PolFed is full of crap

No, I'm not being Paulish and disparaging my place of employment. 'tis in fact a most marvellous place. BUt I'll get to the reason of the title later. Kinda like how they have the film after all those trailers. The old philosophy of 'if the line's this long it's got to be good'. So, how long can I make this line?

So, Final Fantasy XII! (3 hour wait from this point...) Ah yes my lovelies, my raisin d'etre, my magnum opus, my Stairway to Heaven, my Return of the King. Well, sort of. Not so much the last 3. OR any of them. But, it is pretty darn sweet. It is however, fecking rock hard, to the point where I've been in danger of waking my parents in the wee hours (not ALWAYS before work of course) with my screams of "FRAN USE CURAGA YOU STUPID WOMAN" or my personal favourite "VAAN YOU CHISLED MONEYMAN, YOUVE GOT A CROSSBOW, YOU DON'T NEED STAND TOE TO TOE WITH A FECKING DRAGON!!!". Which he does. All the fecking time. Ah well, Balthier has Raise gambitted. He usually uses it in time...

But yes, it's certainly different. Lots of not doing much, lots of grinding for a bare pittance of Gil. But, it's all compensated with everything games should have: great graphics, good gameplay, and Fran's older sister. Who. Is. HOT. CAn't find a pic, but still. 'Tsmoking', as Fran would lisp.

84 Charing Cross Road Rehearsals have started! Ah yes indeed, the days I've been longing for since Cinderella ended (all of... 3 months ago? That can't be right... no, no that's right... huh...) have reared their heads, and already my script is adorned with my usual scrawl in the margins detailing exactly HOW I should come in, take an invoice off Amy/Megan, and walk out again 6 seconds later. And these annotations are of course very useful, especially the one for my entrance on page 25 which reads somewhat neutrally "Apparantly I should have books here...". Still, the cast all seem like good people (I say seem, they may yet turn out to be evil...) and Bill isn't even nearly as Eveil as Eve was, so things seem hopeful! I even seem to have my old ASM hanging around again, making some excuse about props to explain her hanging around t62 permanently. Nah I kid, she's lovely is our Ellyroo, even if she did give me a severe beating on Tuesday. Actually, I have a massive bruise on my knee, was that you? Rehearsal in an hour as well...

So yes, your good friend chard is indeed now in gainful employ! For moneys! You know how amazing that is?! I don't actually get paid until monday, but still, it's a nice thought. £6 an hour, 9-4 ish Tuesday's and Thursdays (though I seem to be doing a lot of Fridays as well). And what exactly are the Police Federation of England and Wales having me do for this allowance?

• Refilling Toilet Roll Holders
• Reflling Hand Towel things
• Refilling liquid soap things
• Hulking around large sacks of paper (which shreds your hands up no end)
• Refilling water coolers (bottles at 18.5kg a go, up stairs? Not to be sniffed at)
• Making sure people have the things so they can refill their own damn coffee
• Anything Harry can find, filing, moving paper/deliveries etc etc
• Drinking tea

However, today I had to do something I had been putting off for a few days (Paul me boss commented on this fact when they overflowed on Tuesday, so I wasn't getting away from it today) and something that, if you hadn't guessed, is what inspired the lovely title. Cos, lovely a place as it is, PolFed really IS. So, what was it i was doing? (Some of you have no doubt ventured guesses at this point, so I'm sure you're sitting there either laughing hysterically, or looking quite concerned, or not doing any work you should be doing on the pretext of getting your coffee drunk this morning. Hello mum.)



Yup! Little me was clearing out the drains of gunk and water! Now, let me make it clear. Paul ASSURED me that there wasn't anything... 'unhygienic' in there, just a lot of water and vegetation and the like from the trees. I would like to ASSURE you that I think he was telling the truth. But, oh god it stank. It stank so bad, I'm not even sure his assurances had any wieght whatsoever. I mean, come on...


...your guess is as good as mine... Actually, I tihnk my face says it all:



Don't I look happy?!!!!!!!!!!

Paul has actually developed the habit of being in Leatherhead pretty much once everyday since I've been there, pretty much leaving me to fend for myself and use 'nitiative (it builds character). This does however tend to backfire, as today illustrated: he left a list of things to do (including the drains, and also dismantling a fan and cleaning it) to leave me occupied until lunch. I was pretty much done by the 10.30 break. But ah well, it's not harm done. Gives me time to double check, think of other things to do, learn where everything is in this labyrinthine complex, and otherwise think of more ingenious ways of wasting time. In fact, this kind of culminated today, when I got bored with some stationary and decided to be creative:



I present Chards image of Man, sculpted lovingly from 2 bulldog clips and a stapler remover! Of course, bulldog clips got me thinking of man's best friend, so I decided to invest in a delicious pun:



Meet Bulldog Clip Man's Bulldog Clip bulldog, Clip! (try saying that 3 times fast underwater while makin love to a snail!) I even gav him a lead so he could be taken for walks across verdant green files



Trevilla at this point gave me a look that pretty much told me I was being silly, so I desisted.

A big shout out to Mah Print Room area homies, Harry, Shirley, Steve, Margeret (when she appears) Mum, Trevilla and Paul!

And that's me caught up! (oh no wait, i also got into kent, silly me!). Will no doubt post again in a month. Got to go eat now and then go rehearse, see ya'll later, and for a parting gift have some song lyrics!

This Flesh a Tomb
Atreyu

I feel eyelashes on my cheek
They lacerate my flesh,
A pain so good.
So put your hand in mine, never let go,
Never wake up ‘cause I’m done with promises
I’m taking blood oaths.
Feels like you could kiss
My imperfections, my imperfections away.
And I would stand, stand by your side
Until the sun turns the sky
All the colors I see in your eyes.

And I’ll never need to see the sun again,
There’s enough light in your eyes to light up our little world.
So take me, take me away.
Kill me slowly, I’ll never be the same.

And I swear to you, on everything I am,
And I dedicate to you all that I have
And I promise you that I’ll stand right by your side
Forever and always until the day I die.
The bite marks on my neck never felt so good.
I’m losing control
And it’s all that I can do not to blackout
Fall into lust with you.
Your kisses infect me.
The dark gift is loving you,

And I’ll never need to see the sun again,
There’s enough light in your eyes to light up our little world.
So take me, take me away.
Kill me slowly, I’ll never be the same.

And I feel immortal
And I want to make you feel the same.
So stand by me as we immolate.
We can burn in each other’s arms.
And I feel immortal
And I want to make you feel the same.
So stand by me as we immolate.
We can burn in each other’s arms.

Night night!
Chard

Playing: Fainaru Fantajī Twelve
Reading: Kent booklets
Listening to: 'Trial by Fire' - Blind Guardian
Annoyed with: Hunger
Mood: Knackered
Song currently stuck in head: 'This Flesh a Tomb' - Atreyu
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Tuna 1613' - Therion