When last we left the intrepid Ted he was no longer the bee he was remembered as by his hive mates. Yesterday we saw him as a weak, pathetic figure. We saw how he trained with the flies to make himself stronger ( and I skillfully avoided the 'little grasshopper' pun) and how he met the kindly farmer, who told him of the invasion of the wasps

Mimi says:
I don't it...

We watched in awe as he sped forth to battle the wasps, fashioning weapons from foliage as he had been taught, and saving the bee Ted from his slavery

Mimi says:
I still don't get it

We saw hundreds of XBOX360 buyers left disappointed as Microsoft decided to piss everyone off in time for Christmas. We saw the fog get even worse, and the weather get colder. But that was the tale of yestere'en

Mimi says:
Please explain the grasshopper pun

Tonight we focus on the remainder of his story, and the valiant battle for the hive, as well as pointing out to the esteemed reader that she really needs to watch the Karate Kid, cos thats a damn good film and would stoip her going on about the grasshoppers, when it is in fact a really pointless part of the tale

Mimi says:
Ah, so it's about a film I haven't watched! I don't think I can be expected to understand that

However, never being one to shy from pointlessness, i shall explain. The KArate Kid's mentor, Mr Miyagi would refer to the small thing as "Little Grasshopper". The pun works cos teds small and an insect. And so, at the end of this prologue, the narrator begins with Ted surrounded by thousands of wasps, facing certain loss in combat. And also telling Sarah to sit down and SHUT UP!!!

Mimi says:
«I remains silent»

You'd better... Ahem, anyway.

Ted and Ted looked at each other with a buzzed panic in their antennae. The Wasps hovered ominously above them, their low humming sounding through the trees n exactly the same way that a lawnmower suspended from a branch would. At the very moment however, when all seemed lost, the farmer burst through the wall of wasps, a lawnmower in hand, beekeeping equipment covering him, cutting a swathe through the tyrannical beasts. Ted and Ted looked at each other, and with a shrill BZZT of delight they shot forward through the cloud of confused wasps.

On and on they flew, through low leaves, over thick boughs, several wasps still hot in pursuit of the pair. Ted glanced over his shoulder and slowed to a hover, while the other Ted shot forward into the hollow of a tree. Ted raised the blade of grass and yelled at the wasps his challenge; "Back Vespidae!" (what Ted lacked in brawn, he made up for in brain.Though he of course now has brawn also, so the statement is a little nulled by this point in the narrative.)

There where 7 wasps in total in the chase, but 5 decided at this point that turning back, flying to the hive and putting their feet up would actually be quite a nice idea this time on a sunday afternoon. The remaining two laughed a shrill and waspish laugh at Ted's feeble words and slowly advanced. Ted steadied his grip on the Grass Blade and raised it above his head with two hands, whilst the other two held the leaf shield ready at his side (bees have 4 arms, two legs, remember?).

The Wasps, which were incidentally called Laura and Sarah, (Females as workers remember, plus since these wasps wont be around much longer to worry about having much of an identity I can afford to pointlessly give them names. Parallels to the Jearums are purely coincidental.) shot forward, stings raised, ready and sharp. Ted raised the shield high, but the sharp needle point of the sting peirced the thin material and stuck. With his spare arm he held tight to the smooth shaft, pinning the wasp to the shield. She flailed wildly and gnashed her jaws, but behind the shield Ted was still out of reach. The other wasp swung in, and Ted blindly waved the Grass Blade, hearing the shrill screech of grass on carapace that signalled a hit. The wasp span out, it wing crumpled and fell into a clump of leaves under a root of a giant oak.

Ted looked the other wasp in the eye and winked. The wasp thrashed angrily, but could not get free from Ted's grip. Ted raised the sword and slapped the flat across the head of the wasp, and it fell dow to the ground next to her partner. Both now had amnesia, hence the not having to worry about identity. I know how to keep a story family friendly.

Ted strapped the sword and shield to his back, and flew into the hollow, where a low yet voluminous buzz of many many bees emanated...

-
Ted's not doing too bad for himself is he?
Proper post tomorrow, and maybe more Ted if i find my muse.

Oh, and happy birthday in -2 minutes Helen. And good luck with the haircut Sarah :)