Filler

Why am I the only person who actually has a massive fucking hate of the heat? Chalk it up to being your typical introvert with his vampiric desire for shade (hold the blood please) but seriously, enough is enough. It's currently 23.17 (you know, night, when the sun is no longer shining and it should get cooler?), the french windows are open, and yet i am still here red as a beetroot with sweat pouring out of my forehead like it grew up aspiring to be a waterfall when it grew up.

And you know what? Heat irritates me. Not just cos its blinding and all that, but I do get really hot and bothered (punnage) in this weather. And it just annoys me more when people say to me "But it's glorious weather, it's great, i love the sun, I'm going to have it's babies etcetcetc". First off, when was the heat and light 'good' weather?! Why is rain and cloud 'bad' weather? Both are as natural as each other, why the preference? Cna anyone really give me a reason why sun is better than rain? I can give you my reason for rain over sun (which actually invariably wins me any argument on the subject). Sun causes sunburn,which takes a week (ish) to disappear completely, leaving you scarred, possibly with peeling skin and a higher risk of skin cancer (might kill you). And that's from about... an hour unprotected at midday? Rain, on the other hand, get you wet, perhaps cold if theres a wind blowing. How long does it take to cure yourself of that? 20 minutes with a towel, a mug of a warm drink and a feel good film. Ok yes,hypothermia and pneumonia etc etc, but only if you are out in the cold and damp for long enoughand dont get warm or dry. But in the same time space as the sun exposure, an hour at midday, you don'thave much to worry about (and who doesn't want an excuse to relax?). As Billy Connolly said, 'there's no such thing as the wrong weather, there's only the wrong clothes'.

There's only 3 things I thank the sun for: Nature, salads and female fashion.
Not that the last one of those is at all benefitial for the sweating tomato man of doom here.

Oh, and to anyone who like me this morning, has to go through a 3 hour long exam in this heat. I pity you. So, so much...

To paraphrase Tim Buckley:

"Dear Sun,

FUCK OFF!!!

Kisses and Lollipops,
'chard"

Real post coming soon, i swear