It Was a Time For Heroes...

...heroes, from a MACHINE!!! Yes. I too like Jon have been spending quite a bit of time mucking about on that wonderful machine of legends. However, unlike teh l337 'trobe, I can showcase some of my creations!

First up, an Orc Warrior, off on another quest to loot, pillage and find hobbits. Don't worry, Sam will kill him if he tries anything:

But who can stop such a savage beast as this orc?! Why, none other than pretty boy elf fairy queen Legolas!

However, during the quest, genres become confused, and it seems Tywin Lannister is on the field, complete with his trademark golden armour! But alas, he has taken one of the Stark's direwolves for his own!!! It was going to be Ghost, but then I got the colour wrong, so you get Summer instead.

But what fantasy story would be truly fantasy without magic? To this end I present to you two dreaded foes: a skeletal Red Wizard from the very depths of the Netherealm, and from the great city of men a noble Cleric of Thunder!


Suddenly, into the fray come several streaks of red light. Far in the distance, the noble warriors see the wonderful sight of copyright infringement in action!

In a sudden puff of illogicality, the battlefield turns into a coursework essay. It seems all this fighting for peace truth and justice was all in the procrastinating mind of a young 17 year old in his place of education:

Damn i'm sexy. Why did all this Machinemania spark you ask? I needed a visual representation of one of my characteres in a roleplay, and she ended up like this:

Hey, Fiaoe, how ya doin'? Interestingly, about a year ago, first concept for her was this drawing by the inestimable Ell, whose intellectual property and talent i hereby exploit. This drawing was done only from this excerpt:
She was met by a street filled with women, all dressed in long black robes, almost ball-gown in their appearance. Their hair was left flowing down their backs, dyed black from root to tip. The dark of their hair and clothes left their faces looking a very pale white. The exposed arms were covered from the knuckles to the elbow in an ornate bracer, that had been stained black. Around their waist was a deep red sash, from which hung two scabbards. The swords were gripped in the hand. - Me, Nov 7 2004



-

So what else have I been up to, other than being desperatly pathetic? The abode of the Matt was the venue for some rather drunken moments of interest. Spend time with the mother which was cool, ranted stupidly at people, tunred others emo, and got to watch Rob and Matt... "enjoy themselves". Ah twas all fun.

Lacuna Coil in 6!!! WOO!!!
'chard
Playing: Grandia II/ Ocarina of Time
Reading: 'A Feast For Crows' - George RR Martin
Listening to: 'Half Life' - Lacuna Coil
Annoyed with: Lack of sleep ability
Confused about: Not much
Mood: s'good
Song currently stuck in head: 'Swamped' - Lacuna Coil
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Reverie' - Lacuna Coil

Comalies

About to piss off to Matt's so this will be short, but i would just like to moan piteously and say:







I MUST HAVE THIS ALBUM!!!

Well now that's out of my system, I bid you all a fond farewell. Sorry about the length of the last few posts, but...well, meh. I'll see you all later.

The Dictionary of 'chard #2

Vnuc
Affectionate, v

A show of affection or friendship, embodied and performed by the catapulting of the giver's body through the air, landing upon the reciever. Usually performed across great distances (eg, from a University down to London and/or back again.)

Hot amounts of steamy sex!

Cos you know that I can!!!

How to waste a Friday

Some people spend thier Friday's doing many things. Some do chemistry coursework. Some maths. Some wash clothes, iron, go to the bank, eat at Wagamama and go to the theatre. Some, however, decide that use is not needed. That Friday, as the last day of the week (and in this case, the half term week) is a day to be spent doing absolutely nothing of any worth, any use, or any help to the rest of mankind (even those doing Chemistry). Some of us, namely Rob, Jon, Dave and myself (joined momentarily by Tom, and later in the day) are the sort of people who believe this. So, what exactly could we do to 'waste a Friday'?

I awoke at the absolutely disgusting hour of 8 o'clock, and at 8.30 I dragged myself out of bed, aided somewhat by a small cat, who insisted on using my face as a scratching post. After a quick check of the emails and a brushing of the now very wet hair, Jackie turned up and proceeded to makeme chauffuer her places for her amusement. This was a significant day for these lessons of driving, as it marked the first lesson since last July that was entirely in the daylight. I had been hoping, due to the current temperament of the weather, that I would also be able to experience driving around in the rain, something that as yet has not been accomplished. However, despite the usual conditions of England, the past week having rained and the rain dance beats I tapped on the steering wheel at every traffic light, no rain was to be seen. Much of a pity.

At the end of the lesson, we went up to The Crescent rather than my humble abode. After a turn in the road on that hill (which was very interesting, to say the least) I disembarked, did the whole chit chat about things at the end, then walked to Rob's (about 10 yards away). I was obscenely early, but it mattered not as I was able to help move furniture before people arrived. After a while chatting and a cup of tea, we saw the Jon walking towards us clutching two rather full bags. Swiftly deposited and arranged as nessecary, Dave then arrived, clutching a bag of food and drink. However, it had been revealed to Rob and myself that, despite being in possession of a great amount of smoked salmon, we were missing both cream cheese and the requisite bagels. Dave and Rob went to the shops, leaving me and Jon alone to entertain ourselves.

At this point, I must reveal the true nature of this gathering. As you may have noticed, I have been keeping you in careful suspence, unravelling only certain strands of this web of deceit, leading you down paths darker than the darkest alleys. In fact, this very paragraph is only adding to the tantalising stalling, meaning you STILL dont yet know what we were doing (though most who will read this were either there or were invited, so im going to shut up and get on with it).

The day was a day of nothing but videogaming bliss! A room full of consoles and food/drink with the promise on only more of the above for the entire day!!!

So, as I was saying. Jon and I settled down to the first game of the day, in order to pass the time while we waited for the others. It was quite quickly discovered that when it came to Goldeneye, on Automatics, on Stack, I was quite the bit better than Jon. However, he quickly countered this with a round on Super Smash Brothers, in which even Link couldn't defend me (a pattern that would continue). Finally, Dave and Rob returned to us curled up to a game of Perfect Dark, which I sucked royally at. Ah well.

Then the party truly began. The Mario Party 6, to be precise. A 20 round match of that boardgaming and minigaming stack of randomness. As Toad, I was doing damn well. I was 1st for pretty much half the game until I got all my stars stolen, so I ended 3rd (i think). The game actually went on for ages, so much so that it was ripe time to be attacking lunch (the aforementioned bagels).

After lunch, it was pretty much solid fare. The games played were (in no particular order):

Goldeneye
Mario Party 6
Mario Kart: Double Dash
Super Smash Brothers
Super Smash Brothers Melee
Perfect Dark
WCW vs NWO Revenge
Chef's Luv Shack

After all this (at midnight) Jon and Dave left, leaving Matt, Rob and me to play our final game. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Rob and Matt, both seasoned veterans, played on the Gamecube, alternating play between each player after every dungeon, with the challenge of completing the game by 8am (which worked out to 8 hours and 10 minutes solid playing). I played the original (and slightly shitter) version on the N64, which looked a heck of a lot uglier, but served well enough. My own challenge was to get Link to do this:
So, in just about 7 hours I had to make little Linky grow into slightly larger Linky. Even managed it, go me!

We stopped finally at 9am, with Rob and Matt having made it to the second to last dungeon in the game, all rather chuffed and devastatingly tired. After a slight walk back, I got home, checked t'internet, then slept a blissful sleep. And now I shall go and sleep another.

Friday Statistics:
Amount of Games played: 9
Time at Rob's: 23 hours
Time spent playing games: 22 hours
Consoles used: 2 (N64/GC)
Players: 6
Food: Junk, Bagels and Pizza
Drink: 4 litres of Pepsi and about 2 crates of beer
Health value of food: 0%
Sleep: 0 seconds
Pointlessness: Lots
Fun had: Far too much
To be done again?: Definitely

'chard

Playing: What aren't I playing?/ Ocarina of Time
Reading: 'A Feast For Crows' - George RR Martin
Listening to: 'Spit it Out' - Slipknot
Watching: Nothing
Annoyed with: I slept once today already!
Confused about: Where the forst temple is. To GameFAQs
Mood:Gooooood
Song currently stuck in head: None
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Keine Lust' - Rammstein

Should be toilet trained by now...

As Dave has so rightly pointed out, today is the day when, 2 years ago, this little blog came into its existance. Perhaps this year I will give a brief account of how this blog came into the amazing stardom it now holds in the 'sphere. As romanticised by esteemed author Garth Smee.

As a young boy, 'chard grew in the seedy backwaters of West Wickham (hereafter referred to as 'TMON'). Rooting through bins for sustenance and nutrition, his only friends were another street urchin named Jon and a small ball of rolled up socks he affectionatly referred to as "Bimbob the Wise". 'chard was relatively content with his life; though the rich inhabitants of TMON looked down on him (on occasion spitting at him or chasing him down dark alleys with sticks and pitchforks in the great TMON tradition of the angry mob) he, Jon and Bimbob lived comfortably. After all, TMON was full of high quality bins and recycling facilities (though the bottle banks where a bugger to get comfortable in). Jon, however, yearned for greatness. Everyday he would wake early, and look out over the fields and hills at the rising sun while Bimbob and 'chard slept.

One day, 'chard awoke early, and after extracting himself from the flea ridden blanket he slept under, he looked and saw Jon sitting on the fence of the field, staring into the distance. He walked up to the fence and leaned on it, as Jon spoke, without looking at him. "One day, this field won't be here. One day this field will be houses, shops, pavements, roads; people like us won't be welcome here. Why don't they want us? Because we have nowhere else to go? No place to call our own? Well I don't want them, I don't need them. This place will move on and so will we. But places like this will run out, there'll be no more space for us. One day, I'll make them notice us. They'll have to see us, have to give us what we deserve, have to let us exist." He turned and looked at 'chard. "We're better than them. We're free. We can go where we like, when we like. They're stuck where they are, kept down by laws, kept in line by social and moral restrictions. We don't have that, we can outgrow them, we could RULE them..."
'chard looked up at Jon. "But there's more of them. What can we do against all of them?"

Jon grinned and jumped off the fence and walked into the trees, beckoning 'chard to follow him. 'chard clutched Bimbob to his chest and walked after him. A little way in 'chard found Jon crouched over a fallen log, scraping away some leaves to reveal a small metal box. He handed it to 'chard, who studied it nervously. It was kept closed with a small, rusty clasp, which he undid and opened the box. Inside was a small cube, barely an inch long at each side. It was a deep orange in colour, with a white symbol on each face. As 'chard held it in his hand it grew steadily warmer. "This is what will make us great, 'chard," Jon said, the orange glow of the cube reflecting off his face "We can use this to become something more powerful than those that go against us."
"What does it do?"
"Well... actually I don't know. I only found it last month. I've been thinking for ages, tapping it, hitting it talking to it. This is the first time its done anything."

The cube began to melt in 'chard's hand, spreading out over his hand, covering it in the same orange sheen. 'chard gasped, and screamed as the world vanished into a white light.

When 'chard awoke, he stood at the door to a brave new world, born of his own hand, which had been destroyed by the cube. THus, the new world was named Slightly 'chard.. and 'chard, as the gatekeeper of this world, has grown in power... and the time is fast approaching when he will return...

Happy 2 years guys :-)
'chard

Playing: Lego Star Wars
Reading: 'A Feast For Crows' - George RR Martin
Listening to: 'Los' - Rammstein
Watching: Due South
Annoyed with: Nothing
Confused about: Nothing
Mood: Content. Vnucs :)
Song currently stuck in head: None
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Keine Lust'# - Rammstein

Wha?!!

So last night was a journey into the deep dark depths of Beckenham, to join the usual cr00 and the host Steve for the celebration of his 18th year on this planet (something i'm sure we are all thankful for). At 18.55, I realised I was going to have to make a serious run to the bus stop where I was scheduled to meet Dave Rob Matt and Chris. At 18.57 I was on my way to Steves thanks to Chris's skilful piloting of Aggy, and I arrived there with only Olly and the Banfield Clanfield in attendence (with The Hair only seconds behind). Eventually, after much waiting and preemptive chat, the rest of the great assembled host had arrived, and they were: Jon, MCMcC, Lewis (plus waistcoat) Laura (and friend, whoever she was) Matt, Rob, Tom, Chris, Dave J, Poppy (shudder), Helen, Emmie, Fan, Sanj, The Almighty 'drew, Nick, Dan and last, certainly not least was the one and only Gwyn, who spent a lot of time licking my arms and face... nice.

The highlight of the introduction of peoples stage was perhaps the arrival of Rob Matt Dave and Chris, who had brought with them a gift of almost titanic proportions: a jar of pickled onions, a box of mince, some cheese and prawns in some sort of squirty tube, a jar of powdered fish and "Bernard", who turned out to be a gutted rainbow trout, which then found its way around the populace quite fast., even turning into a flying fish as it soared over a large crowd to land in the middle of the hall, to much mixed laughter and EEWs. The other moment of hilarity was the arrival of nick, was was heralded by the sound of an airhorn, Rob's girlish shriek and all the poeple who were by the door jumping back by about a foot. Ah, a fun evening it was, and even as we were walking home the hilarity and ASBO related activities never ceased (stolen trees/spongebobs and stops by police making themselves known)

Thanks much to steve for the evening, was much fun and brilliance and one to be seen again
'chard
Playing: Tombi
Reading: 'A Feast For Crows' - George RR Martin
Listening to: 'Hyper Music' - Muse
Watching: Top Gear
Annoyed with: Myself
Confused about: Myself
Mood: Dobity
Song currently stuck in head: None
Favourite Song of the Minute: 'Spitfire' - Prodigy