A Very Blogger Caption Competition ('chard)

In the style of Bliss's photo guru section, we decided we could easily have a go. In the space of five minutes the shutter was aclicking. So, the challenge to us was this: using only the same 11 photos (variants and omissions allowed) we all have to create our own stories/ advice pages. So, lets get cracking. Note that i know not the subtle art of gimpin', so I couldnt do the speech bubbles, and no other effects other than one. Can you spot it? Answers to the usual address. So, here is my attempt, in true bliss-esque fashion:

"Dear 'Ask 'chard'...

I recently asked my bessie mates round for a game of poker. However, we soon got into a massive fight and it all went wrong! I felt totally gutted, and we're so not talking any more. Could I be pregnant?"

Lets look at the problem:

Jon meets Lewis and the two are talking about such wonderful things as the weather, horses, zorses, and how phenominally STRAIGHT 'chard is (totally in contrast with our questionable bliss photographer). Jon invites Lewis to the Poker game that evening
Lewis calls up 'chard and invites him also. "A poker game? That'd be great! You call the others, I'll see you there"

'chard however, realises he doesn't actually know the rules to poker, so spends some time brushing up...

While 'dr00 answers the phone to Lewis's invitation

As the party gets underway, 'chard overhears a plot between Jon and Dan involving cheating. Lewis also hears this, and plans his revenge

The first few hands are played craftily. Dan, using his cleverly concealed Zen and earpiece, is able to be told the cards of the other players! But Lewis has another trick up his sleeve...

Eventually, that hand is called a draw, although Andrew lost totally, so decided at this point to go slightly mad

Still insane, Drew pointed out the trickery that 'chard and Lewis had undertaken! Lewis hid behind 'chard, while chard answered to the accusatory stares of Dan and Jon

A fight quickly breaks out, and chard is killed in the fray...

Leaving jon and Lewis to come to blows.

The problem here is easily solved. Use the horse cards next time. And no, you couldn't be pregnant you repulsive preteen...