun fun!
Merry Christmas
Dickybod
Now that the party is well underway adn we have inbibed almost lethal quantities of alcohol, i would like to rant. Not about Blogger, sorely tempted as I am to go to the google servers with a large blunt object, but about an advert I saw last night.
Róc Face Cream.
Woman : "I thought I could never fall in love. Im 45"
Anouner If you loo up to 10 years younger, nothing is impossible!
Wow, so if i looke like a ix year old I could have passed maths? Wish I'd known that earlier...
-
Now, the christmas festivities started early for the duds, with our last trip to london of 2004, or at least the last one of 2004 where the tube wont be chaotic. Whatever. As usuall, many (blurry) pictures for you to look at, which will more than make up for the spleeing mistlaes.
The day began with a walk to West Wickham Station, where I met with the Dan oakner, who helpfully informed me that the train had been delayed, for little to no reason. We then formulated a plan, and got on a train that eventually took us to London Bridge. Dave arrived at the station, and then Rob and Emily appeared from the platform. We got on the next train, and met Jon! Nice new train it was too. It allowed us to engage in polite conversation while Rob poledanced for Jon and Emily's evident amusement, though Dave questioned the amusement of it. One flaw of the new train was the lack of seats, causing us to stand all the way. I ruminated on this fact for a while. We were then joined by Andrew! Hot whizz and hoorah's ensued, but were stifled when we passed Clock House sans Dave and Steve, who had become a little discumbobulated by the trains ludicrous time keeping. Rob was not amused.
We then arrived at Charing Cross, after a little detour to London Bridge. I modelled a very stylish looking bag and scarf once Sarah had arrived. She then found the need to buy some hair ties from Boots, so I accompanied her there, in which time Dave and Baz found thier way to us. We then journeyed forth to Trafalgar Square once more, where we all (except for Lewis and Emily) face the mighty climb to the peak of Nelson. From our great height, Lewis looked very alone and pathetic. A lone soldier... We then journeyed forth to St James's Park, via Buckingham Palace. In every sense, we had gone to London and seen the Queen! I then saw a very interesting plaque, that would be a good cue card for a chav if he were ever asked the question 'What is the country that is spelt A F R _C A?'. ' s'Africaaaa innit?'
In the park however, arguments ensued between dave and Jon, that could only be sorted by Dragonball Z style fighting. T'was a fierce battle... But anyway... We then journeyed further into the park, where we engaged in that most frabjous of sporting activities, PDQ. The first game I looked on as a spectator, in order to learn the rules. A good match it was, the final going to Rob and Rowan. Mid Air Aerobatics were employed to great effect. The tension was fierce. Rob stayed heavily on the offensive. But, eventually, the battle was over, and the loser could not face defeat. Rob stood alone, vanquished, and called for a second round.
The second round was this time joined by the me, who went out in spectacular style when Rob pulled his foot out from under mine and I, in true comedy style, fell flat on me arse. This round came down to a fierce fight between Lewis, Jon and Steve. Steve hung back, while Jon and Lewis faced each other. Finally, Jon leapt to attack, barely missing his target. Then, with Lewis pushed back so, Steve lunged forward, putting Lewis out of the game. Lets see that...IN SLOW MOTION!
"N-O-O-O!!!"
2 more rounds were fought, but I won neither. We moved on. On the way I saw evidence of a bike that had been terrible killed in a road accident, the chalk outline still visible in the wet pavement. Much merriment was had a little further along the road. We found another horse button! How risible. Still further on, in a subway, I found evidence that suggested that the Chav was not native to our times, with a cave drawing of a 1800's Chav. there was also a rather disturbing picture that suggested much homosexuality in the armed forces of long past. What's going on here?
We came to Harrods, where we realised the full extent of how late the Tube service had become. 4 years late, they were moving into the 21st century... Anyhoo, we looked around Harrods for a while, then came out, and waited while Rowan bought himself a Doughnut. Meanwhile, i saw and advert for housing in Dubai. Is that to rent or 'dubai'?!
We then arrived at London Victoria, were we sat and ate. Eating. Dave, for some reason, was swallowed up by the fires of hell... We then went to the Apple Store, and messed about with the Macs. Me and sarah then went around Oxford Street looking for a saucepan, before getting a train to Bromley, where she found said saucepans, and we went home.
Must dash now, have to be ready to go to Dorset for a wedding tomorrow. Fun fun fun!
Merry Christmas
Dickybod
December 21, 2004
Happy Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve!
Yes, that time once again descends dear readers! And give me no grief about being intolerant of others by calling it CHRISTmas, as opposed to Xmas, Chrismas, Chris the mouse or even the god-forsaken 'crimbo'. I'll call it what I like, and will spell it correctly, spank you berry much.
So, let the festivities roll!
-
The Dickyblog Christmas Party!!!
Yahoo! Sit down, drink some of the mulled wine, have a mince pie or two, stick on a Christmas song CD and relax. Or of course, pick one of DJ Chard's Christmas Classic Remixes (copyright MCDaveMcC) with such destroyed classics as:
Rocking Around the Artificial Christmas Tree
I Wish I Could Be Sober Everyday
'Frosty' the Modern Business Woman
Loud Night (due to partying people)
Send the Cavalry to Iraq
Santa Claus is Gunning You Down
I'm Dreaming of A White Woman
Rocket Around the Christmas Tree (Star Wars Missle Defence Refix)
And many many more!
Or why not try some traditional party games? Or for the more adventurous/masochistic, why not attempt one of these original DickyBlog patented games?
Christmas Samurai/Jedi
A fun costume and great for those last minute fancydress party worries!
You will need:
Two Cardboard Tubes (the kind you get in the centre of wrapping paper is ideal)
Optional - tennis racket or a third cardboard tube
Picture
1) Take one of the two tubes and tear along the existing spiralling bond.
2) Wrap around sword arm (usually right). This forms the gauntlet! You need protection from the others who dress up as this no?
3) Pretend the other tube is a sword/lightsaber. You will end up looking like this! (For the Jedi amongst you, a little imagination later and this!)
4) For extra fun, use another tube or tennis racket to simulate a second weapon!
Jedi Version
Normal version
And you're done! Now challenge the nearest Padawan/Ronin and have fun! First to 10 wins!
(Thanks to Teradud and his gimp for the lightsaber pictures)
-
But the party has only begun! London and a wedding to go yet! See you tomorrow, if not, then on the 25th!
Frohe Weinachten
Darth 'chard
So, let the festivities roll!
-
The Dickyblog Christmas Party!!!
Yahoo! Sit down, drink some of the mulled wine, have a mince pie or two, stick on a Christmas song CD and relax. Or of course, pick one of DJ Chard's Christmas Classic Remixes (copyright MCDaveMcC) with such destroyed classics as:
Rocking Around the Artificial Christmas Tree
I Wish I Could Be Sober Everyday
'Frosty' the Modern Business Woman
Loud Night (due to partying people)
Send the Cavalry to Iraq
Santa Claus is Gunning You Down
I'm Dreaming of A White Woman
Rocket Around the Christmas Tree (Star Wars Missle Defence Refix)
And many many more!
Or why not try some traditional party games? Or for the more adventurous/masochistic, why not attempt one of these original DickyBlog patented games?
Christmas Samurai/Jedi
A fun costume and great for those last minute fancydress party worries!
You will need:
Two Cardboard Tubes (the kind you get in the centre of wrapping paper is ideal)
Optional - tennis racket or a third cardboard tube
Picture
1) Take one of the two tubes and tear along the existing spiralling bond.
2) Wrap around sword arm (usually right). This forms the gauntlet! You need protection from the others who dress up as this no?
3) Pretend the other tube is a sword/lightsaber. You will end up looking like this! (For the Jedi amongst you, a little imagination later and this!)
4) For extra fun, use another tube or tennis racket to simulate a second weapon!
Jedi Version
Normal version
And you're done! Now challenge the nearest Padawan/Ronin and have fun! First to 10 wins!
(Thanks to Teradud and his gimp for the lightsaber pictures)
-
But the party has only begun! London and a wedding to go yet! See you tomorrow, if not, then on the 25th!
Frohe Weinachten
Darth 'chard
December 17, 2004
I'll be the Roundabout
... the words willl make you out-and-out.
Short post today. Last day of term today, and my itinerary (see last post) was followed, with some minor additions:
- Rain
- Caberet in assembly
- Hot Chocolate at Wendy's
- Star Ocean: Till The End Of Time
- Star Wars Episode IV
Lots of rain. Lots.
-
I hate the Channel 4 line up tonight. Look at this schedule of classic programming:
21:00 The Simpsons
21:30 Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere
22:00 Peep Show
22:35 Father Ted Xmas Special
How you torment me so!!!
-
I have a christmas gift for all of you! I will give you clues of it every time i post until christmas!
Clue 1
"FADE IN
We are on a dark cobbled street, a sign hanging limp in the wind tells us we are in FAVERSHAM HIGHSTREET, we PAN across the street to a bunch of FIVE CHAVS, they are adorned in baseball caps, goldy looking chains, and sports casual wear. They are pushing an OLD LADY and talking loudly:
CHAV 1 (To old lady): Innit Bruv, Why went ya give ma no moneee?
OLD LADY (Frightened): Please just leave me alone, I only have my pension!
A rustling is heard in the background, the chavs turn in fear, the rustling stops, and we PULLBACK to reveal CHAVHUNTER standing over the CHAVS he is wearing a black leather jacket and a silver hockey mask, the OLD LADY looks smug.
CHAVHUNTER: Will you chavs never learn!
CHAVHUNTER strikes out with a bullwhip, removing all of the CHAVS baseball caps which land neatly in the OLD LADY'S hand.
CHAVHUNTER: (To old lady) Go home! and if they come near you again, wear one of their hats, they will think your one of them.
OLD LADY: Thankyou Chavhunter! Godbless you!
The OLD LADY scurries off into the distance and OUT OF SHOT. RACK PAN to the face of CHAV 1, we see a look of TERROR and then a fist smashing into his face, he FALLS unconcious, OUT OF SHOT.
FADE TO BLACKFADE TO a PLAYGROUND some time later, we see the FIVE CHAVS hanging upside down by their feet, they are only wearing their underwear, a POLICEMAN is surveying the scene, investigating.
CHAV 2 (To policeman) Cam-on bruv, let us daawn?!
POLICEMAN (Laughing) Nope sorry, that would interupt the crime scene, we've got to leave you up there until forensics arrive.
CHAV 2 F*cking gavers! Haw lon is dat gonna tayke?!
POLICEMAN (looking at watch) Ohhh about three hours I reckon, if your lucky
The POLICEMAN walks off laughing to himself, we FAST PAN to a rooftop some distance away from the PLAYGROUND. CHAVHUNTER is crouched surveying the scene. He crunches a burberry baseball cap in his fist.
FADE TO CREDITS
Chavhunting, it's gotta start sometime?!"
December 16, 2004
'Peace out players!'
Geez, i really need to do this more often! Ok, last friday was a whole bunch of crazy fun and ludicrousness. 'twas some church youth thing/disco event/ FOOD soirée. And, in true style, much fun was had. Saturday I spent much of at Sarah's, which of course was all very nice and fun, erm didnt do much on sunday... or monday... tuesday I finished every maths retard oops retake lesson I'm going to have, heard Isobel play 'Don't Speak' live again, and damn are they good, and managed to buy EVERYONE's christmas present this year, despite not actually knowing what the hell i was giving to anyone... wednesday I also went to Sarah's and much fun was had again, despite the fact i wasn't there long *sniff*.
Then at last we get to today, the last day where I would have any school lessons for 2004, say goodbye to two of my teachers and miss a lesson entirely...
-
So yes, no more lessons. Both of mine tomorrow are taken up with other engagements, despite me really hoping I'd get some drama lessons before leaving. Also, two of my temporary teachers are leaving for other pastures. Him With The Hair is going to teach at Hayes *poor man* and Miss Hodge is going to an unknown future of dramatic fun. So all the best to both of them, just wished she'd lightened up a touch and he'd been given a razor. SHAVE IT MAN!
When it comes to soppy romantic plots and really emotional scenes of that nature; I am such a sucker for them.
Examples of this sort of film include: Notting Hill, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Love, Actually, Keeping the Faith, heck, Final Fantasy X. You get the idea.
Not sure if it's anything to do with my tender teenage years (bloody hormones) but since watching Love, Actually I've been far more susceptable to these very nauseating scenes of hopeless soppy romance. It could all be Sarah's fault of course...
But digression takes place. Garden State's basic premise is that small-time actor Andrew Largemann (Scrub's Zach Braff, who also wrote and directed) is a 20-something man who has been on prescribed anti-depressants since the age of 11, and thus has felt no strong emotion due to a constant state of calm. Then, his estranged father (who prescribed the anti-depressants) calls him to tell him that his paraplegic mother has died. He goes from his home in Los Angeles to his childhood home in New Jersey (the Garden State) for her funeral, but leaves his drugs at home, determined to know what it is to feel again. At the funeral he runs into an old friend of his from high school, Mark, who is now a drugged up, slacking grave-digger.
Andrew then goes to a neurologist about headaches he is having, and in the waiting-room, he meets Sam (Natalie Portman, in her best role since Léon) an epileptic and slightly strange young girl.
And it goes on from there.
Even during watching the film the same words were running through my head: 'Buy it buy it buy it buy it'. As an independant film, it does have many markable differences from the conventional Hollywood rom/com. To be frank, this film isn't really a rom/com. There is an element of humour, but it much too spaced and subtle to be classed as a comedy. While it has been criticised for what appears to be a typical Hollywood ending, I think that, while similar, it is different enough to fit the film. All the loose ends aren't tied up for one thing, and we aren't really given much closure, but this fits in with a theme played on a lot in the film : 'That's life'.
What i really like about the film was the competent direction from Zach Braff. Some cuts are admittedly a little iffy, and a few stylistic techniques are used seemingly for the sake of it. Still, there are some great moments, most of them during the scenes with Portman and Braff, and some great moments in the script.
Great film. Damn indie...
Peace out players!
Then at last we get to today, the last day where I would have any school lessons for 2004, say goodbye to two of my teachers and miss a lesson entirely...
-
So yes, no more lessons. Both of mine tomorrow are taken up with other engagements, despite me really hoping I'd get some drama lessons before leaving. Also, two of my temporary teachers are leaving for other pastures. Him With The Hair is going to teach at Hayes *poor man* and Miss Hodge is going to an unknown future of dramatic fun. So all the best to both of them, just wished she'd lightened up a touch and he'd been given a razor. SHAVE IT MAN!
Tomorrow basically shapes up AS:
- Go in
- Go to registration (on time)
- leave registration
- walk home
- do nothing for 2 hours
- go to school
- have assembly
- go to registration
- go home
- waste away
Boring huh? Even English literature would be preferable. But it's my last lessons of 2004! Tragic!
-
But i digress. I'll get onto reminiscience during my Christmas post. Today I had another great Film Studies trip! Another lovely train powered jaunt into London to see a film! During school hours as well! Bliss!
The film in question was Garden State. So, without much further ado:
DickyBod's Film Review III
Garden State
When it comes to soppy romantic plots and really emotional scenes of that nature; I am such a sucker for them.
Examples of this sort of film include: Notting Hill, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Love, Actually, Keeping the Faith, heck, Final Fantasy X. You get the idea.
Not sure if it's anything to do with my tender teenage years (bloody hormones) but since watching Love, Actually I've been far more susceptable to these very nauseating scenes of hopeless soppy romance. It could all be Sarah's fault of course...
But digression takes place. Garden State's basic premise is that small-time actor Andrew Largemann (Scrub's Zach Braff, who also wrote and directed) is a 20-something man who has been on prescribed anti-depressants since the age of 11, and thus has felt no strong emotion due to a constant state of calm. Then, his estranged father (who prescribed the anti-depressants) calls him to tell him that his paraplegic mother has died. He goes from his home in Los Angeles to his childhood home in New Jersey (the Garden State) for her funeral, but leaves his drugs at home, determined to know what it is to feel again. At the funeral he runs into an old friend of his from high school, Mark, who is now a drugged up, slacking grave-digger.
Andrew then goes to a neurologist about headaches he is having, and in the waiting-room, he meets Sam (Natalie Portman, in her best role since Léon) an epileptic and slightly strange young girl.
And it goes on from there.
Even during watching the film the same words were running through my head: 'Buy it buy it buy it buy it'. As an independant film, it does have many markable differences from the conventional Hollywood rom/com. To be frank, this film isn't really a rom/com. There is an element of humour, but it much too spaced and subtle to be classed as a comedy. While it has been criticised for what appears to be a typical Hollywood ending, I think that, while similar, it is different enough to fit the film. All the loose ends aren't tied up for one thing, and we aren't really given much closure, but this fits in with a theme played on a lot in the film : 'That's life'.
What i really like about the film was the competent direction from Zach Braff. Some cuts are admittedly a little iffy, and a few stylistic techniques are used seemingly for the sake of it. Still, there are some great moments, most of them during the scenes with Portman and Braff, and some great moments in the script.
Great film. Damn indie...
Peace out players!
December 12, 2004
For the love of all things fraggable!!
Whoa, there's a few things to blog about! Nervous laughter out of the way, I shall summarise all that occured over the last week! Nice and simple no?
-
FRIDAY
Little. Watched some more of Kenneth Branagh in Henry V in english, and drama was as fun as drama always is!
SATURDAY
Sarah came home! Wootage!
SUNDAY
Photo fantasticness approaching. Confirmantion time! Essentially me kneeling in front o' t3h Bishop and 'confirming' (see what they did there?) my faith in Christ. Get the idea? Photos:
I'm putting on my tie... Mr. Anderson...
Me and Nick attempting to look vaguely suave
Bishop Brennon, erm i mean Nick and I
Josh intoxicating himself
'Get yer 'ands offa my woman you flicking motherfather!' (ahem)
ARG the hideousness of the me!!!
Damn, didn't come out. Still, this is Aston (left) and Martin (right). ASTON MARTIN!
The incredibly stylish ways of the Louise
And All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Monday-Thursday
School school school... Tuesday was very empty, due to the well documented physics trip, I have nearly completed the soon to be irrelevant maths retake coursework, I got all the certificates form my GCSE's I found out when the next Film studies trip is, we nearly finished reading Spring Awakening, erm... had parents evening on thursday evening, before going to Sarah's and then to JAGS to see some wierd play called Yerma... saw the A2 drama productions on wednesday... thats about it...
I shall do the rest tomorrow. avast ye!
-
FRIDAY
Little. Watched some more of Kenneth Branagh in Henry V in english, and drama was as fun as drama always is!
SATURDAY
Sarah came home! Wootage!
SUNDAY
Photo fantasticness approaching. Confirmantion time! Essentially me kneeling in front o' t3h Bishop and 'confirming' (see what they did there?) my faith in Christ. Get the idea? Photos:
I'm putting on my tie... Mr. Anderson...
Me and Nick attempting to look vaguely suave
Bishop Brennon, erm i mean Nick and I
Josh intoxicating himself
'Get yer 'ands offa my woman you flicking motherfather!' (ahem)
ARG the hideousness of the me!!!
Damn, didn't come out. Still, this is Aston (left) and Martin (right). ASTON MARTIN!
The incredibly stylish ways of the Louise
And All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Monday-Thursday
School school school... Tuesday was very empty, due to the well documented physics trip, I have nearly completed the soon to be irrelevant maths retake coursework, I got all the certificates form my GCSE's I found out when the next Film studies trip is, we nearly finished reading Spring Awakening, erm... had parents evening on thursday evening, before going to Sarah's and then to JAGS to see some wierd play called Yerma... saw the A2 drama productions on wednesday... thats about it...
I shall do the rest tomorrow. avast ye!
December 01, 2004
What a very pleasant day...
Contrary to what the end of yesterday's post said, 'twas not the rigours of Contact Badminton that would have tired me out from being able to post. In fact, horror of horrors, I didn't even get to school today. As the title of the post would suggest, I had a very pleasant day, or at least pleasant in contrast to what I was doing most of last night and early morning.
-
But enough of that horrible unpleasantness. To the point o' the post. See? I can do what I said I would! ph33r me!
The Dickyblog Games Review
Issue 2
'Killzone'
Ahh, sweet gaming bliss! My first PS2 FPS! And what a stunner it is too! Most fantabulous thanks to the ever brilliant Stompp for purchasing it for me!
Ok, i'll get the obvious out of the way first: This game ain't better than Halo. In fact, comparing Killzone to Halo is sort of like comparing Horizon to The Simpsons. They're both television programmes, both a great work of fiction, but there the similarity ends. I've had enough of Halo fanboys who will instantly start bitching at me when I mention Killzone, saying such choice phrases as:
"It's terrible, it just copies Halo in everything"
"The weapon reloads take ages"
And even:
"OMGOGMGM H@0 r t3h R0xx0rs lolol gt n Xb0X j00 n00b!!!111 ROFL"
I have played both of the games (something you lamer-gamers should try) and there is so much difference between them it's exasperating just to hear this mindless drivel constantly repeated at me on the forums. And, ironic as it is, I am going to compare them! Simply because they're different enough, and I don't listen to what I say myself. I've no clue...
Helghast vs. Convenant
In case you didn't notice, each of those lovely bold pronouns is in fact a link! Click and gaze upon the happy people in question! Do i even need to explain the dissimilarity?
The Helghast
The inhabitants of the planet Helghan. They left earth to escape oppression, and landed on Helghan (think those Puritan smurfs colonising America). However, Helghan's less than healthy air and atmosphere poisoned the inhabitants, and basically made most of them psychotic, ugly, and unable to breath without respiration equiptment.
In an attempt to gain some revenge for having to leave Earth, the Helghast attempted to invade Earth, and by the end of the First Helghast War, the Helghast gave up, packed up and scuttled their orange-eyed behinds back to Helghan.
Then they decided to do it again, invading the planet Vekta. And thus the game does it's thang.
The Covenant
As far as I understand it, a group of alien races that follow a similar religious code. Ranging from the screeching little Grunts and Jackels, to the large and imposing Elites and Hunters.
So, militaristic and grudging Helghast, and overly religious Covenant. Oh yeh, What a rip-off...
Anyway, enough ranting at simple-minded n00bs (by the way, most of this anger is derived from that fool Paul, so if no-one else could take offense that would be fine and dandy.)
Killzone is a game that does take some getting used to. The reload times are a touch exaggerated, in that while lengthy, do not exactly give you enough time to regain your bearings in a firefight. there are a few graphical issues, with there being quite a bit of noticable glitching during play and some real oddities (it's not often you find yourself exchanging bullets with a floating gun and pair of goggles). The POV camera is more realistic than in most FPS's. While it does give a sense of realism (whose head isn't going to move when throwing a grenade?) it all to often can disorient, meaning the grenade flies a good few yards to the left of the inteded target. Still, this becomes somewhat of a minor fault, as extended play and practise means that you can get used to the movement and learn to compensate.
Even for a game set in the future, it's nice to see a lack of neon lighted weaponery and lasers. The weapon's look great, in a nutshell. The melée (location specific you Halo people) attacks are accompanied with a very nice animation with face meeting rifle butt, and do look like they hurt. Then there are the knives. Play as Luger and your knife will quickly open jugulars with the greatest of ease, or play as Hakha and throw it into the Helghast's neck before pulling it out.
The only weapon I have a problem with is the grenade launcher, and that's more a programming error. Even with full ammo, you will randomly reload for no reason with no prompting, and then be unable to fire it. Fortunately this hasn't happened anywhere vital, like in the middle of a fight, so it's not too bad. Another slight gripe is the availiability of some weapons. The Helghast Light Assualt Rifle is found everywhere, while the Helghast Missile Launcher and the Laser Designator are found on only 1 level. And while the LD is actually useful, the Missile Launcher you never actually need to use, which is a pity as it's quite a nice weapon. The Squad Cannon still gets me drooling!
The levels are nice and lengthy, something I admired about Halo. The game took me a total of 10 hours to complete on Easy, and I aim to do Normal once I have got through FFX, or when Winter-een-mas rolls around. The checkpoints in each level are usually spaced just as you need them. Many is the time I've barely scraped through a huge battle, hoping for a checkpoint, only to reach one after a few steps, but many times (especially in the later stages) it can be a frustrating exercise having to replay a part of a level several times due to an unreachable checkpoint.
Another gripe is the level start. At the end of each stage of a level, you keep the weapons and ammo you have for the next stage, meaning you're all tooled up for whatever faces you. However, at the start of every level, you're stripped down to your basic equipment. While not so bad if your playing as Rico (who starts with one of the best infantry weapons) it can be tiresome starting a level only to have to retool over again. This point is really driven home at the start of the final level, when you start outside a room containing about 9 Helghast with superior weaponary, and you have to try and either kill them all using more cover than nessecary, or risk going into the open to grab one of their guns.
One thing I didn't like about Halo was the single player on co-op. The level could seem too long on a second play. However, where Halo came into it's own more was in it's multiplayer! Killzone, by contrast a) doesn't actually have co-op play an b) isn't great at split-screen. The frame rate suffers dramatically, and since the aiming has to be precise even in single player, this makes shooting damn near impossible unless you're toe to toe. Also, it seems to suffer from what dub: The ISA/Helghast (delete as applicable) Explosion Rule. For example, if you're playing as ISA, it's the Helghast Explosion rule. The rule is as follows:
For every 1 explosion needed to kill you, 4 are needed on the Helghast
Many is the time I've dropped an entire load of grenades at an opponent's feet, only to have him walk out of the smoke calm as ever. However, it invariably takes only 1 (no matter how inaccurate) blast to kill me. Still, while Halo and Halo 2 have their Blood Gulch and Coagulation (respectively), Killzone has it's own best map : Beachhead. Sweeeeet! Split-screen is a terrible way to play Killzone, especially since it only supports 2 players. This is another reason I want my PS2 online (hint, hint).
-
But, damn do I love this game. Even for all it's faults, when I meet them i just smile and try again. I have yet to get completely stressed out at this game, and it will take some real injustice to make it happen. I wouldn't spend 10 hours killing 2019 Helghast if this game wasn't great. And it is. Oh man, it is great!
Goodnight
Richard
-
But enough of that horrible unpleasantness. To the point o' the post. See? I can do what I said I would! ph33r me!
The Dickyblog Games Review
Issue 2
'Killzone'
Ahh, sweet gaming bliss! My first PS2 FPS! And what a stunner it is too! Most fantabulous thanks to the ever brilliant Stompp for purchasing it for me!
Ok, i'll get the obvious out of the way first: This game ain't better than Halo. In fact, comparing Killzone to Halo is sort of like comparing Horizon to The Simpsons. They're both television programmes, both a great work of fiction, but there the similarity ends. I've had enough of Halo fanboys who will instantly start bitching at me when I mention Killzone, saying such choice phrases as:
"It's terrible, it just copies Halo in everything"
"The weapon reloads take ages"
And even:
"OMGOGMGM H@0 r t3h R0xx0rs lolol gt n Xb0X j00 n00b!!!111 ROFL"
I have played both of the games (something you lamer-gamers should try) and there is so much difference between them it's exasperating just to hear this mindless drivel constantly repeated at me on the forums. And, ironic as it is, I am going to compare them! Simply because they're different enough, and I don't listen to what I say myself. I've no clue...
Helghast vs. Convenant
In case you didn't notice, each of those lovely bold pronouns is in fact a link! Click and gaze upon the happy people in question! Do i even need to explain the dissimilarity?
The Helghast
The inhabitants of the planet Helghan. They left earth to escape oppression, and landed on Helghan (think those Puritan smurfs colonising America). However, Helghan's less than healthy air and atmosphere poisoned the inhabitants, and basically made most of them psychotic, ugly, and unable to breath without respiration equiptment.
In an attempt to gain some revenge for having to leave Earth, the Helghast attempted to invade Earth, and by the end of the First Helghast War, the Helghast gave up, packed up and scuttled their orange-eyed behinds back to Helghan.
Then they decided to do it again, invading the planet Vekta. And thus the game does it's thang.
The Covenant
As far as I understand it, a group of alien races that follow a similar religious code. Ranging from the screeching little Grunts and Jackels, to the large and imposing Elites and Hunters.
So, militaristic and grudging Helghast, and overly religious Covenant. Oh yeh, What a rip-off...
Anyway, enough ranting at simple-minded n00bs (by the way, most of this anger is derived from that fool Paul, so if no-one else could take offense that would be fine and dandy.)
Killzone is a game that does take some getting used to. The reload times are a touch exaggerated, in that while lengthy, do not exactly give you enough time to regain your bearings in a firefight. there are a few graphical issues, with there being quite a bit of noticable glitching during play and some real oddities (it's not often you find yourself exchanging bullets with a floating gun and pair of goggles). The POV camera is more realistic than in most FPS's. While it does give a sense of realism (whose head isn't going to move when throwing a grenade?) it all to often can disorient, meaning the grenade flies a good few yards to the left of the inteded target. Still, this becomes somewhat of a minor fault, as extended play and practise means that you can get used to the movement and learn to compensate.
Even for a game set in the future, it's nice to see a lack of neon lighted weaponery and lasers. The weapon's look great, in a nutshell. The melée (location specific you Halo people) attacks are accompanied with a very nice animation with face meeting rifle butt, and do look like they hurt. Then there are the knives. Play as Luger and your knife will quickly open jugulars with the greatest of ease, or play as Hakha and throw it into the Helghast's neck before pulling it out.
The only weapon I have a problem with is the grenade launcher, and that's more a programming error. Even with full ammo, you will randomly reload for no reason with no prompting, and then be unable to fire it. Fortunately this hasn't happened anywhere vital, like in the middle of a fight, so it's not too bad. Another slight gripe is the availiability of some weapons. The Helghast Light Assualt Rifle is found everywhere, while the Helghast Missile Launcher and the Laser Designator are found on only 1 level. And while the LD is actually useful, the Missile Launcher you never actually need to use, which is a pity as it's quite a nice weapon. The Squad Cannon still gets me drooling!
The levels are nice and lengthy, something I admired about Halo. The game took me a total of 10 hours to complete on Easy, and I aim to do Normal once I have got through FFX, or when Winter-een-mas rolls around. The checkpoints in each level are usually spaced just as you need them. Many is the time I've barely scraped through a huge battle, hoping for a checkpoint, only to reach one after a few steps, but many times (especially in the later stages) it can be a frustrating exercise having to replay a part of a level several times due to an unreachable checkpoint.
Another gripe is the level start. At the end of each stage of a level, you keep the weapons and ammo you have for the next stage, meaning you're all tooled up for whatever faces you. However, at the start of every level, you're stripped down to your basic equipment. While not so bad if your playing as Rico (who starts with one of the best infantry weapons) it can be tiresome starting a level only to have to retool over again. This point is really driven home at the start of the final level, when you start outside a room containing about 9 Helghast with superior weaponary, and you have to try and either kill them all using more cover than nessecary, or risk going into the open to grab one of their guns.
One thing I didn't like about Halo was the single player on co-op. The level could seem too long on a second play. However, where Halo came into it's own more was in it's multiplayer! Killzone, by contrast a) doesn't actually have co-op play an b) isn't great at split-screen. The frame rate suffers dramatically, and since the aiming has to be precise even in single player, this makes shooting damn near impossible unless you're toe to toe. Also, it seems to suffer from what dub: The ISA/Helghast (delete as applicable) Explosion Rule. For example, if you're playing as ISA, it's the Helghast Explosion rule. The rule is as follows:
For every 1 explosion needed to kill you, 4 are needed on the Helghast
Many is the time I've dropped an entire load of grenades at an opponent's feet, only to have him walk out of the smoke calm as ever. However, it invariably takes only 1 (no matter how inaccurate) blast to kill me. Still, while Halo and Halo 2 have their Blood Gulch and Coagulation (respectively), Killzone has it's own best map : Beachhead. Sweeeeet! Split-screen is a terrible way to play Killzone, especially since it only supports 2 players. This is another reason I want my PS2 online (hint, hint).
-
But, damn do I love this game. Even for all it's faults, when I meet them i just smile and try again. I have yet to get completely stressed out at this game, and it will take some real injustice to make it happen. I wouldn't spend 10 hours killing 2019 Helghast if this game wasn't great. And it is. Oh man, it is great!
Goodnight
Richard
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