You Nork!!!

Or even New York.

Yes, this is te long awaited post on that apple hit by a stray engorgement charm, the remake of Old York or, as it is mostly called, New York.

DISCLAIMER : This blog will feature up to 200 photographs. If you've read Dave's blog you might appreciate exactly how many that is. I cannot be held responsible for any offense caused by any of these photos, or the appearance of yours truly. I can't help that ok? *Sob*

DAY 1 : WEDNESDAY 3.30am

Man was it dark. The school is really quite spooky at that time in the morning. After registering with Herr Savill, I went to the coach and awaited the approach of Dave J and Louis. When they did finally arrive, we entered the coach and did await the departure, which eventually came at about 4am. I did steal half of Dave's Zen, and helped him listen to his musical delights, which unfortunatley let to Nightwish's Sleepwalker being forced out of my head in favour of Muse's Stockholm Syndrome. Another moment of wierdness was passing by the end of Sa's road on our way to Heathrow, something that was kinda wierd...

We eventually arrived at the airport with the row upon row of Edward Heath impressionists, and we proceeded inwards to do that whole checking in gig. We then were allowed to run amok around Heathrow, something that probably wasn't a wise move of the part of admin, but hey. After my last purchase with real money of a tuna sandwich from Pret á/é Manger and GamesTM from WHSmiths, we boarded the plane, and it hit me how nervous I suddenly was. I've never actually been out of Europe before, let alone by plane. Suddenly I was faced with a 6 and a half hour journey against the rotation of the Earth...across water...

Still, take off seemed to leave all my apprehensions on the ground with it,and I was able to relax for most of the way, with the aid of a few plastic cups of water, The Incredibles (for which my dad now hates me :P) and a few glances across the aisle to exchange meaningful looks with Louis, but not in an overtly homoerotic way.

We then touched down, after having had a few light sniggers at the immigration form's questions:

Are you a drug addict/abuser? (how many LPBS students lied there?)
Were you a member of the Nazi regime of 1939 to 1945? (Nein...ahem...)
Have you ever lived for some time as a hermit or wildman? (slipping into Bill Bailey here)

After having my photograph taken and fingerprints scanned (for some reason) we got our baggage, and had to wait for 20 minutes for Sami Yusef to establish to those American Idiots at customs that yes, he could speak English, and no he wasn't a terrorist. Sigh, such paranoia. We left the airport, and the first impression I got of America was that, as Dave correctly said, it smelled very strongly of Pizza. Which lightened my spirits completely for some reason. Anyway, we hopped onto the coach, avoiding the clouds of nicotine filled smoke emanating from several of our number (including Savill), and proceeded to drive off into the unknown. Me and dave sat side by side, linked umbilically via the medium of his Creative Zen earphones Along the way, the influx of oddities came thick and fast, and this reduced me to the state of Chinese Tourist as my shutter finger worked to keep up with each sign I saw. Apologies to the gimpin' crew, but I failed to get a photo of a sign that said "Yield". These signs included (pictures startin' here folks!):

A man showing his love for his dog, in license plate form.
A new scheme to find homes for abandoned roadways
A yellow school bus, devoid of children!
The bus driver with no name...
Agent Smith starring in his own ABC series.
The employee graveyard (this was huge...)
A sign showing the authorities inability to spell 'money'
A hasty attempt by the council to repair trees that have been cut down
A fallout shelter! What a find!

It was on this journey that the bus actually broke down, and we were treated to 10 minutes of no movement while it was hastily attempted to be fixed. It was indeed fixed eventually, and we set off to the Hotel. Upon reaching it, it was first noticed that, in a theatre just opposite our hotel a performance was on that many English Literature students gazed at with a look only given to severe coincidences. In case you don't get it, we're studying it. After some cofuffle, we traipsed off to our rooms for a while, to allow us time to get used to the dwellings within which we were to be encased for the trip. It was actually rather nice on the whole, complete with a mysterious cupboard, whose wood finish gave no hint to the magical contents contained therein. The enigma had Dave left enrapt in a state of utmost perplexion, while he pondered upon the possible use of this storage space. After actually opening this Pandora's Box, (or Dave's box, as it was then renamed) it was found to contain the room's television. So the mystery was solved without danger to life and limb, and there was another feather in the cap of 'chard Investigations Limited.The mirror also held some mysteries. Who was the pale, blonde haired figure bathed in light in it's reflection?

Anyway, back to sanity now, as my noodles are starting to cook. As you can see from our hotel's window view, New York really doesn't have much of a horizon, due to the tallity of several (well, most) of the buildings. Ah, and here is the l337 crew themselves, Wendy, myself and Dave, courtesy of the self timer on my camera.

After a little rest and relaxation, in which we all sang for absolution, we packed up our souls and bade farewell to the hotel room. We walked through the dark, demon infested streets, through Times Square and its many adverts. Along the way, as our journey took us further and further into the depths of Manhatten, I decided to have a look around the rooftops for Spiderman or anyone contemplating suicide. Nope, not here... Or here... It seemed that my search might turn out to be unfulfilled, and even foolhardy. This was emphasised when MCPicardMcC shot some proton torpedoes from his Enterprise at me as I looked at the third rooftop. Deftly dodged, we moved on.

Eventually we came to Radio City, a place that evidently had some affiliation to loud musical groups, which came with tall building as standard. It was at this point that some of our number backtracked to the said loud musical group performing of the moment, by the name of Interpol. Evidently a branch of the secret service getting closer to the youth of today. The rest went off and generally wandered about. A few others and I decided to go and look for food, considering that we'd been up for over 40 hours with little time to eat. So, we set off, on the way passing St. Patrick's Cathedral, dwarfed by the surrounding skyscrapers, and a sign that showed just how volatile the traffic police ('cops') in New York are. A quick right turn took us in view of the Rockefeller Centre propa'. Well, the bottom of it at least, but, by manipulating our neck muscles we were able to tilt our line of sight sufficiently to allow our brains to interpret the sight of this rather tall building (note, it doesnt actually lean. That's just my shoddy camera work...)

We walked towards this monstrosity of architecture, to the ice rink in its shadow. there we found a golden statue (not plated in tin) of Prometheus, who seemed to be having as much difficulty staying upright on the ice as Natalie. We moved on, desperately seeking solid sustenance to sate our hunger. We walked around searching for somewhere that could feed us, and I was rather worried to note that Radio City seemed to be expected another terrorist attack in April. At least they were forewarned i guess... Eventually we settled for the chav-tastic McDonalds, which amused me greatly by letting me know that there was emergency resuscitation equiptment in the restaurant (snigger) and also letting me know how to perform CPR and the Heimlich maneuveur. Now THAT'S customer service! After eating we returned to the centre of the Rockefeller, which was now standing upright

We stood at the sidelines of the icerink for a while, watching all the cold merriments, camera at the ready for anyone falling over. At the designated time, we wandered off to the meeting point, and were rather alarmed to see that, not only had Dave broken federal law, but that the meeting place was home to two police vehicles, and an unmarked van... who had a very unfriendly bloke standing outside it... carrying one of these. I would have actually taken a photo, but I like my life spank you berry much. We watched these people with some concern, before they got into their respective vehicles and left. Most perplexing.

We left then, were registered, and went back to the hotel, and drifted soundly off to sleep.

And day 1 was over! Hooray!

NOTE: This day was recovered from a Word document I saved the post on. I had almost completed the post, but blogger decided to be a biatch and delete it, so I started again. I'm posting it day by day, to stop you moany beggars moaning that I havent posted. Stay 'posted' (geddit) for day 2...