Should be toilet trained by now...

As Dave has so rightly pointed out, today is the day when, 2 years ago, this little blog came into its existance. Perhaps this year I will give a brief account of how this blog came into the amazing stardom it now holds in the 'sphere. As romanticised by esteemed author Garth Smee.

As a young boy, 'chard grew in the seedy backwaters of West Wickham (hereafter referred to as 'TMON'). Rooting through bins for sustenance and nutrition, his only friends were another street urchin named Jon and a small ball of rolled up socks he affectionatly referred to as "Bimbob the Wise". 'chard was relatively content with his life; though the rich inhabitants of TMON looked down on him (on occasion spitting at him or chasing him down dark alleys with sticks and pitchforks in the great TMON tradition of the angry mob) he, Jon and Bimbob lived comfortably. After all, TMON was full of high quality bins and recycling facilities (though the bottle banks where a bugger to get comfortable in). Jon, however, yearned for greatness. Everyday he would wake early, and look out over the fields and hills at the rising sun while Bimbob and 'chard slept.

One day, 'chard awoke early, and after extracting himself from the flea ridden blanket he slept under, he looked and saw Jon sitting on the fence of the field, staring into the distance. He walked up to the fence and leaned on it, as Jon spoke, without looking at him. "One day, this field won't be here. One day this field will be houses, shops, pavements, roads; people like us won't be welcome here. Why don't they want us? Because we have nowhere else to go? No place to call our own? Well I don't want them, I don't need them. This place will move on and so will we. But places like this will run out, there'll be no more space for us. One day, I'll make them notice us. They'll have to see us, have to give us what we deserve, have to let us exist." He turned and looked at 'chard. "We're better than them. We're free. We can go where we like, when we like. They're stuck where they are, kept down by laws, kept in line by social and moral restrictions. We don't have that, we can outgrow them, we could RULE them..."
'chard looked up at Jon. "But there's more of them. What can we do against all of them?"

Jon grinned and jumped off the fence and walked into the trees, beckoning 'chard to follow him. 'chard clutched Bimbob to his chest and walked after him. A little way in 'chard found Jon crouched over a fallen log, scraping away some leaves to reveal a small metal box. He handed it to 'chard, who studied it nervously. It was kept closed with a small, rusty clasp, which he undid and opened the box. Inside was a small cube, barely an inch long at each side. It was a deep orange in colour, with a white symbol on each face. As 'chard held it in his hand it grew steadily warmer. "This is what will make us great, 'chard," Jon said, the orange glow of the cube reflecting off his face "We can use this to become something more powerful than those that go against us."
"What does it do?"
"Well... actually I don't know. I only found it last month. I've been thinking for ages, tapping it, hitting it talking to it. This is the first time its done anything."

The cube began to melt in 'chard's hand, spreading out over his hand, covering it in the same orange sheen. 'chard gasped, and screamed as the world vanished into a white light.

When 'chard awoke, he stood at the door to a brave new world, born of his own hand, which had been destroyed by the cube. THus, the new world was named Slightly 'chard.. and 'chard, as the gatekeeper of this world, has grown in power... and the time is fast approaching when he will return...

Happy 2 years guys :-)
'chard

Playing: Lego Star Wars
Reading: 'A Feast For Crows' - George RR Martin
Listening to: 'Los' - Rammstein
Watching: Due South
Annoyed with: Nothing
Confused about: Nothing
Mood: Content. Vnucs :)
Song currently stuck in head: None
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Keine Lust'# - Rammstein