Thieferrey!

I'm going to justify my horrendous theft of Kirsten/Hane/Toby/whoever else's wondrous work thus: Thanks to the argumentative powers of young Miss Oxenham, I am not allowed to publish my candid video of her making a complete arse of herself on EyeToy. As such, and considering that I haven't blogged for some time, I shall just fill with this.

1.One book that changed your life?
I can't really say. I've never had a book that ever completely shook the earth beneath my feet on its own, though I suppose in the grand scheme of things it would have to be Jill Murphy's Worst Witch series, which was responsible not only for my current bookish nature but also for my acceptance of literature designed purely for girls. It's a guilty pleasure.

2. One book you have read more than once?
Pretty much every book I've ever read I've consequently re-read, either because I enjoyed it that much and just wanted to do so again, or because I've forgotten half of it, or simply because there is so much more you can understand and gain the second time around. One example: How many people in 1997 read that Hagrid had borrowed Sirius Black's bike and actually made something of it? Cha-ching Ms Rowling.

3. One book you would want on a desert island?
Hm, depends. If it was a desert island of the sort where there's a 5 star hotel nearby, with a pool and many young, naive, yet eager to learn women around, then Lord of the Rings, simply for the enjoyment. If it was the desert island where I was completely alone (and without rum) then Pride and Prejudice, because (and I'm sorry for this) it's the only book I've read where all I wanted to do with it was use its pages to slit my wrists/build a bonfire with. I'm gonna get so many nasty letters for that...

4. One book that made you laugh?
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night time. As a rule I generally dont actually laugh with books. Not sure why that is.

5. One book that made you cry?
I don't think a book has ever done that (except when someone threw one at my head) but I've certainly been shocked or otherwise emotionally affected. See the end of the 3rd Princess Diaries or the Red Wedding in A Song of Ice and Fire for examples.

6. One book you wish had been written?
Dances with Dragons/ A Time for Wolves. OK, they're being written yeh, but not fast enough! Get on with it Martin!!!

7. One book you wish had never had been written?
Gonna piss everyone off here and say the Bible. Though I would like to clarify that answer by saying that it's not that I wish it hadn't been written, more I wish it had been written more clearly and less confuzzzling. For instance, in the prologue, couldnt someone have put:

"Yo, dudes, just to let you know; that whole commandment thing about not killing people? Yeh, that should also mean 'Thou shalt not kill, even (or especially if) I or JC or any other diety or omnipotent force say you should. Cos, you know, it's written right there in plain Aramaic/Greek/Latin/KJV (whatever that is) 'Thou shalt NOT kill. Full stop. End of. In fact, can I just add in the 11th commandment? 'Verily, those that say I'm talking to them without me actually saying so (with burning bush and/or other miracle accompaniments) are very very delusional and should be taken into the proper care that they deserve. Cos, as forgiving a God as I am, those guys are just whacked in the head. Oh and this book is dedicated to Mary. Stand up girl, sorry I had to take off like that. Call me?'

It's amazing how many people get that wrong you know...

8. One book you are currently reading?
J.R.R Tolkien's one and only.

9. One book you have been meaning to read?
The Da Vinci Code. Not because I want to challenge the demons in the Vatican (and frankly, anyone who thinks it does should be taken into care, as per the 11th Commandment.) but becuase most people agree that it's a darn good read. Except Lewis, but, you know, 11th commandment and all that. :-P

10. One book which disappointed you?
Enduring Love by Ian McEwan. And not even becuase I was examined on it. more because it went : "WHAP AWESOME FIRST CHAPTER!! OMFG LIKE WHATS GONA HAPPEN EXCITEMENT EXCITEMENT possible weird bloke, but thats a subplot right... no...no thats actually the story... ok...this guy is nuts...this guy is annoying...that girl needs the 11th on her...this book is shit..."

11. One book which exceeded your expectations?
Spring Awakening by Wedekind. Ok it's a play, but damn, just read it! And keep it under the bed with trhe dirty mags.

And now, for you amusement, I'm going to change the word 'book' to 'song'. TWISTAGE LOL!¬

1.One song that changed your life?
End of All Hope by Nightwish. Otherwise I could still have been on the film OSTs. Swiftly followed up by Duality by Slipknot.

2. One song you have heard more than once?
My most listened to song according to Last.fm is Duality, but thats not true, cos WMP lists The Siren by Nightwish as being listened to 357 times.

3. One album you would want on a desert island?
Only one?! Urgh... It's a toss up between Slipknot's Vol.3 The Subliminal Verses and My Chemical Romance's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge.

4. One song that made you laugh?
Any Tenacious D song when sung with Matt and Rob. And they're touring soon! Whee!!!

5. One song that made you cry?
Quite a few, but most recently was 'I Never Told You What I Do For A Living' by MCR.

6. One song you wish had been written?
One that transcended all genres and was both mainstream and underground enough to please EVERYONE. Can you imagine the sales?

7. One song you wish had never had been written?
The double edged sword that is The Carpenter by Nightwish. 'tis true that If it hadnt been they'd never have got anywhere in the music world, but goddamn is it shit...

8. One song you are currently listening (to)?
Working my way through all my Within Temptation (legally procured). Currently on Gatekeeper, which was coincidentally my first WT song. So there you go.

9. One album you have been meaning to listen to?
Atreyu's Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses or A Death-grip on Yesterday. Cos they aren't too bad.

10. One song which disappointed you?
The Killers latest...'effort'. It's nowhere near the genius of the material on Hot Fuss

11. One song which exceeded your expectations?
Screw song, My Chemical Romance as a whole. Guilty as i am of slagging them off from the bandwagon, they are actually very VERY good. And anyone who says otherwise without actually hearing them needs the 11th.

Now, that video of Oxenham being a prat. I made a deal with her (well, not really, but screw her). If i get 15 comments to this post then you get her. I'm so evil :D

'chard