The Dictionary of 'chard #3

WIAGAR
Irritant, Acronym

When I Am Good And Ready. Used in the defence of one who is being pestered by another to complete a task, such as reading a book or posting on an RP. (See also: IAGAR, GAR, WYAGAR)

So endeth the MME

(I am not happy.)

And so, the MME's come to an end. BRAiNFREEZE were the starter, Lacuna Coil the main course, Dido and Aeneas were the moist towel and finger bowls, Comalies the after dinner mint, which left the car crash and internal haemorraging on the way home purely down to MME #5: Avenged Sevenfold.

And all of those metaphors are accurate. BRAiNFREEZE were the starter, since there was minimal moshing and only slight volume. Lacuna Coil were the main course, offering the volume, atmosphere and venue. Dido and Aeneas offered none of those (not being food) but was still a fun part of the cycle. Comalies was something enduring, with the initial sweetness leaving a lasting freshness, despite not being as filling as the real thing. And as for the haemorraging? Oh yeh baby!

At 6 of the clock, Dave Matt and I were assembled on the platform of West Wickham station awaiting the rest of the company. Matt was bedecked in the shirt of the A7X themselves, while Dave and I (and eventually Nick and Chris also) were suited in the shirt of that condition caused by quick ice cream eating. We all clambered onto the train, and after lengthy conversation that covered such topics as 'gay pastimes', paralytic drunks at reading, Reading itself, Leeds and sex with frozen excrement, we got off (the train) at London Bridge at alighted to the tube system, thankfully devoid of bombs. We met Guy and after a very crowded tube ride (goth sluts and jewish businessmen in the same carriage. Meaty) we got off (the tube) at Kentish Town and made our way to the Forum. Walking along the queue (which was the sameish length as LC) I was accosted for the Nightwish hoody which was rather nice of the man. He was wearing a BFMV shirt though, so I have no idea what he was talking about giving me fashion branding advice. We got into the queue and had much fun with a man who was just sitting in his car (pervishly)

After passing one vomiting man (took him the length of the queue to get that drunk. Think his name was Paul) we got into the Forum and headed straight for the bar (where I managed to get served, first time for everything) and proceeded to spend 40 minutes during the supports (Bullets and Octane or something and someone else. No MCR clones though) getting rather neatly toasted. Matt, Nick and I then headed for the middle. This was going to be fun.

So, the rousing opening to Beast and the Harlot came forth from the massive speakers as the band (The Rev, Johnny Christ, Synyster Gates, Zacky Vengeance and the illustriously bicepped M. Shadows) strutted on stage. I caught I think a glimpse of the sexyness before I felt the crowd behind me give way into the mosh pit. And I was straight onto the floor in seconds, but after a quick regaining of balance was back in along with the rest. And damn was that fun! The opening ended and they moved onto the classic that was Unholy Confessions

Here I must add a note. If you know the story, don't be telling me no lectures. The pit was again in full swing, but alas, I could slowly feel my shoe coming loose from my foot. The thought did cross my mind to put it on again, but for some lack of reason i never did. Anyway, this was to be my undoing, as the shoe inevitably was loosed from my foot, and before I could retrieve it was again at floor level. When I was back up I scanned for my shoe, but was not to be, my shoe was gone. After being pursuaded quite effectively (heels fecking hurt) I left the pit for the rest of the evening, which I was rather moosed about. Well, I say for the rest of the evening...

...that lasted about 2 minutes, as they decided to start playing one of my all time favourite A7X tunes, the incorrectly titled I Won't See You Tonight Pt 1. Amazing song, which me Matt and Nick linked arms and swayed along, belting the lines back at M (now shadeless. Sexy mother fucker!).

They played, for anyone who actually cares (what I can remember at least:

• Beast and the Harlot (OHMIGOSHYES)
  
• Unholy Confessions (OMGY)
  
• Trashed and Scattered (OMGY)
  
• I Won't See You Tonight Pt 1 (OMGY)
  
• Strength of the World
• Second Heartbeat (OMGY)
• Bat Country (OMGY)
• Burn it Down

There were probably one or two more. they were only on for an hour and a bit, leaving first after the 50 minute mark (prompting some heckling from the crowd, which even I joined into with some choice words).

Once they had left for real, I walked around the now empty Forum looking for my long lost shoe, but was in vain. I resigned myself to its loss and ventured with the others back home. I staved off the discomfort of sock travel by stuffing the sock with the Metro, though I couldn't keep the noise of the several hundred A7X fans from entering my ears. Man I have NEVER heard a tube that loud!!

So that is that. Also of note these past few days, I bought new shoes and 2 new shirts and a tie (from Primark, which is also a dynamo) and spent the majority of Saturday absolutely maiming the Stompp man at Halo. And watching Serenity, which is a very slick film. Apparantly I have Firefly on the way, so might make some more sense now, thanks to the Toby for that.

(Still not happy)
Night
'chard

Playing: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (KOTOR)
Reading: 'Kid Radd'
Listening to: 'Sunburn' - Muse
Annoyed with: Everything
Mood: Hmm, let me think
Song currently stuck in head: 'Seemann' - Rammstein
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Aeon' - Lacuna Coil

Wierd Weekend

This wierd weekend has actually only been wierd becuase of one deciding factor: I've actually done things. While usually my weekend involves me sitting here spewing out immense amounts of random crap on MSN to you wonderful chaps (and nonchaps more likely) I actually spent almost ALL or this 2 day stretch doing things of various consequence.

So, saturday. I was awake and alert by 1030, which for myself is an incredibly disorienting feeling. Dad and I then trekked up the road to the fabulous stretch that is West Wickham High Street (the middle of the middle of nowhere, or TMotMoN, not to be confused with any Digimon) where we proceeded to have my ugly mug photographed 4 times for the purposes of international customs registration papers (passport photos). We also went and had a look at shoes, as both pairs of mine (yes girls, shock horror, it is possible to own less than 5 pairs) had become woefully tatty and small, and in these days of gravitational precipitation and the resultant accumulation of H2O on the paving stones it meant that my toes were getting rather more wet than was strictly nessecary. We couldn't find anything in Clarks, though we did have a good old larf at the "Buy One Get One Free" stand, which is only really funny if you knew that there was only 1 shoe on display and the very nature of there being a PAIR of shoes. Ah hilairty. We also on this excursion went into the Post Office to claim a part of a Dyson and some forms with which to affix the photo of me too. So i can flee the country if i need to. Not that I do. Nope. Never. Not me. Then, after a healthy lunch, I exited the abode of my dwelling and made my way to the abode of the dwelling of Dave. Uponst arrival, I shushed Cristina and co. and we got to work producing the script for our coursework film, which after an hour and a bit was complete (as a draft) so i toddled off home and procrastinated for the time until food. During this period I beat fellow 14+ member's score on Space Dodge, Braniac, Collapse, Chicken, Fruitdrop, Asteroids, Snake and Tetris. After food, I showered, sliced half my chin off with a razor, walked to Louis, realised just how disgustingly out of tune his guitar is, and awaited the arrival of Gary and Ashley. When indeed they did arrive, we toodled off, with Pallo Lerond also in tow to Croydon FC, to join Chris and Ricky in the celbration of thier 18ths

The dashing hosts there. The main highlights of the evening were Paul getting completely wasted (this being the first night of serious drinking for him) and Ashley being a cheating little shit:


Had to include the second photo for the obvious posage of Chris Manlow in the background. And for the record, it wasn't just Paul who was knocked sideways by the drink:

Love that photo. Any way, was a good night, even with the presence of some shit music and too many Year 12's.

Today I wrote 2 scripts. 2!! Well, ok one of them is Shakespeares, and one is just the one we did yesterday but neater and more technical. But was a busy day! I also researched the paperclip, which was bloody interesting.
I think I need to relax a little... Oh, and MME#3/4 are complete. #3 rocks immensly and #4 was staggering.

'chard
Playing: KOTOR hopefully
Reading: 'V for Vendetta'
Listening to: 'Revolution DeathSquad' - Dragonforce
Annoyed with: Tyler
Confused about: Nothing
Mood: Knackered
Song currently stuck in head: 'Mr. Jack' - System of a Down
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Unspoken' - Lacuna Coil

A Very Blogger Caption Competition ('chard)

In the style of Bliss's photo guru section, we decided we could easily have a go. In the space of five minutes the shutter was aclicking. So, the challenge to us was this: using only the same 11 photos (variants and omissions allowed) we all have to create our own stories/ advice pages. So, lets get cracking. Note that i know not the subtle art of gimpin', so I couldnt do the speech bubbles, and no other effects other than one. Can you spot it? Answers to the usual address. So, here is my attempt, in true bliss-esque fashion:

"Dear 'Ask 'chard'...

I recently asked my bessie mates round for a game of poker. However, we soon got into a massive fight and it all went wrong! I felt totally gutted, and we're so not talking any more. Could I be pregnant?"

Lets look at the problem:

Jon meets Lewis and the two are talking about such wonderful things as the weather, horses, zorses, and how phenominally STRAIGHT 'chard is (totally in contrast with our questionable bliss photographer). Jon invites Lewis to the Poker game that evening
Lewis calls up 'chard and invites him also. "A poker game? That'd be great! You call the others, I'll see you there"

'chard however, realises he doesn't actually know the rules to poker, so spends some time brushing up...

While 'dr00 answers the phone to Lewis's invitation

As the party gets underway, 'chard overhears a plot between Jon and Dan involving cheating. Lewis also hears this, and plans his revenge

The first few hands are played craftily. Dan, using his cleverly concealed Zen and earpiece, is able to be told the cards of the other players! But Lewis has another trick up his sleeve...

Eventually, that hand is called a draw, although Andrew lost totally, so decided at this point to go slightly mad

Still insane, Drew pointed out the trickery that 'chard and Lewis had undertaken! Lewis hid behind 'chard, while chard answered to the accusatory stares of Dan and Jon

A fight quickly breaks out, and chard is killed in the fray...

Leaving jon and Lewis to come to blows.

The problem here is easily solved. Use the horse cards next time. And no, you couldn't be pregnant you repulsive preteen...

Chard: (singing) And so it begins

Aware or not you may have been,
That musical events I am to see,
They number so far five,
And almost all are live,
Two so far have passed along,
Let me stop singing this song...

So, as that appaling bit of non-prose details the next few weeks (and most of the month of march) is full t'bursting with wonderful events of musical themes. These five are (in chronologicalish order):

1. BRAiNFREEZE*
2. Lacuna Coil*
3. Comalies
4. Dido and Aeneas
5. Avenged Sevenfold
   

So, first up is BRAiNFREEZE, the combined force of the musical talents of Chris Champion, Tom Gail, Jamie Rostant and Liam Riordan, all sublimely erotic young gentlemen. I'm totally straight, ok. Anyway, they were but a 5th of the entertainment for the evening (unless you count the crowd, but I'll get to them later), with the other bands in the fray being Madura, Eliminator Jr, Finally Found and the ever ready injection of pure oestrogen that is Femme Fatale.

First up were Madura, who were as yet unheard of in my experience. They were obligatorily loud and pointlessly lacking in any volume in the vocals, but that didn't matter too much. Nothing special, but certainly doign their best (bless'em). It was however during this time that I managed to find myself in a three man mosh pit, up against Nikc Staines (meh) and Nick Snipp (ah hell no...). So that was nice and violent, though I removed myself from it VERY quickly once Gideon joined the fray, since that man is DANGEROUS. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEROUS I TELLS YA!!!

Ahem, second up were brainfreeze themselves (for which most of our group were being nauseatingly groupieish and were wearing the shirts). And the sex they were, belting out such classics as Dark Secrets, Black Soul, Radiation Burns, Humpty Dumpty,and even some new additions to the proceeding such as the lovingly titled 'Epic', andthe amazing half time entertainment of Chris throwing a drumstick at Jamie's head and the band forcing Sean the Prefabricated into a stage dive. Hisparity indeed.

Femme Fatale. Sigh, such loving girls with a definite musical talent as long as it doesnt stretch beyond the same 4 notes. Still, catchy as they indefinitely are it was still rather fun, even if I have seen far too much of the bassist. Far, FAR too much... *shudder* Then Eliminator Jr. Oh my life what a catastrophe... not only were they generally appalling, they played for far too long, had two people at the side of the stage who didnt actually DO anything, but also managed to break an amp, which pissed of many people, and held up the final act considerably. Sorry guys, but no... no... So finally we come to Finally Found. Who were outstanding, if just for their opening speech: "We'd like to say thank you to Brainfreeze, Madura, Femme Fatale (long and deliberate pause) and f*ck you to Eliminator Jr.". Well said Dave. Anyway, they were also musically sound, though it was rather miffing to have to leave before the end suddenly.

However, special mention must be given to the crowd at United Reformed Church. While there were the normal people like Nick, Nick, Matt, Rob, Dave, Rachel, Sarah, Rob, Anna and myself that was it when it came to normality. The rest of the crowd were all extreme emo freeks between the ages of 13 and 16, between the heights of 3 feet and 5 feet, and between the genders of male and female (to such an extent that we started up a rousing game of Guess the Gender, though for some 'Vole' was an acceptable alternative). An astute observation by Sarah was that they all were in possession of the same volume, thus meaning they were either 3 feet and massive, or 5 feet and turned invisible when side on (though both sets managed to fit their legs into drainpipes...). MUCH fun was had with one member of the crowd. Rob and in fact most of the group were scared of this... creature. Imagine an obese sperm whale in a wig. Now imagine it having sex with your grandparents. It was THAT revolting. And, for your viewing pleasure, thanks to Sarah, here she is!

So that was March Music Event #1 over. MME #2 commenced yesterday evening with the 1810 train to London Bridge. After much kerfufflement (and the ticket machine stiffing me out of £3.70 change) I found myselfd in Kentish Town tube station awaiting the arrival of Fan, Helen, Toby and Kirsten. When indeed they did turn up, we traipsed off to a pub to meet Jon B and his other that is significant Sarah (different other). After a quick few minutes of talkage and conspiring about exactly what was going on behind the door of the gents (eventually agreeing on a trapdoor that led into the Ladies that changed your gender as you entered), we left and entered the Forum. I immediately recalled and memorised the route and proceedings, as MME #5 depends upon it. We got in, and stood near the back for a while while the support act (Deathstars, think a bizarre cross between Manson and MCR, but more zombified and there you are) belted out their quite good m00zakal style. Then, after a swift round of drinks, mercy and poking, we moved into the main bulk of the crowd for the entrance of Cristina, Andrea et al and their belting out of some brillinat music. Of the roughly 12 ish songs played I knew only 3 (Swamped, Our Truth and Heaven's a Lie), which was understandable due to it being the first worldwide public performance in promotion of Karmacode, and so it was quite probable that noone there knew most of the songs. Still, everyone was characteristically amazing, so Karmacode is definitely on the buy list. April 14th guys, go get.
After some obscene trains and a VERY late night (worse than for NW) I staggered to sleep in completion of MME #2. Nothing like sleeping with a ringing in your ears.

Now just to wait for MME #3. Depends on Sa that one...

'chard
Playing: Minesweeper
Reading: 'Wrongboy's History of the World' - I forget
Listening to: '(sic)' - Slipknot
Annoyed with: Tyler
Confused about: Tea
Mood: Drained
Song currently stuck in head: 'Our Truth' - Lacuna Coil
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Eyeless' - Slipknot