September 02, 2005

Seamus Heaney VS Electroman!!!

Yes, its the superhero showdown you've ALL been waiting for! You are of course aware of the true evil that is the poet Seamus Heaney, author of such marvellous poems as "Blackberry Picking", "Digging", "Death of a Naturalist" (not naturist, as i found to my relief) and his most recent work "I Want To Take Your Soul and Mould It Like Putty Into What I Percieve As A Perfect Denizen of my Almighty Kingdom on Earth, Zieg Heil". Nonetheless, despite the brilliance some seem to see in his poetry (HA) he is an AOO of high status. A quick reminder of all his evil traits:Image hosted by Photobucket.com
As can be seen here, Heaney boasts a pair of claws hands, much aking to Xmens Wolverine, along with red eyes, a skull and crossed bones tattoo, and the mark of the beast on his chin. However, Heaney was not always the dangerous demon he once was. No, in his youth he was the Holy Knight Valharion Heaney, sworn to protect the king along with his legion of men, all skilled with sword and bow. Here, a rare picture of him in the height of his power, sword drawn in defiance of all evil (though he also favoured the use of an axe), wearing only a chainmail tie, his eyes afire with the wrath of the Lord:
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For many thousands of years, Valharion Heaney served the kingdom of Ireland, his mounted cavalry bested by none. However, Valharion was weak in spirit in the later years of his life. One day, he lead a raid against a daemon encampment that lay ready to attack his province. The daemons however were prepared for the attack, and Heaney's men were quickly repelled under a hail of bow fire. Heaney charged the camp alone, and soon the sound of sword on shield quietened, and the legend of Heaney was lost to the ages..
...until he resurfaced in his new daemonic state, realised the pen was mightier than the sword, and took to writing poetry.

Now, what of Electroman? He was a regular businessman, Adam Robertson. He was head of an electronics store franchise, and everyone described him as particularly 'high-powered'. So everything seemed to make logical sense to him, and he immediatly changed into the electricity wielding maniac we know well. Here he is before changing:Image hosted by Photobucket.com
And after:Image hosted by Photobucket.com

And so, at a press conference, Electroman leapt on stage were Heaney was reading his latest work, "Bow Down TO The Potatoes, Potatoes Being A Metaphor For Me" and used the twin microphones to shock Heaney with a full charge:
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Heaney was knocked out in one, leaving EM to shock the audience by burning Heaney's poetry books, and then fleeing through a power line.

Heaney got up, swore revenge, and dissapeared into the night...

5 comments:

Chard said...

Some trivia on this post:

-The pic of Seamus as a demon and the one of him being shocked are from the same ceremony. 'Electroman' is actually giving him the medal visible in the first pic

-Electroman is a different person when alone than when in the pic with Heaney. Though I admire the likeness

-Paint pwns!

Chard said...

Oh, and another.

-This is post 255, which means according to Final Fantasy, I have maxed this particular Stat (255 being the maximum you can have your Str, Int, Wis, Mag, Agi and Eva)

-The new quoteis from the film Hitch, directed by a Mr. Bisch :P

Jon said...

Why does Heaney look to be in so much pain when he's receiving his medal in the last pic? :S

Dauve said...

I always knew there was something sinister about that Seamus.

Lewis said...

"Why does Heaney look to be in so much pain when he's receiving his medal in the last pic?"

I have to agree; that would be a hilarious pic by itself.